You Can Usually Tell Your Kid Thinks You're A Great Parent By 6 Things They Feel Comfortable Doing Around You
Ground Picture | ShutterstockBeing a parent is far from easy. Despite the love and care you put into raising your child, the last thing you want is to feel that you let your child down or didn't do a good job raising them.
But when kids feel comfortable doing certain things around you, it's because they fully trust you. When kids can focus on just growing up instead of living with fear or doubt, it means you're a great parent, and they think so, too.
If your kid feels comfortable doing these things around you, they think you're a great parent
1. They come to you for comfort
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If your kid is coming to you when they're distressed, they feel safe enough around you to seek you out for comfort. They may call out to you or crawl into your lap, looking for you to wrap your arms around them and soothe them. To them, your presence offers security.
A study published in Infant Behavior and Development found that children are more likely to turn to their primary caregivers for comfort when they're upset. The more they viewed that person as the "primary" caregiver, the more likely toddlers were to seek out that parent when distressed.
2. They share their thoughts and feelings with you
While it may not seem like a big deal at first, your kid voluntarily sharing the things on their mind means they feel emotionally safe with you. They trust you enough to unload their emotions.
Sometimes, kids can be closed-off to expressing themselves, especially if they live in a home where emotional expression is discouraged. Children are tight-lipped around parents who make them feel unsafe.
But if your kids are actively bending your ear, you're giving them the freedom to not just regulate their emotions, but feel safe. The fact that a child feels comfortable enough to talk about a new friend they've made or the drama happening at school means they know that it's a judgment-free zone, and they can talk and ramble without being dismissed.
3. They ask for your help and opinions
If your child goes to you immediately when they need help with something, they trust you enough to guide them. They feel comfortable asking for guidance, and they know that you would never lead them astray or shame them.
Kids who don't feel safe around their parents usually end up being hyper-independent because they've learned from a young age that they can only count on themselves.
And as parenting expert Meri Wallace explained, "Children need a positive self-esteem. It is in your eyes, your words, your actions, and your smile that your child forms an image of himself. Children desperately want to feel that they are valuable. Giving your child a good feeling about himself, by protecting his self-esteem, is one of your greatest challenges as a parent."
4. They include you in their world
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Whether it's asking to watch a movie together or do arts and crafts for fun, when a child wants to include you in their world, it's a huge indicator that you're a great parent. They want you to be involved in everything they're doing because it gives them a sense of comfort.
They go out of their way to include you in their interests because they genuinely want to spend time with you. They want to connect with you through what matters most to them.
5. They disagree with you without fear
When a child questions your decisions respectfully or challenges you, it's because they don't have any fear that you'll invalidate them. They feel safe expressing themselves because your relationship is rooted in open communication.
In a situation where a kid may not feel safe around their parent, they'll become completely silent or just agree with everything that's being asked or demanded of them. They're walking on eggshells and don't want to rock the boat.
Psychologist Jim Taylor explained that parents who raise their kids using fear as a way to get their obedience are only doing their children a disservice in the long run. "Fear in childhood creates stress, insecurity, anxiety, and a host of other psychological, emotional, and physical problems later in life," he explained.
6. They're 'living room kids,' not just 'bedroom kids'
When your kids are comfortable playing or just existing in the common areas of your house, you're a great parent because they trust you wholeheartedly. When children isolate themselves or retreat to their rooms, they want to stay away from their parents because they feel unsafe.
They don't want to hang out in the living room or do their homework sitting at the dining room table. They hide themselves away to avoid any anger or tension that may exist in the home.
But when kids feel safe and comfortable around you, they want to spend time with you in the living room. They want to sit next to you while you're watching TV because they know they won't be dismissed for being themselves.
You're their safe space, and when they become adults, they will thank you for the way you raised them.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.
