If A Person In Your Life Shows These 7 Signs, They’re Not OK — Even If They Look Fine
Neo Rioux | PexelsDo you ever notice someone falling into a repetitive pattern of feeling off and not really knowing why? The answer to this issue is probably emotional exhaustion. Sadly, during the winter months, it’s a lot more common than you’d think. And with how busy most people's lives are, a lot of people don’t even recognize they’re struggling.
According to mental health researchers, people who are struggling often become experts at masking their true emotions, putting on a brave face while quietly falling apart on the inside. The people in your life who seem like they have it all together might be the ones who need you the most right now.
Here are the seven signs someone is not doing OK, even if they look fine:
1. They're uber-sensitive to every little thing
While they may not be overreacting to things, they might get upset a bit more than usual. Words hurt a little more; they overthink a tad more than normal, and it takes longer to get over what has happened in the past. In addition to being sensitive, they may become more emotional throughout the day over the things that happen.
Researchers at Dartmouth found that when people are mentally and emotionally depleted, their brains literally loses its ability to keep emotional responses in check, making them way more reactive to negative experiences. So, if someone in your life is snapping over something small or tearing up out of nowhere, they're likely running on empty.
2. Their emotions consume them
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This may be one of the more noticeable signs of emotional exhaustion because almost every person experiences this at least once in their lives. Over time something minor affects them in such a big way that it normally wouldn’t.
It’s not the small inconvenience that’s the problem; it’s just the tipping point of the snowball, and with every problem, it only derails us for the foreseeable future. Or at least that’s how it feels.
3. They're expressing too much or not enough emotion
Their responses are extreme; they're either one way or the other. And neither emotion is consistent. Whether they start shutting down and becoming a barely functioning, emotionless zombie or a hysterically crying mess, they avoid processing your emotions in real-time. At the moment, it’s extremely difficult to process extreme emotions until they’re ready to work on them.
4. They start pulling away out of fear that they will reach their breaking point
It’s like they know something is going to happen if they’re pushed to their breaking point, and they fear what will happen if they let it all loose. It’s as if they’re aware of the lack of emotional control they have, but still know they're ready to break. It's hard to control a “trigger,” so, instead, they back away from everything in hopes of preventing it.
5. They feel defeated and hopeless
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Everything may feel like a “make or break it” type of deal. While their perspective may seem overly pressured for time or overly focused on a timeline that may not be there, they also feel a sense of great sadness when they don’t achieve that goal.
That feeling of hopelessness may be overwhelming, but their future isn’t as dim as they make it out to be. Psychologists use the term "learned helplessness" to describe what happens when people are overwhelmed for so long that they stop believing anything they do will make a difference.
6. They're struggling to find the will to move forward
Similar to feeling hopeless, they may also find it challenging to picture how to move on in life. Mentally, they could be trying to tackle huge questions they don’t have answers for.
I’ve struggled with this a lot, and it’s debilitating. It’s as though if one more person asks you a question about your future or options that have been presented to you, you’re going to burst into a screaming match because it’s just so much to think about and makes you anxious.
7. They're ready for a change, but don't know what to do to achieve it
It’s a frustrating feeling, to feel so low, but at the same time, feel ready for something transformative to happen. Deep down, they know things haven’t been good and are ready for change. They just don’t know how to get there or what to do to kick-start the process, and knowing that can be equally as debilitating as moving forward.
As challenging as it is to deal with, there are ways to slowly start working past things. Taking some time alone can help. Processing emotions in real-time, acknowledging true feelings, and reflecting on how to properly respond to scenarios as they happen are skills that should be practiced.
We can all control our safe place. Even journaling can help a ton! Just remember, we cannot live our lives feeling like emotional, chaotic messes all the time. Creating order and checking in with ourselves can start to lift the fog.
Brittany Christopoulos is a writer, journalist, and fill-in TV co-host. She's a Senior Writer and Head of Trending News for Unwritten. Follow her on Twitter.
