8 Phrases To Say In Casual Conversation If You Want To Mess Up Someone’s Whole Day
KaterynaUKR / ShutterstockIf someone insists on playing games with you, a well-timed remark can stop them in their tracks. And if you get it right, you’ll probably leave them thinking about it for the rest of the day.
Ruining someone’s day is easier than you think. All it takes is a simple comment to completely mess up their entire outlook. These comments can affect someone's mood and can make them unhappy enough that your words change how the rest of their day turns out. If they've crossed the line with you and you're looking for a response that's clever and just satisfying enough to remind them they aren't the only person in the conversation with a sharp tongue, these phrases might be exactly what you're looking for.
If you want to mess up someone’s whole day, drop these phrases into casual conversation with them
1. "I hate you"
As a people pleaser, this is the easiest way to ruin my day. And it’s not just me. Everyone wants others to like them, and hate is the opposite of that. When someone tells us they hate us, they usually have a reason. Their friend might have been really hurt by them.
If you say this to a friend, they might worry you don’t want to be friends with them anymore. Losing friends can be really hard, especially when we're the reason. If they did something wrong, they might feel really guilty about making you upset. People might also begin to feel self-hatred for the way they acted.
2. “You’re so brave for wearing that”
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For university, I attended a school that was heavily influenced by SEC culture. Most girls like to wear tennis dresses and trendy styles. I tend to go for a turtleneck and jeans instead. This would often make me stick out like a sore thumb at parties. Most people didn’t mind and respected my personal style, but not everyone. Some girls would come up to me and tell me I was brave for the way I dressed.
Saying this phrase is a backhanded compliment. Although it might seem like someone is being nice by calling you brave, they’re not. They are pointing out how you stand out because you need confidence to do what you’re doing. It can make someone feel really self-conscious. It can also influence them to conform to the normal style or habits of people around them.
3. “I made other plans”
Sometimes we make plans with friends, and they show up way later than we scheduled. They might even cancel at the last minute. That can be frustrating on its own, but it can get even more annoying when someone cancels on you to hang out with someone else.
If you tell your friend you made other plans, it can leave them confused and hurt. Feeling like a second pick is never fun, especially by a friend. It confirms in our minds that we aren't the best. It could cause someone to worry that they aren't worthy of being your friend.
They might justify your canceling on them with their insecurities. Maybe they think they're too emotional. They could worry that you don’t want to hang out with them because you're too drained from dealing with their feelings.
4. “Why would you say that?”
I hate when this happens in social situations. The whole room will get silent, and everything will feel incredibly tense. If you’re trying to ruin someone’s day, putting them through that experience can be highly effective.
It can also ruin more than just their day. It can cause their other friends to question how considerate they are. Depending on what they say, their other friends may start to see the person who said something as rude.
It can be even more frustrating to someone if you don’t elaborate on what they said that was hurtful. If you walk away after saying "Why would you say that?", your friend can spend a lot of time racking their brain wondering what they did that was so hurtful.
Even if they know what it was they said wrong, friends can still get stressed when you say that phrase. We are already prone to feeling stressed when we think someone is upset. They might not understand why that hurt you and might not know how to prevent a tense situation with you moving forward.
5. “We need to talk”
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Imagine a friend calling you one morning and telling you, "We need to talk." Now imagine they follow this by ignoring you all day. When this happens, it can drive someone crazy. They can fall into the trap of overanalyzing their behavior towards you and notice every little thing they could have done better.
When we think through all our actions with the mindset of finding where we went wrong, we’ll probably find it. This isn’t because there is always something you could be doing better. It’s because our brains trick us into seeing things differently.
For example, say you respectfully told your friend you couldn’t hang out. Your brain might alter the memory, making you think you were more aggressive than you actually were.
6. "You don’t have to act that way"
This one could be meant as a compliment. Maybe you make cookies for everyone in your office now and then. A coworker could ruin your day by trying to assure you that you don’t have to put in so much effort to get people to like you.
This can make people feel like their friend is telling them they are trying too hard. People who feel that way can become hyper-aware of their actions and criticize what they’re doing. They might begin to worry that their other coworkers think the same thing.
When people feel enough doubt about their actions, it can scare them into indecision. This anxiety can ruin someone’s day when they try to interact with others.
7. “You aren’t like how people describe you"
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Someone might say, “You aren’t like how people described you,” in a tone that suggests this is a good thing. Whether it’s intentional or not, this is another one of those backhanded compliments. They’re telling you you seem better than the way people describe you.
It can make someone wonder what people are saying about them. They might wonder which of their friends said something. People can become obsessed with figuring out where that critique came from.
They'll also feel pressured to be on their absolute best behavior. They’ll probably want to prove that whatever negative thing was said about them is wrong.
8. “Given your history…”
You can also ruin someone’s day by using their past against them. You might bring up some of the behaviors or decisions they made in the past and use them to make decisions for them now.
Say someone has put on a little weight over the years. Someone planning to ruin their day might tell them that, "given their history", they saved them some extra food. This can make a person feel incredibly insecure.
It might be something they're already insecure about, too. If this triggers an insecurity, they may become panicked that everyone else notices the things they do. It can cause them to isolate themselves to avoid others seeing the things they don’t like about themselves.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
