Working Retail Taught Me 8 Very Accurate Things About How People Really Behave
TommL | Canva“Call your manager, NOW!” the lady screamed at me. I was a newly promoted manager at a large grocery store chain and had never encountered anything quite this aggressive before. I was 19.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, he’s off today,” I calmly told her from behind the customer service booth.
“I DON’T CARE!” She was losing the plot.
The store had a new policy: “Fresh or Free.” The idea was that if your grandma got home with her milk and noticed it was out of date, or that, while in date, it smelled sour, she could bring it back to exchange it and still get a full refund for the inconvenience. Sounds easy.
But even back then, in the late 1980s, scammers figured out how to scam: They’d walk the aisles with two carts: one full of expired goods they’d dug from the back of the shelves, and one with items with current dates. Now, before you go off on expired goods, rotating goods is the goal, but when the stock crew is pushed to a time limit to throw a truck and get off the sales floor before 7 am, things get missed.
One party would take the cart of expired goods and check out; the other would hang back, then reveal all the dates, and the store would have to oblige. Refund the full amount and give them a free replacement.
This crazy woman was doing this with bunches of fresh flowers. “Fresh or Free” didn’t last long. This is just one of many bizarre things I witnessed while working retail. I’ve spent a decent amount of time in grocery, clothing, and home goods, so I’ve seen it all. Let’s cover some of the good ones.
Working retail taught me a few scary things about how people really behave:
1. People are often lazy
When you pick up an item at the store, then decide you don’t want it, what do you do? The right thing to do is to put it back, but the wrong thing to do, which, as 90% of you do, is to ditch it wherever.
Some will say, “That’s the staff's job,” and yeah, it is, but not because you can’t be bothered to put the sirloin steak back that you decided you can’t afford instead of hiding it behind a box of Lucky Charms. This, my friends, is another reason grocery prices will keep going up. The technical term is Loss Prevention; the human term is: Ya’ll are lazy.
2. People are often gross
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Dressing rooms. Oh. My. Gosh. You’d think the rapture came and all of the righteous vaporized at the second coming of Jesus, the way ya’ll leave a dressing room.
Nothing put on a hanger, clothes strewn all over the floor, some looking like you used them as a sweat rag — and for the love of all that’s holy, can’t you try on black shirts more carefully without dragging them all over your Powder Fresh armpits? Again, costs rise for a reason, and it’s not just all about diesel fuel.
3. People are often rude
When you’re checking out, hang up. Period. You’re not that important that you can’t give the cashier five whole minutes of undivided attention.
4. People are often entitled
Back when Oprah was relevant, she had some episode about shopping and announced something like, “The customer is always right, and if you don’t get what you want, ask for a manager.” The struggle became real. Karen’s from all over the country started asking for supervisors and “not taking no” for an answer.
At one job, we literally had to meet to make sure we all stood our ground on company policy. No, we're not giving you the display model.
5. People often steal
I mean everyone. I’ve seen honor students steal Nintendo games, a woman in a business suit put a rib-eye up her skirt, and the homecoming queen do bogus cash returns. No one is exempt from the struggle.
6. People are often tolerant
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If I learned one thing working all these years with the public, it’s that you have to be tolerant, patient, and kind. Even when I encountered oddballs and scammers, I had to remember that I don’t know someone else's situation, and neither do you.
Susan might not be wacky all the time, but she might have just been told she was losing her job, or that her husband was leaving her. We all have our issues, and we can’t take it all personally, especially not in today’s anxiety-filled world.
7. People are narcissistic
Ah, the bridal registry. Humans walk around a store with a registry gun, aiming and shooting at items they think they want given to them for their nuptials. They half-heartedly choose items, most of which they will never use, so someone else can come in and begrudgingly pick between the $300 cold meat fork and the $10 ice tongs, since those are the only two items left on the list.
On the flip side, someone might print the list, all eight pages, and decide to get the lucky couple some other horrendous item that isn’t on the list because they like it better.
8. Everyone should work in retail or service once in their life
Everyone. If you want a well-rounded life experience, serve another stranger in some capacity. Serve them food, sell them a product, or provide them with a service. If nothing else, it will humble you and make you a better customer.
While I’ve encountered hundreds of the above-mentioned weirdos, a much higher percentage of humans are friendly, kind, and actually want your help. I’ve had great experiences with one-time customers and even better experiences with repeat customers. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have worked the jobs I had for decades at a time.
Kristen Crisp is the founder of Not Even Wine With Dinner. A community/mission for those looking for peer support with sobriety, self-esteem, mental health, aging, and all the things that come with being human. She also writes frequently on Medium under the handle @notevenwinewithdinner.
