Parents Who Raise Lazy Kids Often Hear 8 Entitled Phrases Long After They're Grown
Iren_Geo | ShutterstockParents have to learn to cope with their children’s discomfort, because this is where they grow. Kids learn to trust themselves by having adventures out in the world and solving problems.
When parents try to solve every problem they create an atmosphere where entitlement thrives, even when they have the best intentions. While it might feel easier to help them avoid all challenges, this can create lazy kids who say entitled things as adults.
8 phrases parents who raise entitled kids often hear even after their kids are grown up:
1. ‘I never asked to be born’
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You’ll hear a phrase like “I never asked to be born” all the time from spoiled adult kids who need their parents to do something for them. Whether it’s financial help or a chore at home they’d rather not work up the energy to complete, they blame their parents for their own personal discomfort.
Often this comes up with the parent levels even the most thoughtful critique to their child. Instead of taking it on board (even if they're offended or annoyed), they blame the parent for even choosing to give birth to them.
Even after they’ve grown up, they still feed into this immature, self-centered mentality. They don’t believe they have control over the direction of their own life, because they spent their most impressionable years relying on someone else for convenience, ease, and comfort.
2. ‘That’s your job as a parent’
Parents create spoiled adult children by avoiding boundaries, teaching moments, and discomfort. They try to make their kids’ lives as easy as possible, but end up sabotaging their discipline, accountability, and maturity in the process. Do they expect this to happen? Absolutely not. But their discomfort with their child's healthy struggles gets in the way of great parenting.
That’s why these adult kids tend to believe their parents have a lifelong obligation to serve their needs and solve their problems. They were never equipped with the skills to handle challenges and learn from mistakes on their own, so, of course, they still believe that’s their parents' job. Next thing these parents know, their own kids are guilt-tripping them into doing things these grown adults should be doing for themselves.
3. ‘I don’t know how’
Secure adults learn to seek out discomfort to grow and handle mistakes later in life because their parents cultivated a growth mentality. They were offered space to challenge themselves and figure things out without immediately being saved by a parent trying to make them comfortable.
However, kids who become entitled and even lazy were met with every convenience. Their parents talked to their teachers for them, stepped in when they made a mistake to fix it, and took away chores they didn’t want to do. They made their lives easy, and while many parents in this situation are well-intentioned, it creates incapable adults who think saying “I don’t know how to do this” is an excuse to avoid it.
4. ‘You’re better at it than I am’
Lazy kids are experts at weaponizing their own incompetence, because they know that saying phrases like “you’re better at it than I am” is usually met with comfort and ease. They’ve always had parents who step in when they don’t want to do something, which reinforces their desire to use these phrases over and over again at their own expense.
If something is uncomfortable or challenges them, they’re now socialized into turning a blind eye and shifting responsibility onto someone else. Even after they’re grown up and expected to step into a more responsible adult identity, they still rely completely on their parents to do all the dirty work they’re too self-centered and emotionally dysregulated to handle on their own.
5. ‘Why are you doing this to me?’
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The most entitled people live in an ever-evolving cycle of disappointment and unmet expectations, and it's exhausting for everyone who loves them. For them, it can be incredibly distressing, too.
They don’t take responsibility for their own lives because they expect everyone else to make their lives easy and comfortable, whether it’s conscious or not. As a result, these adult children are only comfortable being the victim, even when their discomfort and unhappiness are directly rooted in their own action or inaction.
Often, they need to find someone to blame, and in situations where their parents always solved their problems for them, it’s usually directed towards them with attacking phrases like this.
6. ‘What else do you have going on?’
When kids are young, it's developmentally normal for them to see their parents as just one thing: my mom or dad. It's self-centered, yes, but it's not selfish, as it's just part of being a little kids. As they get older, their world expands and they see that their parent is also someone who has friends, goes to work, and has feelings and experiences that have nothing to dow ith their kids.
Traditionally, it often takes experiencing adulthood on their own for kids to learn that their parents are people, too. It seems surprising that most adult children don’t have this realization until they’re around 21 years old, but when you move out or start your adult life, it brings new lessons and perspectives.
However, for spoiled children who learn to use their parents for their own gain and develop an entitled attitude about everyone, their empathy suffers. They rarely acknowledge the humanity of their parents' existence, because they’re so focused on obligations and what they have to gain from them.
They overstep boundaries, use critical questions like this when they’re told “no,” and rarely give grace when they’re expected to handle things on their own.
7. ‘Just tell me what to do and how to do it’
Parents have to teach their kids how to “sink or swim” at some point, metaphorically. Usually, great parents allow their kids to challenge themselves and face natural consequences in childhood, with a safe space to ask for help and learn from mistakes. However, many lazy kids grow into entitled adults who still expect their parents to figure out their problems for them.
“Tell me what to do” is a constant from these adult kids, feeling like an obligation they expect their parents to drop everything for. Instead of taking responsibility for figuring out what should happen next and how to do it (at the very least!).
8. ‘You’re being so selfish’
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Many of these kids lack self-awareness because they’ve never had to go inward, evolve as a person, or face their own mistakes. Their parents protected them from the discomfort of growing their own emotional intelligence. So, it’s no surprise that they’re quick to call someone else selfish, because they don’t realize just how self-centered and entitled they are themselves.
They expect constant access to everyone’s lives and to be helped without having to wait, especially from their parents who spoiled them for their entire lives.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
