Truly Happy People Have Already Stopped Paying Attention To 9 Things At This Point In Their Lives
Dean Drobot | ShutterstockTruly happy people understand the world in a different way and stop chasing what they think will bring them joy. Really, they just stop paying attention to what they're told will make them happy and focus instead on what truly does.
When someone is genuinely happy, it’s easier for them to see the good in the world around them. They know that they have what they have because they worked for it. They don’t get jealous of others or care about their opinions. They find their strength within, giving them true peace when some are stuck trying to impress everyone around them rather than working on their own happiness.
People who are genuinely happy have stopped paying attention to these things:
1. What other people think
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We’ve all experienced judgment from those around us. Whether it was close friends or strangers online, it cuts deep. People who are easily hurt by these words may feel they’ll never be good enough. What others think can be the driving force for how they act, which can strip them of their happiness.
Truly happy people don’t worry about other people’s thoughts. Though it’s easier said than done, happier people move forward and focus on how they make themselves feel. They don’t need others' approval to feel good about themselves.
2. Comparing their lives to others
We’ve all heard the phrase "comparison is the thief of joy." Even if it sounds cheesy, it’s true. Comparisons can hurt our self-esteem. Instead of seeing ourselves as the successful and important people we are, we focus on what others have instead. Being truly happy means letting go of this mindset and putting yourself first.
Appreciating what you have isn’t easy when you notice what others have that you don’t. This is something that often gets me down. Whether it’s comparing how I look or where I’m at in life to someone else, it steals my joy. Truly happy people have let go of the pressure they feel to compete with others and instead celebrate themselves.
There is a lot of pressure in keeping up with the Joneses. Those who have truly embraced happiness know that by doing so, they are only bringing themselves down.
3. Pleasing others at their own expense
I’m a people pleaser. I want to make everyone around me happy before I focus on myself, even if that means giving myself the short end of the stick. Whether it’s wanting to live up to their expectations or avoiding embarrassing myself in front of them, I am often focused on what other people think. It’s made my life more difficult without a doubt.
Truly happy people see things differently. They can let go of the need to please everyone around them. It gives them a sense of freedom that those of us who are concerned with pleasing everyone around us don’t have. To protect their happiness, they have to put themselves first when it matters most.
4. Past mistakes
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It’s not easy to forgive ourselves. While we all make mistakes, coming to terms with them can feel impossible at times. Knowing we did something that hurt someone else, or ruined our chances at something, can hold us back from reaching true happiness. Happy people know that to move forward in life, they have to forgive themselves.
You can’t improve if you don’t accept your mistakes and work towards making better decisions in the future. When someone is truly happy, they’ve let go of the guilt they hold. Guilt can rob us of joy in the good things we do. A happy person has stopped giving in to their mistakes and instead focused on their future.
5. Other people's beauty standards
Society puts pressure on us to look a certain way. The media sells us images of celebrities they deem perfect, and it causes others to do whatever it takes to look like that. This can cause serious issues, especially for women. When you’re caught up in your appearance above all else, it can drain you of your happiness. Most beauty standards are unattainable for the average person, and a truly happy person has learned that along their way.
Many people put too much pressure on themselves to look a certain way. When their self-esteem is directly connected to their image, it can make them self-conscious. They might be afraid to put themselves out there for fear of being judged for their looks.
Happy people let go of this mindset long ago. They know their looks don’t determine their worth. Instead, they focus on what they can control.
6. Trying to please toxic people
Toxic people have a way of entering your life and throwing it upside down. I’ve been involved with several of these people, and every time, they leave me feeling drained and unhappy. Negative energy can bring anyone down. When you let someone like this control your happiness, they have the upper hand. They will continue to treat you poorly because you give them the ability to.
People who took back their happiness from the toxic forces around them learned this lesson quickly. They stopped interacting with people who only bring them down.
You can’t pour from an empty cup, and truly happy people learned they were being left dry by the toxicity in their lives. Instead of dwelling on it, they took the steps needed to prioritize their mental health. Toxic people and ideology were left at the door.
7. Hustling to prove themselves
Hustle culture is something many people have gotten caught up in. They think taking a break is a waste of time. Instead, they should spend every minute doing the most they can to maximize their output. Time is money, and time spent taking care of themselves won’t translate into a dollar amount. They push themselves past their breaking point, which can drain them of their happiness.
This can be detrimental to someone’s mental health. When you’re struggling, happiness can feel out of reach. Those who have uncovered real happiness have seen through the facade of hustle culture. Money doesn’t mean much when you can’t enjoy it. Instead of working themselves to the bone, they prioritize taking time for themselves.
8. Chasing perfection
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Perfection is unattainable, but we have all been guilty of chasing it. For a long time, I wanted to find perfection in my writing. When I would get feedback or edits on my articles, it felt like a direct insult. Why couldn’t I do everything right the first time? In letting go of that need for perfection, I found true happiness in the work I do. Rather than stressing over each sentence, I allow myself to have fun with what I’m working on. Many people can relate to this. They let their desire to be the best overrule their lives. This often leaves people struggling to find happiness in their lives.
It’s not easy to come to terms with the fact that nobody is perfect. Allowing yourself to make mistakes and move forward from them can make you feel like perfection doesn’t matter. Those who have found true happiness in their lives have stopped paying attention to what's deemed as perfection. They do what is best for them even if the result isn’t perfect.
9. The need to reach milestones by a certain age
I lovingly call myself a late bloomer. I didn’t hit the typical milestones by a certain age. I went to college later than my peers. I’m in my 30s and not married, and I don’t want kids. For a long time, I felt these milestones needed to be reached by a certain age. I felt pressure to fall in line with the rest of my friends. At a certain point, I stopped paying attention to these so-called milestones. I move at my own pace, and that works for me. Letting go of this comparison to others can make you feel truly happy.
In the end, the only person you have to please is yourself. While it can be hard not to give in to the pressure of the made-up timeline everyone else is following, it's important to reach your full potential. Truly happy people live for themselves and don’t allow others to put pressure on them. They stopped paying attention to the rest of the crowd long ago.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
