Offensively Incompetent People Often Drop 11 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Peter Platou | PexelsIncompetence is defined by an inability to do something, but the biggest indicator of an incompetent person is how they approach the unknown. Like psychology educator Kendra Cherry suggests, there's a phenomenon where people overestimate their abilities but don't have the self-awareness to realize how inept they are.
Truly incompetent folks often use phrases in conversations without recognizing how they come across. In the face of a new challenge, they simply aren't willing to try new things. They hold themselves back with their toxic mindset, and it makes others very uncomfortable around them.
Phrases people often say when they're offensively incompetent:
1. 'It's not my fault'
Srdjan Randjelovic | Shutterstock
Many incompetent people rely on blaming others to avoid taking accountability for their mistakes or hurtful comments. They don't want to own up to their errors, even though it would be an opportunity to grow. Instead, they prefer to use phrases like this to distance themselves from taking ownership of their faults.
When people are critical of others, they're likely dealing with deep insecurity. They shift blame away from themselves and put others down. They're making up for their perceived weaknesses and dealing with uncomfortable emotions like embarrassment by taking the heat off themselves.
2. 'I'm stuck'
fizkes | Shutterstock
Incompetent people tend to steer clear of challenges, especially with tasks they don't think they can do. They're also afraid of others thinking they're bad at something, caring deeply about any negative thoughts towards them. Instead of working through their struggles, they rely on "I'm stuck" to ask for help from others.
While asking for help and advice is often perceived to be a sign of intelligence and strength, incompetent people rely on the intervention of others far too often. They refuse to challenge themselves through personal growth, and see themselves as victims.
3. 'That's not my job'
Littleaom | Shutterstock
A lack of flexibility is something offensively incompetent people have. That's especially true in the workplace, where teams work together and challenge themselves towards a common goal. But rather than wanting to work alongside their colleagues, they decide that they already have too many responsibilities.
While setting boundaries at work is important to protect your well-being, being adverse to helping others or going the extra mile is detrimental. But that's just what inefficient people do, passing blame to others.
4. 'This is a problem for someone else to fix'
fizkes | Shutterstock
Incompetent people tend to avoid any kind of situation where they're forced to challenge themselves or feel uncomfortable. It may be out of embarrassment or fear, but they truly believe that by shifting blame and never taking responsibility for anything, they'll find peace. But really, all they get is stagnancy and discontent.
If there's a problem in front of you and a perceived solution, along with a journey that could end in some kind of lesson or growth, what's the harm in trying it? If the worst thing you experience is a slight bit of embarrassment or failure, that's much better than watching from the sidelines or doing nothing at all.
5. 'I'm not good at this'
Lightfield Studios | Shutterstock
Nobody is good at everything, but the difference between a competent and incompetent person is that one is going to try. "I'm not good at this" is something an inept person says. They demonize not knowing something. Instead of diving in head-first or trying things they know they're not good at, they stay where they're comfortable.
Engaging in a new experience or trying something that you're bad at is how you grow, according to a study by the Max Planck Florida Institute. Incompetence isn't necessarily predicted by intelligence, but complacency in the face of discomfort.
6. 'You're better at this'
fizkes | Shutterstock
Psychologist Susan Albers suggests that weaponized incompetence is associated with this demographic of people, partially because of discussions on social media. In relationships, partners utilize weaponized incompetence to avoid responsibility for a task by pretending they aren't good at something.
Incompetent people use this to their advantage. For example, they may say something like "You're better at doing the dishes, so you should probably do them." Or, they purposefully do the laundry the wrong way so their partner does it next time.
While they might not be genuinely incompetent or unable to perform a certain task, they rely on this idea to relieve themselves of perceived burdens.
7. 'I'll get to it eventually'
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock
Influenced by insecurity and plagued with low self-esteem, incompetent people often make excuses to protect their own ego and image. Instead of challenging themselves in ways that help them become better people, they seek external validation by avoiding negative emotions like embarrassment or jealousy.
Like therapist Dave Lechnyr argues, this tendency to rely on excuses and shift blame around is a learned behavior for incompetent people. They've been forced to shut down in the face of failure and were likely criticized for seeking challenges. By pushing away these hard tasks and never truly addressing them, they can live in comfort without judgment.
8. 'It's impossible'
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock
If you haven't already learned this basic principle in adulthood, nothing is ever impossible. Your job might transform in a way you've never expected. You might personally grow in ways that make new things more feasible. You might fail at something, but it's never impossible.
Our mindset about what we're capable of achieving is what truly defines our perceived success. When we restrict ourselves to incompetence, not trying new things or getting out of our comfort zones, we see the world through an uncomfortably rigid lens. And that's not beneficial for anyone's happiness.
9. 'It's easy, I could do it'
voronaman | Shutterstock
Incompetent people tend to have a misalignment between their perceived skills and their genuine abilities. This might cause some internal turmoil with truly incompetent folks, as there's typically a misguided aura of either overconfidence or insecurity.
The phrases these people use often revolve around this disconnect. They sabotage healthy connections and interactions by acting like they know more than everyone else. But really, they're compensating for their low self-worth.
10. 'That wasn't me'
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
According to psychologist Lauren Florko, not everyone's perceived incompetence is malicious or genuinely weaponized. Rather, sometimes it's a learned behavior or misunderstanding that's not being addressed.
Phrases like "that wasn't me" aren't always inherently founded in blame-shifting behaviors. Actually, this defensiveness is often a reflection of an incompetent person's discomfort with failure. When they've watched someone else experience an uncomfortable emotion or project discomfort onto others, they use phrases like this to avoid shame.
11. 'I'd rather do nothing'
Perfect Wave | Shutterstock
Incompetent people are chasing comfort, rather than challenge. So, when a difficult or demanding task comes up or they're faced with a conflict, they'd prefer to avoid accountability and take a backseat. They'll say "I'd rather do nothing" to express their unwillingness to take action of any kind.
This is why being around incompetent people is so frustrating. Not only do they actively acknowledge their tendency to do less, but they prefer to express it to avoid confusion or uncomfortable situations. They aren't looking to change anything, but to sit in the comfort of what they already know.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
