9 Socially Awkward Phrases Normal People Should Probably Avoid At All Costs
MAYA LAB | ShutterstockBeing socially awkward or easily embarrassed isn't a crime. It's not even something anyone should hold a lot of shame about, even if they have a heightened sensitivity to it.
But using certain language can make conversations less productive or make someone feel unheard and unvalued. Even if it isn't someone's intention, normal people might want to avoid socially awkward phrases at all costs.
Normal people should avoid these socially awkward phrases at all costs
1. 'You just don't look great'
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Asking someone how they're doing and being there to support them when they're very clearly not well is great. That's usually what the best friends and loved ones do for each other. They anticipate when someone else needs a shoulder when they don't look their best. But that absolutely doesn't mean pointing out that they "don't look great" or clearly "are very tired."
Not only does that add to the turmoil these people are clearly already experiencing, but it also often gives them one more thing to worry about. Instead, ask, "How can I support you right now?"
2. 'Good luck'
Even if it's meant with all the good intentions in the world, if someone uses a simple phrase like "good luck," it sometimes implies that another person needs it. They don't need to say, "I know you don't need luck, because you're perfect," but something like "You've got this" might be a better swap.
The idea of good luck can sometimes be really beneficial in our daily lives, but believing that we have some kind of bad luck only prompts anger and a lack of accountability. We can't blame everything on "luck" that's beyond our control. The direction of our lives is ours to shape.
3. 'Whatever you want'
While a socially awkward person might be trying to protect their own comfort by being "easy" with indecision and passivity, normal people should avoid phrases like "whatever you want." For someone who's prone to making decisions based only on what they want and being somewhat selfish, this kind of insecurity and awkwardness isn't great.
Most people are uncomfortable making a decision for the group because they care about the interests of everyone. It might seem counterintuitive to someone who holds their misguided humility like a shield, but expressing their interests and asking for what they want makes better social connections.
4. 'You were too good for them'
When someone gets broken up with or leaves a relationship, phrases like "you were too good for them," which are meant to be comforting and empowering, usually leave a bad taste in their mouth.
It essentially implies that when someone was in a bad relationship, they weren't respecting themselves or weren't making good choices in their partners. It shifts the blame around. They end up feeling worse about themselves, instead of empowered to get back out there.
5. 'Calm down'
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Highly emotional and stressful conflicts can be a lot to handle for someone with social anxiety or a general lack of confidence. To best resolve conflicts and look out for their health, they need some kind of security to be a good listener and express themselves in an open, vulnerable way.
They say "calm down" to comfort themselves, but most people can't tell the difference between that and someone's toxic intentions to gaslight and invalidate. That's why everyone should avoid telling someone how to deal with their emotions or to shove them away. Everyone's deserving of space to feel things how they need to, as long as they're not hurting themselves or others in the process.
6. 'No offense'
No matter how many excuses and precursors someone makes, saying something hurtful is going to hurt. Unless they're filled with the confidence to shrug off someone's insecure and awkward jabs, they're going to be upset. Trying to dismiss that pain with phrases like "no offense" or "it was just a joke" just pushes people away.
Passive-aggressiveness is common for someone with social anxiety because they don't know how to cope with the tension that comes up when they actually express their anger or aggression. That's why the average person should be intentional about practicing how they express themselves, because it doesn't do anyone favors to use a phrase like this.
7. 'Just move on'
Even if the intention isn't to gaslight and invalidate someone else, a socially awkward person trying to protect their own comfort and feelings saying "just move on" does exactly that. It invalidates someone else's space to speak and gaslights them into feeling shame for having certain feelings or emotions.
Nobody wants to hear this, even from a good friend who's only looking out for them and wishing they'd step into a new, better era of life. Nobody will move on from something just because someone else uses this phrase, but they will feel worse about themselves in conversations every time they need to bring it up.
8. 'Let me know if you need anything'
Without even realizing it, awkward people may put pressure on others to ask for help or spark up a conversation. For example, with a struggling loved one, they may use well-intentioned phrases like "let me know if you need anything" that only really place the burden on them to reach out for support.
Instead of saying, "How can I support you?" or regularly reaching out to check in, they make it someone else's problem to ask for their support, even in close relationships and friendships where it should be a given. While this is usually prompted by a need for comfort and security, it usually comes at the expense of feeling seen and supported.
9. 'You're wrong'
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There's a reason why the most intelligent people usually like challenges and hard conversations. They're mentally stimulated by differing opinions and talking to people who may not have the same perspectives as them. It's a socially awkward person's nightmare.
That's why they use "you're wrong" to push back against these people and conversations. They'd prefer to adopt rigid forms of thinking than to put themselves at risk for having to change their mind or tolerate a hard, unnecessary conversation.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
