Truly Rare Dialectical Thinkers Usually Say 8 Phrases In Casual Conversation
PeopleImages / ShutterstockMost people know that just because someone is smart, that doesn't necessarily mean they're wise. People with true wisdom don't care if anyone else thinks they're smart. They're just trying to understand the world in all of its complexity.
Because we live in such a polarized world, it can be really difficult for many people to find genuine wisdom, because doing so means you have to be willing to fully explore and consider multiple issues that may seem to contradict each other. This kind of reasoning, known as dialectical thinking, means a willingness to acknowledge that two seemingly contradictory truths can exist and be valid at the same time. When someone has the rare ability to do this, they will often say things during casual conversations that pay tribute to their ability to see past rigid definitions of black and white.
People who are truly rare dialectical thinkers usually use these phrases in casual conversation
1. "Have you considered this?"
Someone who is a dialectical thinker usually enjoys deep discussions because they allow them to hear other people's perspectives. Complex topics have a way of making people confront different beliefs and ways of thinking than those they are usually comfortable with.
While taking in other people's perspectives is the priority for them, they don't shy away from sharing their opinion either. They add their voice to tough conversations because they know all perspectives are important if you want to understand the full picture. By sharing their ideas as a question, they show they're good at having respectful disagreements, politely asking others to consider new ways of thinking and then allowing them to choose if they want to or not.
2. "I would love to hear your thoughts."
Karola G from Pexels via Canva
Dialectical thinkers have a good grasp on how the world works. They know information doesn't just come to you, so they choose to seek it out for themselves. They are genuinely interested in hearing opinions and perspectives from others. They'll actively try to get their friends to express their thoughts so they'll have more to consider.
If they have a topic they're interested in at the moment, they'll bring it up to their friends and say, "I would love to hear your thoughts." This shows they're open-minded because they're not passively accepting their own opinions as fact. They're trying to take in new ideas for a purpose, or else they wouldn't ask for them. Searching for new ideas is a great way for them to avoid getting stuck in their own biases.
3. "Yes, and… "
This phrase might seem like it would be used if a dialectical thinker is agreeing with someone, but thinking this way is rarely about agreeing or disagreeing. It's simply about taking in someone else's perspective.
The important thing to note here is the and. This preposition serves to connect ideas from the differing perspectives in a discussion. It lets them look at the idea in a nuanced way and replaces the preposition that is more commonly used in conversations about people's opinions: but.
If someone says "Yes, but...," you immediately know they're about to discredit your opinion. They'll probably follow that phrase by debunking your opinion and highlighting where it's wrong. Saying "Yes, and...," helps prevent them from rejecting someone else's thoughts and making them feel defensive in the process.
4. “On one hand…, but on the other...”
People who love to consider multiple perspectives try to balance the opinions they hear. They don't hold one person's thoughts higher than someone else's. Instead, they consider each perspective as equally important and valid. They'll show this by using the phrase "On one hand..., but on the other...," to reflect that they really do respect both perspectives.
They also know most topics can be viewed from a number of different approaches. They can accept both sides as true rather than forming a distinct conclusion about which is right because they know things are rarely black and white and prefer to live in a kind of grey space. Accepting that two truths can co-exist is a really hard mindset for many people, which makes dialectical thinkers truly exceptional.
5. “It depends on how you look at it.”
romanbabakin via Canva
Dialectical thinkers look at the world differently. They see the big picture rather than the small ones. They know focusing on a singular opinion doesn't show them the complexity of the perspectives people can have on a topic.
But as I said before, being a dialectical thinker isn't easy, and not everyone can do it. If someone doesn't understand how they view the world, a dialectical thinker will tell them, "It just depends on how you look at it." Rather than defending their worldview and their prioritization of the big picture, they'll just use this phrase to avoid conflict.
This could also be their way of helping their friends become dialectic thinkers too. They're reminding them that there are different ways to look at things. It's almost a slight suggestion that they should try to see the world from a different view. If they're trying to get their friend to be a dialectical thinker, they're probably avoiding an argument to encourage them to keep engaging in deeper discussions with them.
6. "It’s not that simple."
The only perspective dialectical thinkers probably don't appreciate is a simple one. They don't like things that are rigidly divided into black and white. That divide stops perspectives from meeting in the middle. It also stops someone from accepting both opinions and can make them pretty close-minded.
If their friends refuse to engage in the ideas they bring up on a deeper level or can't accept other people's opinions, dialectic thinkers will tell them, "It's not that simple." This is their way of telling them they don't understand the complexity behind the idea or aren't taking it into consideration.
7. "That’s a good point!"
One of the most important qualities in an open-minded thinker is being a good listener. They actively listen to other people's thoughts and encourage their friends to keep sharing their opinion by saying "That's a good point."
Doing this is a form of positive reinforcement, a tactic that helps get people to do what you want them to do. When you make someone feel good about themselves, they're usually more inclined to repeat their behavior. By using this kind of reinforcement, they get their friends to keep engaging in deeper conversations.
8. “I think what they’re trying to say is…”
Monkey Business Images via Canva
People who can handle contradictions tend to be more empathetic. The care they have for others allows them to consider and respect a variety of beliefs. Not everyone can do that, though. Some people can't help but belittle ideas that contradict their own. They don't have the open-mindedness that dialectical thinkers have, which allows them to stay calm in conversations.
If these kinds of people get upset, dialectical thinkers will often try to mediate the argumentby saying, "I think what they're trying to say is..." They're basically repackaging someone's words to make them sound less contentious in an effort to keep their conversations peaceful so they can continue to hear their friends' perspectives.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
