Women Who Don’t Feel A Need To Prove Themselves To Anyone Do 10 Things Differently From The Rest
Alex Goncharov / ShutterstockSome people have certain personality traits that make them feel more confident than others. Anyone can work to develop those traits more, but it’s also very much a matter of luck.
It can be especially helpful for women to have this higher level of confidence since the world constantly tries to put them down and make them feel inferior. Despite being treated this way, some women have been able to let go of the need to prove themselves and feel so much freer as a result.
Women do these 10 things differently when they don’t feel a need to prove themselves
1. They don’t have to know all the answers
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Many people fall into the trap of always wanting to be right, but women who don't feel a need to prove themselves to anyone don’t feel that way. They know that knowledge is powerful, but they don’t think that it makes them look bad if they don’t know something either.
No one can possibly know everything, but it’s hard for high achievers to accept that when people look to them as an example. The best leaders know that there’s nothing wrong with showing their humility and admitting their shortcomings, which is why women like this come across as so magnetic.
2. They want to be real even if that’s not likable
These days, it almost feels like people expect others to be fake. Everyone curates their social media feeds as perfectly and aesthetically as possible, and they rarely share the totally normal challenges that increase likes and followers.
Some women are fighting against this high-pressure culture, though. They want to be themselves as much as they possibly can, and they don’t care if some people think that makes them harder to like. The right people will connect with them even more deeply because of it, so they’re willing to take that risk.
3. They don’t explain their boundaries
Boundaries have turned into some kind of trendy therapy speak, but most of us were probably putting them in place well before there were so many books and articles devoted to the subject. They’re the best way to show others what you expect from a relationship and what you’re not comfortable with, so they’ve always been important.
Some people feel bad about setting boundaries, though, and they try to apologize for doing so by explaining why they have those rules. But the truth is that the personal experiences that led someone to set a certain boundary aren’t anyone else’s business, and women who aren’t trying to prove themselves don’t launch into lengthy explanations to try to defend themselves.
4. They don’t make everything a competition
Few things are as annoying as talking to someone who feels the need to one-up everyone else. No matter how big your accomplishment is or how interesting your story is, they have to come out on top by proving they’ve done something even better.
People who make everything an unnecessary competition like this usually have deep-seated insecurities they need to deal with, so it makes sense that strong women who believe in themselves wouldn’t have a problem with this. They cheer others on and listen to the fun things they’ve experienced without trying to prove they’ve done something bigger, even if they actually have.
5. They aren’t afraid to ask questions
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People are more interested in the idea of being a lifelong learner than ever before, which is understandable. There are many resources out there that make it easier to do this now, and it can really pay off both personally and professionally. The thing about learning is that you have to ask questions, though.
Some folks really don’t like to do that because they think it shows the gaps in their knowledge. Secure women know that’s not true. Instead, it actually makes others think even more highly of them because they’re openly curious.
6. They don’t pay much attention to what others think
According to neuroscientist Daniel Glaser, it’s human nature to wonder what other people think because there’s no way to read their minds and know for sure. But, he added, “The trick isn’t to not care what others think, but to care about the right people.”
This means that anyone who goes out of their way to be judgmental or unsupportive isn’t worth your time. These women have already learned how essential it is to strengthen their relationships with people who are truly there for them and to leave behind those who make them feel inadequate.
7. They don’t spend too much time defending themselves
A lot of people feel like they need to back all of their decisions up with some kind of defense. Whether they’re changing their college major or their weekend plans, they make it a point to justify their choices in any way that they can think of.
Some folks do this without even really thinking about it because they want to counter any criticism they might receive before it happens, but that’s more common among people with insecurities. Women who don’t feel like they need to prove themselves simply make the decisions that are right for them and don’t waste time trying to get others on the same page.
8. They build other women up
It’s become pretty typical for women to be jealous of each other for no real reason. One woman might get a promotion at work, and other women who aren’t even in the same industry will feel a pang of envy because they think her success takes away from their own, even though it’s totally unrelated.
It’s not surprising that research has shown that social exclusion hits women harder than men, so they try to leave others out as a way to avoid going through that themselves. But this doesn’t help anyone, and confident women know that. They celebrate others’ accomplishments and cheer them on because they know there’s enough room for everyone.
9. They let their views change when it’s appropriate
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A woman who’s always trying to learn more and is well aware of the fact that she doesn’t know everything will naturally be open to changing her mind when it’s clear that she was wrong. Some people hold on tightly to their viewpoint and refuse to consider other perspectives, but these women don’t feel intimidated by that.
People who are open-minded like this are usually more empathetic and humble as well, and they have more positive interactions with others in general, so being able to change your mind and acknowledge that you’ve been wrong is definitely a good thing.
10. They don’t worry about people underestimating them
It’s normal to feel annoyed when someone clearly thinks you’re less capable than you actually are, but women who aren’t trying to prove themselves don’t let this get under their skin. It’s often said that the best thing to do when someone underestimates you is to prove them wrong, but that puts pressure back on you when it isn’t even your problem to begin with.
Katia Beauchamp, the co-founder of Birchbox, was seriously underestimated when she first started out, but she came to see that as a good thing. “I think the incredible thing about being underestimated … it’s a huge blessing,” she said. “It teaches you to work insanely hard, and it teaches you to pitch to people who doubt you.”
No one can automatically make someone else think better of them, and these women know there’s more value in continuing to succeed than in pausing their momentum to get others to see how incredible they are.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
