People Who Act Like A Victim In Every Situation Usually Say 10 Phrases In Casual Conversation
mkfilm | ShutterstockNarcissists are prone to blame-shifting and painting themselves as victims. They can't help it. They need to seek pity from others when they can't get the validation or attention they need to feel secure in their own identity.
In some cases, people who act like a victim in every situation aren't operating from narcissism, but from insecurity or trauma. The phrases and excuses they use in casual conversations come from fear, rather than superiority or indecency.
If someone acts like a victim in every situation, they usually say these phrases in conversation
1. 'You made me do this'
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Blame-shifting is a classic tactic for people with a victim mentality. They'd prefer to paint someone else as the perpetrator of a mistake or misbehavior because it makes it easier for them to control the narrative. Even when they're placing the blame on someone they've actively hurt, they'd rather do that than own up and apologize.
"You made me do this" removes them of their responsibility and autonomy, but it also seems to protect them from addressing their own insecurities as well.
2. 'That's not my fault'
Many people believe that taking accountability or admitting to a mistake is a sign of weakness. For men who haven't grown into any kind of emotional intelligence and kind of misguided forms of masculinity, they'd prefer to avoid apologies altogether to protect their self-image.
They cover their tracks and use phrases like "that's not my fault" because they think it makes them look better when, in reality, it's showcasing their incompetence.
3. 'I have the worst luck'
Someone who chalks up success to luck is usually making an excuse for not changing anything about their own lives. They like to believe that their hardships and regrets are a fault of someone or something else, so they don't have to admit the reality: it's actually their fault, at least for most things.
Not only is it annoying to hear phrases like "I have the worst luck" as an excuse, but it also invalidates the work ethic of others. Their achievements and success are chalked up to "good luck," but it's actually personal agency and resilience that get them to where they are.
4. 'Nothing good ever happens to me'
For people who don't have any kind of self-esteem or inner security, playing the victim is a tool for them to soothe themselves. They feel better when they don't have to put in the effort to apologize or take accountability. They even avoid ownership over their own lives, blaming everyone and everything else for their unhappiness.
Saying "nothing good ever happens to me" is a whole lot easier than admitting they have no motivation to change their lives or any self-worth to fuel better habits.
5. 'Stop making me look bad'
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When someone expects an apology or offers feedback, they're not attacking you. In many cases, they're actually looking out for you. When we're faced with these moments of challenge, we grow into better people, unless, of course, we're someone with a victim mentality.
These kinds of insecure people instead evade accountability and blame-shift forever. They'd prefer for everyone else to feel attacked and inferior, as long as they're not the bad guy. "Stop making me look bad" is what they say to someone who's a mirror for their mistakes. They're defensive because they can't put up a facade.
6. 'You're always out to get me'
Most insecure people believe that feedback and criticism are attacks. They take everything personally because they desperately crave the attention of others and would like to assume they're the center of everyone's life.
They believe that people are out to get them when they're not offering praise or validation. When they know they did something wrong or made a mistake, and they're being called out for it, that feels like an attack. It makes them feel worse about themselves, so it's an attack, at least in their minds.
7. 'I don't deserve this'
Many entitled people who blame-shift when they're called out for misbehavior believe their deservingness is a justification. They think the world should bend to their needs and make life comfortable because they're on a higher pedestal than the average person.
However, this typical narcissistic behavior is rooted in insecurity, according to an NYU study. They're compensating for a deep sense of inadequacy, and they need other people to believe they're worthy to feel secure.
As we all know, bad things happen to good people all the time. Deservingness alone isn't enough to make life happy or convenient. We all have to find a way to take ownership at some point.
8. 'You don't get how difficult my life is'
By painting their experience as overly difficult and setting their struggles apart from those of other people, chronic victims can make it easier to seek pity. When their experience is the same as everyone else's, they can't get by with being passive and lingering in their sadness.
Instead, they need to exaggerate their pain and deflect blame so they can garner the attention and grace of others. Ironically, their lives feel easier in the moment when other people think their lives are miserable.
9. 'Stop attacking me'
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People who get defensive in the face of feedback and constructive criticism are operating from a place of insecurity. They already have a negative perception of themselves and struggle with low self-worth, so when someone is "attacking" them with negative feedback, they reaffirm that belief.
They can solidify the view of themselves that they're already using as a justification for poor behavior and neglect. They can believe that they're bad, and then turn around to seek pity for it.
When someone can't accept feedback, it's because they're not interested in taking accountability or changing anything. They want life to be easy, and learning to grow as a person isn't convenient.
10. 'There's nothing I can do'
By removing their agency in uncomfortable situations and using phrases like "there's nothing I can do" to justify their laziness, people who act like a victim can seek sympathy without having to actually change anything. Clearly, they're more interested in being passive and urging other people to do the hard work for them.
It's hard to cope with change, including learning from your own mistakes and taking accountability when something goes wrong. But leaning into that discomfort is how we grow into better people, compared to people living as chronic victims who literally never change.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
