People Who Are Mental & Emotional Realists Usually Say 9 Phrases In Everyday Conversations
Andrea Piacquadio | PexelsMost people act first and think second. When emotions take over, it's hard to respond with logic and poise. We say the first thing that comes to mind with zero care in the world, using our emotions to justify our sharp reaction or defensiveness, and labeling it as calling it like we see it.
But for mental and emotional realists, they aren't acting on emotion. Instead, they're being practical and acting based on facts. These people don't pretend to be happy when they're sad, or let their negative emotions make decisions for them. They'll use certain phrases when talking to other people, which
Phrases people who are mental and emotional realists often say
1. 'People are allowed to feel differently'
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Most people want others to agree with them, even if they're clearly in the wrong. When it comes to their ego, it comes first. But in a conversation, realists say "people are allowed to feel differently" because they know it's true. They won't spend hours trying to change someone's mind.
But just because they won't argue, that doesn't mean they'll stay silent about their opinion. As psychologist Rick Hanson said, "It is not a guarantee, but lying and cheating are guaranteed to poison relationships over time." That's why they never hold back. It doesn't need a big speech, but they let others know the importance of nuance.
2. 'I can only speak for myself'
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Realists don't put words in other people's mouths. They're logical and cautious, so when things get heated, they're quick to use this phrase. Rather than jumping to conclusions, they let others speak for themselves and don't assume, despite their anxiety.
They only speak about their own assumptions. That way, if they're in the wrong, it doesn't turn into a huge misunderstanding. Other people also have room to correct them and set the record straight.
3. 'I can't control how others feel about me'
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It doesn't matter how kind you are. You can have the purest intentions, and someone will still assume the worst. Mental and emotional realists don't waste their breath explaining themselves because of this. If someone is determined to misunderstand them, they'll use this phrase to defend themselves.
As humans, we all desire to feel supported and understood. Feeling socially connected is a basic human need, after all. But just because we desire it doesn't mean they are breaking their backs over it. If people won't give them the benefit of the doubt, realists choose to let it go.
4. 'People change'
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As realists will tell you, "people change." We all evolve over time and grow as we experience new things. Everyone's perspectives shift and their attitudes fluctuate. When someone is a realist, they understand this fully and don't hold onto an outdated version of someone.
In an ideal world, they wouldn't have to get used to saying goodbye. But they're accustomed to practicality and the reality of situations. So, they let things go and don't let it consume them.
5. 'I'm not surprised, honestly'
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At some point, realists were naive too. But the older they got, the more experienced they became. Older and wiser, whenever something negative or unexpected happens, they use this phrase when talking with others. They know that life is unpredictable and things happen.
Life isn't sunshine and rainbows. We don't get what we want just because we demand it. Realists are well-adjusted to this truth. They know that the more you fail, the more room you have to grow.
6. 'I'm not going to assume'
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Are they tempted to assume the worst? Of course. Realists might be logical, but this doesn't mean they aren't human. They experience anxiety just like everyone else. Still, they don't use their emotions as an excuse to spiral or take things out on other people.
Jumping to conclusions isn't healthy, but it's normal. As psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein explained, "Jumping to negative conclusions often stems from our deep-seated 'fight or flight' automatic thought patterns." That's why people need to find ways to ground themselves, or they'll remain in a negative mindset.
7. 'You can't control everything'
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Nobody can control everything around them. As hard as they may try, it's just not possible. Mental and emotional realists understand this fully, and don't stress themselves out trying to do something unattainable. Regardless of what happens, they know it'll be okay.
It might not be easy, but life gets better. Because they have such a deep understanding of this, they don't stay stressed for long. Instead, they focus on what they can control and trust the rest will work itself out.
8. 'Let's not overthink it'
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There's no use overthinking things, as it only leads to more stress. Rather than agonizing over their past interactions or mistakes they made, realists call on their resilience to get through it. They say "let's not overthink it," because they know that ruminating only makes matters worse.
People who ruminate are much more likely to experience more anxiety and depression. So, it's important to find ways to ground yourself. Especially in stressful situations, the more you overthink, the more irrationally you'll react, and your body will internalize all that worry.
9. 'It is what it is'
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Life doesn't always work out the way we expect it to. That's just how things are. But realists don't dwell in it. Instead, they accept the situation for what it is, shrugging off the fact that they didn't get their ideal outcome. It may be hard at first, but they're resilient.
They don't have time to sit around and wonder how things could have been. They don't stress out over things they can't control. Whatever happens, their moment will come in due time.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
