After Years As A Frequent Flyer, I Realized Most People Board Planes All Wrong

When they welcome you aboard, flight attendants aren’t just saying hello. They’re checking you out. They’ve been trained to notice all kinds of things about you.

Are you likely to be a troublemaker? Could you be useful in an emergency? Are you already drunk? Do you smell so bad that your fellow passengers will complain about you? Are you likely to require more room than your economy seat will give you? Is the infant in your arms going to holler all the way across the country?

Evaluating just what kind of flyer you’re going to be is part of their job. So is giving you a friendly welcome to their workplace. Guess what? It’s a drag when they greet you with a smile and a cheery “Welcome aboard!” and you either ignore them or make a hostile remark.

Apparently, this happens a lot. The appropriate response to “Welcome!” is not “We’d better get to Cincinnati in time for me to make my connection.” At a bare minimum, if somebody smiles and says hello, you should respond in kind. Return their smile. Make eye contact. Say hello.

After years as a frequent flyer, I realize most people board planes all wrong

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When boarding a plane, a friendly gesture and a hello go a long way toward a pleasant flying experience

And that’s just the bare minimum. As far as I’m concerned, the only appropriate way to respond to a flight attendant welcoming you on board is to smile, say “thank you for everything you do,” hand them a gift bag of candy, and tell them, "This is for the flight crew.”

I usually go with Tootsie Rolls, although if I’m on vacation, I might seek out a candy store to look for something special before heading to the airport. On a recent visit to Newport Beach, California, I picked up a bag of saltwater taffy, a local specialty.

But if you’d rather not spend your vacation shopping for just the right candy to give to the crew on the plane home, you can always buy good candy in the airport. A bag of Lindor chocolates will do the trick.

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Keep in mind that for safety reasons, the flight crew can’t eat homemade treats or unwrapped candy

I usually include a small card that says, “For the flight crew — thanks for everything you do from Roz in seat 28A.” Some people give treats to flight attendants in the hope that they’ll get a treat themselves — like a free drink or even a seat upgrade.

That’s not what motivates me. I don’t drink, and I always book my flights far enough in advance to get the seat I want.

I do it because I used to work with the public myself, and I know just how challenging it is. I fly a lot, and I’ve seen enough airplane goings-on to really appreciate what flight attendants go through every day to keep flyers safe and happy. Also? It’s fun. 

When you hand the flight attendant a little bag of Tootsie Rolls and say, “This is for the crew,” their face will light up. They’ll say thanks. They’ll look like you’ve just made their day. And maybe you have. Making another person happy is a great way to begin any journey.

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Roz Warren writes for everyone from The New York Times to The Funny Times and has been featured on both The Today Show and Morning Edition. Roz is also a writing coach who works with writers one-on-one to improve their work.