8 Reasons Very Intuitive People Hardly Have Any Friends At All
Ruslan Huzau | ShutterstockIt seems like the older you get, the harder it is to make new friends. Psychologist Marisa Franco, PhD, said that this is because developing new friendships requires “continuous unplanned interaction and shared vulnerability,” which is much more likely to happen in school.
Unfortunately, people who are super intuitive face even more barriers to making friends. Being able to understand others and their feelings more easily means that they sometimes read people too well and give fewer people a chance to get close to them. This leaves them with a much smaller group of friends, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
8 reasons very intuitive people don’t have many friends:
1. They know what people really want
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Some people who have a strong sense of intuition are also extremely empathetic. These folks, known as intuitive empaths, notice the subtle things in life while also picking up on others’ emotions and sometimes even feeling the same thing themselves.
This gives them a heightened ability to read people, which isn’t always the best way to make friends. If they pick up on any undesirable traits in someone they meet, they’ll probably move on before they can form a close bond. It’s the best way for them to protect themselves, though.
2. They prefer deep relationships
There are plenty of people in the world who are satisfied with friendships that exist at the surface level, but not intuitive folks. They want true friends they can count on instead of a group of acquaintances they can only talk to about the weather and celebrity gossip.
That kind of deep friendship requires both people to be vulnerable and true to themselves instead of trying to live up to some perfect standard, which is a lot easier said than done. Not everyone likes to open up, and not everyone really knows how to react to someone who does either. That means it’s just not going to work with some people.
3. Their honesty makes some people uncomfortable
Intuitive people are really authentic, and they don’t try to alter or hide parts of themselves to fit in with the crowd better. They always choose honesty, even if that feels a little too real for some people.
It’s possible for someone to be too honest in a way that hurts others, but that’s not usually a problem. They never try to hit anyone with honesty so brutal that it’s painful. But some people think that even a healthy amount of honesty is too much, especially if they’re used to concealing parts of themselves. In that case, there’s no way to get close.
4. They like being alone
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There’s nothing wrong with someone who enjoys their own company. Spending time alone actually comes with a lot of mental health benefits, like getting to know yourself better and strengthening creativity. Intuitive people love this because it gives them more time to think and to recharge after their perceptive gifts start to feel overwhelming.
This obviously creates a pretty big problem when it comes to friendships, though. Even the most introverted among us have to be willing to leave the house and interact with other people to make friends. People who are really intuitive might want to spend so much time in solitude that they miss out on too many opportunities to socialize.
5. They don’t relate to many people
Research has proven that people who have strong connections are happier and healthier, and even live longer. The key to building those kinds of relationships is being able to relate to others and find common ground they can bond over, but that’s not easy for everyone.
Intuitive people are unique. Everyone has their own quirks and eccentricities, but these folks are excessively real and aren’t interested in dealing with or even hearing about drama. Friendship with them is rewarding, but it might not look exactly like what someone expects, which could create obstacles.
6. They seem too sensitive
A study published in Scientific Reports concluded that the most sensitive people don’t necessarily isolate themselves and spend less time around other people, but they do have a higher risk of feeling emotionally lonely, even when they’re not alone. A likely explanation for this is that the average person doesn’t know how to handle their level of depth.
This can be a problem for anyone with a strong sense of intuition. Chances are they might not even be more sensitive than others, but their ability to perceive things so clearly makes it seem like they are. This can make people feel like they can’t get close to them, or even worry that their own emotional intelligence is inadequate in comparison.
7. They’re careful around people who could deplete their energy
Empathy expert Dr. Judith Orloff, MD, said that people who feel everything deeply sometimes mistakenly believe that they need to not only be there for people who are going through a hard time, but also try to take some of that hurt on themselves. This means people who have special insight into others’ emotions have to learn to prioritize their own well-being so they don’t burn out.
When someone reaches a healthier place in their life where they know how to help people but not actually feel their emotions for them, they’re going to be very careful with who they let into their life. They don’t have space for energy vampires, which does weed out some potential friends, although they probably wouldn’t have been good for them in the first place.
8. They would rather have a small circle of close friends
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The most intuitive people don’t have a problem with being friendly with a lot of different people, but they like to keep their actual group of close friends pretty small. They want genuine relationships with people they know and love, rather than a large group that makes them look popular but never really shows up for them when they need it.
This mindset has some big advantages, according to a study published in the journal Social Development. Researchers found that young women who prioritized the quality of their friendships over the number of friends were less likely to experience social withdrawal. Intuitive folks just want to make sure their friendships are as authentic as they are.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
