11 Phrases Retired Boomers Would Say If They Didn't Feel Guilty For Admitting Them Out Loud
FOUR.STOCK | ShutterstockWe usually think of retirement as this reward for a life of hard work and think that not having a job anymore will lead to absolute freedom. Unfortunately, that’s rarely reality for even the most accomplished people. A lot of retirees struggle to come to terms with the psychological toll that comes with such a huge life change, though they may not readily verbalize it.
The phrases retired boomers would say if they didn’t feel guilty for admitting them out loud are, at the very least, incredibly difficult to listen to let alone think. The baby boomer generation is leaving the workforce behind, and are the ones who are grappling with what the future holds and what their purpose is without a job. They probably wouldn’t admit to feeling this way because retirement is framed as a privilege.
Here are 11 phrases retired boomers would say if they didn’t feel guilty for admitting them out loud
1. ‘I didn’t know I would be this bored’
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People assume that once they retire, they’ll be able to do whatever they want. As long as whatever they want to do is financially feasible for them, this is technically true. They’re no longer bound by the strict schedule that comes with working full-time.
This can backfire, though, because their job meant they always had something to do, even if it wasn’t particularly exciting. A sudden influx of free time could make someone wonder how they’re supposed to fill it. Even though they have time to do the things they always wanted to, it can actually feel like they’re just sitting around and doing nothing.
2. ‘The things I looked forward to aren’t interesting’
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As people get closer to retirement, they love to daydream about all of the fun things they’ll do with the time they used to spend working. All the things they enjoy but never seem to have time for can be a priority now, and they can easily pick up new hobbies that they’re intrigued by.
But the major transition that comes with retiring can often lead to depression, and a classic symptom of depression is losing interest in the things that normally bring you joy. So, instead of having fun reading and playing pickleball, a retiree might not feel like doing much of anything. This will leave them wondering what the point of retirement was in the first place.
3. ‘I’m so lonely’
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In a study published in the Medeniyet Medical Journal, researchers concluded that people do feel much lonelier after they retire, especially after the initial shock that comes with it. They also found that loneliness activates the same part of the brain as pain, meaning that feeling lonely may be even more uncomfortable than we think.
Despite loneliness being a common experience for retirees, few would be willing to admit it. A lot of people can’t afford to stop working, even in old age, so those who can think it would be selfish and ungrateful for them to say they’re unhappy with their new circumstances feel guilty.
4. ‘I miss feeling stressed all the time’
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Most people regularly complain about how stressful their job is and say they would do anything to have a break. This isn’t surprising since data from OSHA shows that 83% of employees say they have work-related stress. Being able to step away from all of that sounds like it would be a blessing.
Instead, people might find themselves feeling the opposite. No one really likes feeling stressed because of work, but it does give them a drive and determination to keep going. Without feeling that kind of pressure, retirees may find themselves feeling unmotivated and empty.
5. ‘I don’t really have a reason to get out of bed in the morning’
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This phrase might sound dramatic to some people, but it’s really not. If you think about it, all of those mornings when your alarm has gone off and you’ve thought that you’d like nothing more than to stay in bed, you’ve gotten up because you had no other choice. If you didn’t show up at work, there’s a good chance you would lose your job.
Someone’s purpose in life is related to much more than just the work that they do, but that is a piece of it. Human development expert Dr. Anthony L. Burrow said, “We are confronted with the ups and downs of life, but purpose is an active ingredient that helps us stay stable.” Without that purpose, it feels like there’s no reason to get up and go through the motions, which can be detrimental to a person’s mental health.
6. ‘Nobody needs me now’
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Most people are going to feel pretty needed when they’re in the middle of a busy career, even if they feel like they’d rather be needed a little less. This may continue in retirement for some people if they play an important role in taking care of their grandchildren or other loved ones. Still, even this is completely different than training new hires or meeting deadlines.
Counselor and researcher Steve Rose believes that the desire to feel needed is actually the “most important basic need” we have as humans. He explained, “The need to be needed is an individual’s sense of significance rooted in the sense of being part of a community or cause beyond themselves.”
Something as simple as having colleagues knock on your office door to ask a quick question or being reminded that that project is due tomorrow can make someone feel vitally important. All of that changes with retirement.
7. ‘It hurts to see younger people replace me’
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It’s really just the natural order of things for younger generations to move into the roles that were once occupied by those older than them. As overly blunt as it may sound, people get older, retire, and pass away. If society is going to continue functioning, there needs to be younger people ready to step in and take on their responsibilities.
But when someone leaves a job they held for a while so they can retire and a younger worker takes on the role, it can make them feel like they’re being replaced. Even if this is to be expected, it still feels like a betrayal and makes that person question their worth. Most retirees wouldn’t admit that they’re struggling to accept life just moving on, but that doesn’t mean they don’t feel that way.
8. ‘I’m ashamed of how sad I am’
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Retiring completely changes people’s lives in ways they don’t often think about. After all, they get so used to doing the same thing for decades that the shift feels monumental. Because of this, a study from the National Bureau of Economic Research found that between 6% and 9% of people experience worsening mental health after retiring.
Of course, this is not the side of retirement that society likes to popularize. Instead, it’s presented as this wonderful gift you should be grateful for. This means that if someone feels sad, or even depressed, after retiring, they’re going to feel confused and even a bit ashamed of their negative emotions, because that’s not what they think they’re supposed to feel.
9. ‘I miss my old routine’
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People tend to complain about the rigid routine they have to stick to when they’re working full-time. Most would jump at the chance to sleep in later or choose how they’ll fill their time spontaneously. Everyone assumes that retirement will come with this kind of freedom, but retired boomers would admit they miss their old routine if they didn't feel guilty admitting it.
People don’t always enjoy it the way they thought they would. Going from a 40-hour workweek to unlimited free time you can fill any way you want is a major adjustment. Even if someone has plans lined up to keep them busy after leaving the workforce, it’s still going to feel disorienting. And if someone doesn’t have concrete plans, that can make it even harder, because they went from a lot of structure to virtually none overnight.
10. ‘I don’t like spending so much time with my spouse’
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There are few things that would sound as heartless as saying you feel like you’re forced to spend too much time with loved ones like your spouse. Isn’t that the whole point of retirement in the first place? Although people may think of retirement as this magical era to endlessly bond with family and friends, everyone has a limit.
Everyone develops their own unique dynamic with their spouse, and that’s pretty heavily influenced by their respective schedules. Throwing those parameters out the window changes everything. Even if it makes you feel selfish or petty, behavioral analyst Wendy L. Patrick said feeling overly irritable and wishing you could spend time alone are signs that you actually do need some space from your spouse.
That’s hard to achieve when two people are under the same roof all the time. It means rediscovering what your relationship looks like in this new season of life, and it’s not something easy anyone really wants to go through.
11. ‘I feel like I was lied to’
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According to career transition coach J. Strom Butler, workers have a habit of romanticizing the concept of retirement and thinking it will be some perfect time in their lives. But when they get there, they realize it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. She noted, “In retirement, most of us still need that mental stimulation, independence, individuality, and purpose.”
This can make it feel like the whole world was lying about retirement and it’s really just a big scam. If someone always heard about how great retirement would be, finding that it doesn’t live up to their expectations will be hard to accept. They’ll probably think that the idea of leaving the workforce that they were sold wasn’t entirely honest.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
