Parents Whose Kids Still Adore Them Once They Grow Up Usually Have 10 Distinct Traits
Billion Photos | ShutterstockNavigating adulthood is difficult enough without good parents or a toxic home life. But when their kids grow up, some parents have certain traits that make their kids adore them all these years later. They were parents who offered emotional support and provided a safe space, shaping their children's well-being for the better.
While some people may not want to visit home or even have a relationship with their parents, others appreciate everything their parents did for them. Whether it was leading with empathy or listening to them intently, these parents and adult children share a very special bond.
Parents with these traits have adult kids who still adore them
1. Open-mindedness
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Communicating effectively with an adult child revolves around ensuring everyone feels heard and understood. As experts from the Newport Institute pointed out, "Rather than judge your adult children or try to solve all their problems, validate their feelings instead... When you validate their feelings and experiences, you open the door for more upfront communication."
Parents who validate their children's emotions and opinions, even if they don't agree, often have the healthiest and most loving relationships as their kids grow up. Each party feels comfortable talking about anything. So, for parents to have kids who actually adore them, it's essential to accept them for who they are.
2. Empathy
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Psychologist Dr. Maika Steinborn argues that expressing empathy to children evolves as they enter adulthood. There's no perfect way to show up for them, but there are ways for parents to support their kids depending on what kind of help they need.
Considering more young adults today are recognizing the link between their childhoods and challenges into adulthood, it's important for these parents to take accountability lead with compassion. Even if they don't necessarily agree, parents should listen without judgment or support their child's emotions in a kind way.
3. Listening more than talking
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Unprompted advice often sparks resentful feelings in a parent-child relationship, especially when it happens frequently. Many adult children go to their parents for emotional support and not solutions, so when they're met with unsolicited advice, they feel dismissed and invalidated.
But parents whose adult kids still adore them listen instead of talk. When their kids vent to them, they cultivate a safe space for them to express their emotions without judgment. They only add their own advice and feedback when they're openly asked for it.
4. Respecting boundaries
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In her book "Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin," author Anne Katherine explained that healthy familial boundaries can feel uncomfortable to protect if a person grew up in an unstable home or with toxic parents. But good parents respect boundaries, which encourages their kids to communicate on their own and ensure they respect others.
Parents who advocate for their children's boundaries throughout their lives, whether it's knocking on the bedroom door or asking for advice, instill this practice. It fortunately sets their future adult relationships up for success. Because when children feel respected by their parents, they're not afraid to relay a similar understanding back.
5. Trustworthiness and honesty
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Being able to trust a parent is similar to any other relationship: it's necessary and essential. If someone can't count on their parents to listen without judgment and keep your secrets, they won't have a healthy relationship.
Becoming a parent that your adult child trusts doesn't happen overnight. In fact, it often starts early in their childhood with respectful boundaries and honest communication.
According to a study published by the Journal of Adolescence, knowing your children is the foundation for a relationship built on trust. When parents provide this, their kids have a safe space where they can express their emotions and be vulnerable.
6. Confidence
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According to research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, an adult's self-esteem and confidence is largely founded on their childhood. Their parents' ability to celebrate authenticity, while also speaking highly of themselves and protecting their own self-esteem, is what gives kids the freedom to create their own individuality.
Into adulthood, these children have a more balanced sense of self. They're able to protect their relationships from insecurity and open the door to more genuine connection. As long as their parents continue to feed into these habits and practices, they tend to have a healthier relationship than those who don't.
7. Being open to change
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Clinical psychologist Diana Hill explained that being a psychologically flexible parent is just as important as being enthusiastic about physical changes like a new job or lifestyle. By finding ways to support their children and pouring into their own emotional health, parents can be a psychologically flexible parent.
But without parents accepting and welcoming their kids, there isn't a safe space to open up. This safe space is important in a parent-child relationship, even if it's not solely relied upon like it was during their adolescent years.
8. Emotional intelligence
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Empathy and emotional intelligence are two sides of the same coin, and both are very common among parents whose adult kids adore them. Healthily supporting other people without a basis of internal emotional intelligence is nearly impossible, after all.
That's exactly why emotional intelligence is an essential trait for parents to have. Good parents don't need to look to their kids for reassurance or validation, instead giving their kids love and an overwhelming sense of support.
9. Humor
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As family therapist Amy Smith explained, there are plenty of communication styles and techniques that support parent-child relationships, but the beauty of playfulness is often overlooked. When parents can introduce humor into uncomfortable conversations and ensure their kids feel good expressing their struggles, they create a safe space when they lead with humor.
According to a 2024 PLOS One study, parents who utilize humor in their relationships with their children often cultivate healthier connections and communication skills. Not only does humor teach problem-solving skills and relieve stress, but it can bring families closer together.
10. Reliability and consistency
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A study published in Cureus revealed that children who grow up with reliable and emotionally consistent parents have lower rates of depression than their counterparts. Even into adulthood, the effects of this support prove impactful for maintaining healthy relationships between parents and their kids.
Without the anxiety of an unreliable parent, kids have more space for open communication and trust. This security ensures they have a safe space for each other, and gives adult children the foundation to grow other personal relationships with future partners and friends.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
