People Who Weren’t Raised By Classy Parents Often Use These 8 Crass Phrases
michaelheim | ShutterstockWhen class and tact weren’t taught at home, language can reflect a childhood that lacked basic courtesy. What we choose to say to others and how we speak often reveal the environment we grew up in and remind us that behind every crude word choice are parents who either modeled respect and consideration or failed to teach it at all.
People who weren’t raised by classy parents often use these crass phrases:
1. 'Why should I say thank you? It's your job'
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When someone says this to a server or at work, it offers a window into an upbringing where gratitude likely wasn’t taught, and kindness was probably seen as a weakness. In homes where survival came before sensitivity and you either got along or were pushed out, children quickly learn that showing vulnerability is a liability.
While this tough exterior might seem like strength, it's often a defense mechanism meant to protect themselves from scrutiny. Research has shown that poor treatment of someone people deem beneath them is frequently rooted in a social status imbalance that favors one party over another, reinforcing a hierarchy that enables hostility and abuse.
2. 'I say what I think, I don't sugarcoat'
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People who say this phrase mean what they say, which isn't necessarily a bad thing unless it comes across as abrasive and overly blunt. There’s no sugarcoating and no filters, just the raw and straight-up truth.
Some might call them rude, but they consider themselves real. They’re not out here trying to win popularity contests or tiptoe around anyone’s fragile ego. If something needs to be said, they’ll say it. Rather than being taught to smile through gritted teeth, they were raised to speak up and stand firm.
3. 'I don't owe anyone anything'
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Growing up, people who say this were taught that the world doesn’t owe anyone anything, and that mindset stuck with them. They aren’t here to please anybody, and they don't care what people think. They believe life is too short to worry about others' expectations. When something goes wrong, they just say, 'Figure it out yourself,' because that's how they were raised.
"Some parents can make their children feel almost guilty for growing up," says philosophy professor Iskra Fileva, Ph.D. The older they get, the more they realize that their life is theirs to live and they’re not obligated to live up to anyone else’s standards.
4. 'People are too sensitive these days'
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In today's world, it often feels like everyone is too sensitive. People get offended by the smallest things, and it's like you can't say anything anymore without someone freaking out. People who say things like this weren't raised by parents who valued emotional intelligence. Instead, they grew up seeing sensitivity as a flaw.
"High sensitivity is a genetic trait, not a mental health diagnosis," says psychologist Mary Kate Roohan, Psy.D. But how that sensitivity is shaped and responded to in childhood can have a profound impact. Being raised without warmth or grace doesn't make people stronger; it makes them guarded.
5. 'I don't care what people think'
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People who don't care what others think often come from homes where appearances weren't a priority and social etiquette wasn't taught or valued. As adults, that shows up in how they operate because they didn't have parents who helped them navigate social situations with class and sensitivity.
"It's not possible, or necessary, to care about everything. But not caring about critical things can put someone on a slippery slope to immoral behavior," says philosophy professor Peg O'Connor, Ph.D. Without guidance in understanding how to balance authenticity with empathy, they might overlook the importance of kindness and respect.
6. 'Why would I dress up? It's just dinner'
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People like this weren't raised with an emphasis on social decorum or keeping up with appearances. At home, they never focused on dressing for the occasion. To them, appearances are secondary.
However, dressing nicely can show others you care enough to go the extra mile. Research shows that what you wear can influence your behavior. In a process called enclothed cognition, wearing a lab coat improved the wearer's mental health and productivity. Another example is dressing for work even when you work from home, which can trick your mind into being more productive.
7. 'That's not my problem'
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People who say this phrase weren't taught the value of stepping in to help others or the importance of considering how their actions affect those around them. Instead, they learned to focus solely on themselves, thinking that anything outside of their immediate concern didn’t warrant their attention.
Minding one’s own business isn't inherently bad, especially when it feels like others have been taking advantage of you. Protecting your own space and focusing on your own needs can be a healthy response to feeling overwhelmed or exploited.
However, as Jennifer L. Keluskar, Ph.D., states, "Not caring about others is a flaw in society, but too much of the opposite can also be a problem." When people are raised without a balance of empathy and responsibility, they may adopt a mindset of detachment that can become a slippery slope.
8. 'They should just get over it'
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Parents who didn’t emphasize emotional awareness and kindness at home also never taught their children that their behaviors have consequences. For instance, after a relationship, someone might dismiss their ex’s feelings and make fun of them because they have not gotten over the relationship. This shows a lack of understanding that emotional healing takes time and that the breakup affected the other person differently.
When people weren't raised by classy parents, they may not have learned the importance of considering others or showing empathy. Instead of asking how the other person is feeling, they focus on and hold onto how they think that person should handle things.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author who has over a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She writes about self-help, relationships, culture, and human-interest topics.
