Boomer & Gen X Parents Who Refuse To Accept How Hard Things Are Today Usually Say 8 Dismissive Phrases
Kues / ShutterstockIt can be difficult for baby boomer and Gen X parents to understand the conditions their millennial and Gen Z children face. The economy is difficult, and finding a good job isn’t a sure bet anymore.
Large-scale studies have shown that the usual U-shaped curve of happiness over the course of people's lives has been flattening substantially for some time, and is doing so at an increasingly rapid pace with Gen Z. Still, their parents and grandparents often have a hard time grasping what the world is like right now, and they tend to say things that make them come across as dismissive and unable to see the younger generations' perspectives.
Baby boomer and Gen X parents who won't accept just how hard things are now often say these dismissive phrases
1. ‘Back in my day’
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Okay, so maybe they don’t say this phrase verbatim anymore, but the sentiment remains the same. They often compare modern-day situations to the world they grew up in. Sometimes, they’ll explain things as if they had it worse. At other times, they may assume you’ll get by because they did just fine. This can come across as dismissive and a lack of empathy for what their children are enduring.
While this phrase can come across as dismissive, it might also be a sign of grief. They might miss how things used to be and struggle to grasp the world their children live in.
2. ‘Pull yourself up by your bootstraps’
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How many times have your parents told you that if you work hard enough, you’ll get everything you want? Instead of understanding that life is different than it was decades ago, they assume that you’re not doing enough to better your life. Ultimately, by saying this, they are holding their children accountable for situations they can’t control. They might think all it takes is motivation, but the odds are stacked against them.
These parents don’t understand how hard their children work. Sure, not every millennial or Gen Zer is working hard, but many of them are. The state of the world is holding them back.
3. ‘Other people have it worse’
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It can be hard for boomers and Gen X to understand where their children are coming from. They tend to believe they gave their children the perfect childhood and all the tools they needed to succeed. While this may be true, parents are only one part of our influences.
Things like the economy and our personal relationships also influence how we navigate life. Let’s face it, we all have bad days for various reasons, and it’s unfair for our parents to diminish them because they think others have it worse.
Of course, there are people who are having a worse time than we are in the world. I think we all understand that. However, it doesn’t make our situation less important. We are all entitled to our feelings, and they are valid.
4. ‘You’re fine’
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This is one of the most dismissive phrases a parent could say to their child. When everything feels like it's going wrong, we want our parents’ support. Sure, they may not understand our viewpoint, but that doesn’t mean they should shut us down by saying that we’re fine.
This phrase can sound supportive, but in reality, they’re belittling how we are feeling. The truth is, they likely grew up neglecting their emotions, and their parents did the same. This can make it hard for them to connect. Whether they mean to or not, they can pass that same mindset down to their children, struggling to understand where they’re coming from.
5. ‘You have a spending problem’
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At some point, I’m sure your parents have told you that if you save up, you’ll be able to afford anything you want in life. They make it sound so simple. Invest your money in what’s important, and success will come. They may say this about buying a house or car. Instead of understanding that the economy has changed, they may blame their financial struggles on their spending habits.
You may have heard of the avocado toast theory. Older generations believe that if their children stopped spending money on things like avocado toast and coffee, they’d be able to save up. Some say millennials actually spend less money because they grew up during the recession and watched their parents struggle, so in truth, it’s not always a spending problem holding younger generations back.
6. ‘You need better priorities’
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Sometimes, people in younger generations have priorities their parents don't understand. It’s not uncommon for parents and children not to see eye to eye. They may think their morals or standards aren’t good enough, pushing back against what they claim are poor priorities. They may also be too involved in their child’s life and believe they know how to fix it.
Older generations sometimes think that if their adult children put less effort into some things and focus on others, that everything will magically get better for them. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. Many outside factors affect the way we live our lives.
7. ‘We never complained like this’
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Conflicts have always existed between different generations as they struggle to understand where one another is coming from. This causes friction; everyone is comparing themselves to others. Some think they had it harder but never complained. They don’t understand why their adult children claim they have it so hard.
The reality is, this tale is as old as time. They might not realize their parents probably thought the same when they were their age. Changes in society mean everyone has a different experience, which can cause complaints. It often comes down to stress and social pressure. Let’s face it, everyone complains at some point.
8. ‘Stop overreacting’
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When parents and their adult children have a hard time understanding one another, it can strain their relationship. Conversations or situations can turn into arguments, and parents may think they’re overreacting. This attitude completely dismisses what their kids are going through. We need our parents to validate our feelings, and when they say something isn’t as bad as we think, it’s hurtful.
Things are hard today. It’s increasingly more difficult to survive in the economy and support ourselves on one income. If our parents don’t understand what we’re going through, it’s easy to say we’re overreacting and everything is just fine, but that still doesn't change reality.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
