The Most Unbothered People You Know Casually Do 8 Things Without Breaking A Sweat
vkstudio | CanvaI had a great childhood, but I was quick to anger and would often throw tantrums. This reactivity manifested as fidgety overthinking and anxiety later in life. It took years for me to see the connection between being overly reactive and quick to judge, and the distress I’d feel as a result.
I spent many years with a goal to live an unbothered life as often as I can. I studied calm, unbothered people. I learned about Zen, spirituality, and Eastern wisdom. I practiced in public. Over time, I incorporated a sense of unbothered-ness into my everyday life, and I’m not talking about a stoned, passive calm — rather an experience of living with more ease and peace.
The things unbothered people casually do without breaking a sweat:
1. They move their bodies
At least a daily 20-minute walk or the exercise equivalent. There must be movement. Like caged animals, humans do not fare well when we are sedentary for too long. This includes self-imposed immobility that comes from rarely leaving the comforts of one’s living room.
2. They shift their gears into neutral
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When we slow down our movements and even how we talk physically, which we are all capable of doing, it’s like moving down a gear or two to match the speed of the present moment. Agitated people are often a gear or two too fast, and as such, life comes at them very quickly, and they have to do more to process everything.
3. Unbothered people don't stray too far from nature
John Muir, the naturalist, once said: “I only went out for a walk, and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.” He was hinting at the power of nature to remind us to be conscious and to remember that we are one with it.
Sometimes a walk in a forest is all it takes to get us out of our heads and into our bodies again. Unbothered people continually nurture their bond with nature.
4. They don’t take things personally
Unbothered people, whether they are aware of it consciously or not, regard their sense of self loosely. Insecure (and therefore often very wound-up) people have a vivid sense of who they think they are. They believe they need to defend the idea of who they are, and are easily triggered by criticism or anything that looks like an attack, which it rarely is. Unbothered people see things for what they are and don’t make everything about them.
5. They use practical spirituality
A lot of people associate ‘spirituality’ with a kind of blind idealism used by unrealistic, woo-woo hippy types, who enjoy dressing in loose clothing. Calm people have a sense of the forces existing beyond the material world.
They know, for example, when we are calm, creative insights come to our aid, guiding us along through life. They are intentional about being open to this supply of energy and wisdom that stressed people are not.
6. Unbothered people listen to their bodies
A. C. / Unsplash+
Not everyone responds the same way to external stimuli and certain food types, for example. Being a highly sensitive person (HSP), I can find stimulation overwhelming in high doses. Through my understanding of how I respond to things like caffeine, sugar, and noisy environments, I’ve developed an awareness of what works for me.
I know I drink too much caffeine, for example, and it can make me more anxious than needed, but it’s a choice I’ve made. This will vary for all, so there is only so much expert advice one can give on this. You know your body and how you feel. If something repeatedly makes you anxious, decrease it, simple as that.
7. They have an internal locus of control
Unbothered people understand that thoughts, not circumstances, are the source of any stress or tension felt. When we can see the mind for what it is and what it does, we can be free.
How? Because if we know our emotions are internally generated from thoughts, we are aware of our power to navigate life with a sense of ease, regardless of the circumstances. We then become the creators, not the victims.
8. Unbothered people choose calm
Living life calmly isn’t always possible. Sometimes we need to be assertive and alert to rapidly changing situations. But for the most part, being unbothered isn’t a passive act; it's intentional. Unbothered people regularly commit and re-commit to a calm life.
They rearrange their environments to maximize calm. They exert boundaries in their relationships to minimize stress. They choose to act with a grace that sets in motion a positive feedback loop of wellness. When in doubt, they choose not to let things get to them. They choose to live an unbothered life.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
