People With Complicated Minds & Troubled Souls Usually Have 9 Habits That Only Make Things Worse
michasekdzi / ShutterstockWhen someone has been through enough difficult times, everything becomes more complicated, including the way they think and act. In an ideal world, they wouldn't have to deal with their lingering anxious thoughts and torturous emotions. But in their complicated world, it's not particularly easy to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Even if they genuinely want to focus on the positives, they've often spent too many years forming negative habits that certainly don't help anything, and often just make everything seem even harder. Once someone starts relying on these coping mechanisms, it tends to get harder and harder to leave their troubles behind.
If someone has a complicated mind and troubled soul, they usually have these habits that actually make things seriously worse
1. Overthinking every little interaction
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Deeply troubled people rarely know how to relax. From a young age, they've always been on edge. Every time they interact with others, they revisit painful conversations, as they've developed the bad habit of overthinking every little interaction.
Is it healthy for them? No. According to associate fellow and author Kyle Davies, BSc, MPhil, CPsychol, AFBPsS, "Though it feels productive, overthinking often delivers the opposite of what it promises. Rumination — repetitive, negative, and self-focused thought — is strongly associated with anxiety, depression, and emotional exhaustion."
That's why it's important to reconnect with themselves through mindfulness or grounding exercises. Otherwise, their troubled souls become more complex.
2. Pushing away people who genuinely care
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It isn't easy for people who've been through it to deal with their emotions. They try to keep a firm grip, but the more they try, the more they push people away. This doesn't only damage their relationships. It's also linked to poor health outcomes as a result of elevated stress levels. That's why troubled souls need to find a way to reconnect.
Yes, it's tempting to hide away when times get tough. Nobody likes vulnerability, even the emotionally intelligent. But just because we dislike it doesn't mean it's not important. If someone wants to grow out of their troubled ways, they need to start by reconnecting with others.
3. Replaying painful memories they can't change
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It's normal to replay painful memories. In moments of grief, most people think, "What could I have done differently?" People who complicate things because they've been badly hurt often replay painful memories they can't change as if it were their job.
But while reflecting can help us learn and grow, dwelling on it too much keeps us stuck in a never-ending loop of negativity. That's why they'd be far better off if they just snapped out of it. It's hard, but there's no use in thinking about the past 24/7. Instead, they need to learn from their mistakes and grow. Otherwise, they'll stay stuck in a never-ending cycle where they're unable to move forward.
4. Assuming the worst before anything bad actually happens
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Troubled people don't know how to keep a positive attitude. They may want to, but their complicated minds are in a constant state of anxiety. They always fear the worst and often have a bad habit of assuming the worst-case scenario will come true before anything happens.
It isn't helpful, but they can't snap out of it. They are stuck in a state of negativity. But instead of working on it, troubled souls view their mentality as realistic. Although it's harmful, they'd rather prepare for the worst than assume everything works out in their favor.
5. Isolating themselves when they need support the most
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Complicated thinkers who've been badly hurt don't only push people away. They actively isolate themselves when they're going through it. Instead of getting help or reaching out to loved ones, you'll find these folks locked in their rooms. It isn't healthy, and they know it. But without fail, they can't stop doing it.
Once someone develops a habit, it's hard to break it. Research from 2012 suggested that it takes an average of 10 weeks to break a habit. That's why you have to give them grace. They want to do better, but changing behavior takes time.
6. Sabotaging good things because they're terrified of losing them
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Dealing with a complicated mind that won't turn off isn't easy. They may want to connect with their loved ones, but unconsciously sabotage good things because they're terrified of losing them. That's probably why they stonewall or become argumentative. They don't mean what they say. They just don't know how to sort through their emotions.
That's why they need to learn how to take a step back. Whenever they get that inkling to go off, they should ask themselves, "Is this how I'm truly feeling? Or are my insecurities getting the better of me?"
7. Being hard on themselves whenever they make a small mistake
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Everybody makes mistakes. We might not like doing it. However, mistakes aren't as bad as perfectionists make them out to be. As the International School of Western Australia notes, "Mistakes need not threaten our sense of self or confidence. Mistakes can connect us with others. Mistakes can fuel development."
That's why someone who has been through a lot shouldn't be too hard on themselves. Mistakes are what connect us and help us grow. So, even if it's hard, find a way to break free from this habit. Your mental health will thank you.
8. Refusing to let go of resentment
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It doesn't matter how beneficial forgiveness is for our mental health and anxiety. People can scream from the rooftops that forgiveness is better than holding onto resentment, but forgiving others is a lot easier said than done when someone has developed a habit of holding onto resentment as a way of dealing with deep pain and racing thoughts.
That's probably why they're so troubled. Whether they know it or not, their souls are filled with anger and sadness. This is why it's so important for them to seek professional help. It may seem unpleasant at first, but one of the worst things someone can do is refuse to let go of the past.
9. Staying attached to people who bring out the worst in them
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Deep down inside, they know this person isn't good for them. They might not say it out loud, but troubled souls know when someone brings out the worst. Still, for one reason or another, they can't help but stay attached. Even if it's toxic, they'd rather destroy their mental health than let this person go.
That's probably why they're so anxious and depressed. People with a sensitive heart easily absorb the stress and negativity of those around them. That's why getting help is so critical. If they don't, they'll continue to become the worst version of themselves.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
