People Who Actually Enjoy Their Lives Have Close To Zero Tolerance For 11 Things
Chunry | PexelsThere's no single right way to live a good, happy life. But for most people, social connections and healthy relationships are at the center.
For others, finding meaning in work or having high emotional intelligence shape their life quality. Still, there's also something to be said about the kinds of things people avoid to protect themselves. For example, someone who really enjoys their life often has close to no tolerance for these things.
People who really enjoy their lives have no tolerance for these things
1. Chronic complainers
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When we're around people venting, it can sometimes be empowering and offer a chance for us to grow closer. But chronic complainers, who constantly come back to the same issues without ever changing anything, often spark negativity over time.
Unfortunately, that negativity can become contagious, leaving everyone in their path with a kind of despair and frustration they don't always have the words to express. To protect their well-being and energy, happy people choose to create space with these kinds of folks.
They can enjoy their lives because they surround themselves with people who both model and support them in actually taking control of themselves.
2. Relationships they've outgrown
It's comfortable and easy to linger in relationships that you've outgrown. Yes, you're stagnant, but sometimes the certainty and predictability of being around someone you know well is easier to cope with than the discomfort of change.
We crave a sense of security as humans, even when it's not always in our best interest to stay in our comfort zones. But someone who's truly happy surrounds themselves with people who not only empower them to be their best selves, but support them in many ways.
If you're with a toxic partner or a friend you've outgrown almost entirely, they're not capable of doing either of those things earnestly.
3. Unrealistic workplace expectations
Being overworked and pushing toward burnout affects the physical body. It sabotages our sleep and increases our stress levels. Burnout can also make it harder for us to truly appreciate positive moments in our lives, while amplifying negative emotions.
If someone truly wants to enjoy their lives, they don't have to have a job they love, but they do need a sense of work-life balance. If they're spending all their time working and constantly battling anxiety about their professional life, that's no way to live.
4. Entitlement
A strong desire to help others is often associated with a happier mindset and better life quality. Even small acts of kindness and compassion seriously bring meaning to our lives in unexpected ways.
But when we surround ourselves with entitled people who take on an "I don't owe you anything" mindset, it can stifle the kindness that protects our ability to help. That's why people who enjoy their lives won't tolerate entitlement, because they know just how powerful helping and being helped is.
5. Unhealthy comparison
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While we can sometimes idolize people and compare ourselves as a form of motivation toward our dreams, comparing ourselves only serves as a method of self-shame and blame. We feel worse about ourselves, not only because our relationships suffer in competition, but also because we shape our worth around completely unrealistic expectations.
It seems like such a harmless part of our daily lives, but in reality, our physical and emotional health is threatened when we live in constant comparison and competition mode.
6. Narcissism
On top of entitlement, narcissistic traits like superiority and manipulation are things that people who love their lives will never accept. When gratitude and compassion lie at the heart of their happiness and fulfillment, being around someone who thinks they're better than everyone else is completely destructive.
While narcissists may curate a kind of happiness and meaning in their habits, it's not something a person with true emotional intelligence or empathy wants to surround themselves with, no matter how alluring it is.
7. Dwelling on regrets and grudges
Forgiveness, for ourselves and others, is tied directly to our health and well-being. If we hold grudges toward others, we're living in a state of resentment. If we dwell on old regrets and mistakes we can't change, we're living in a place of shame that sabotages our happiness.
Even if that means moving forward and forgiving someone who doesn't always deserve it without closure, the people who enjoy their lives do so. They know that they have control over how they feel and live their lives, even with old mistakes and mistreatment from other people lingering in the background.
8. Drama and gossip
Even if gossiping with people we trust can sometimes be bonding, people who are truly happy save their energy for uplifting conversations and interactions. They're not interested in talking about people behind their backs or spreading rumors, because they have much more interesting things to bring to the table.
Rather than defining their conversations with an aura of negativity, they focus on the things that make people feel heard and valued.
9. Trying to avoid mistakes
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Our comfort zones can be alluring. In today's world when things can feel so uncertain and bleak, knowing that we're doing things and spending time with people we're comfortable with can feel like the only security we have.
But the happiest and most successful people have a kind of openness in all things. Yes, they try new foods and speak with people they wouldn't normally cross paths with, but they also step outside of their comfort zones with intention. They don't avoid mistakes, but lean into their discomfort as an opportunity to learn and grow.
10. Overthinking and suppressing emotions
Overthinking patterns, like replaying conversations for hours before bed or spending too much energy reading into a single text, keep us stuck in a perpetual state of anxiety. We're trying to control things that literally cannot be controlled, and our body and emotional state feel the wrath of that effort.
The same is true for trying to shove down emotions we aren't comfortable addressing. The more we push them down, the more they build up, and the harsher the consequences become. Suppressing feelings only makes them transform into a bigger beast.
So, even when it's hard to release worries and process emotions the moment they arise, the happiest people make an effort. Over time, it gets easier with practice, but it's something they know is necessary to protect their well-being.
11. Avoiding conflicts
Many people truly believe that avoiding their problems makes them go away. While doing so often provides a fleeting sense of relief in the moment, over time, an avoidant attitude only spirals into more stress and internal turmoil.
In general, the people who can truly enjoy their lives have zero tolerance for any kind of avoidance. They're not in the business of pushing their responsibility away.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
