People Who Are So Stressed They Can't Remember How Good They Have It Say 8 Things In Casual Conversation
Timur Weber | PexelsGratitude often lowers stress and improves our happiness. It's a practice for better health.
But when someone's too stressed to remember how good they have it, they'll often say other things that make it hard for them to rebound. They're stuck in a cycle of disappointment and exhaustion, and it prevents them from appreciating their lives.
Things people who are too stressed to remember how good they have it often say
1. 'Nothing is going right'
Zamrznuti tonovi | Shutterstock
When you start blaming your unhappiness or stress on a bunch of different factors, you sabotage your sense of autonomy. Yes, work stress can take a toll on a person and we can't always completely disconnect from our responsibilities.
But everyone has the ability to take responsibility for how they feel. "Nothing is going right" fuels a disconnected mentality, where we lack any control in our lives and exist in a state of constant disappointment.
The most unhappy people overlook the power they have to make the best of what they have. And for people who can't remember how good they really have it, this mentality can be destructive.
2. 'Once I get here, I'll be happy'
When we compare ourselves or try to chase happiness, we usually end up living unfulfilling, unhappy lives. We're always saying "when I get this job I'll be happy" or "I just need to find a partner and it will be okay," not realizing that we're basing our happiness on things we can't always control.
These people miss out on living in the present moment, a fundamental experience that shapes how we feel and how happy our lives are. They're stressed out because they shame themselves for falling short of dreams, in search of some grandiose, immediate kind of happiness that isn't achievable.
3. 'I'm so behind'
There's no real timeline in life, despite what societal norms and trends try to tell us. Convincing ourselves that we're behind doesn't do us any favors. It keeps us stuck in a cycle of chasing comfort and happiness that we can create for ourselves right now.
We hyper-focus on what's missing from our lives, instead of appreciating what we do have. Therapist Carolina Casillas suggests that we're naturally inclined to compare ourselves to other humans for survival
But when we frame our self-worth and happiness around chasing other people's achievements and life paths, we overlook our own. What's right for someone else isn't always right for us, and that's okay.
4. 'It's not privilege'
Many unhappy people struggle to understand other perspectives. They live in an echo chamber where the necessities of life feel like things that everyone has.
When you expand your world and take in different perspectives, it helps you to appreciate what you have. These things aren't necessarily privileges in the way that people condemn them to be, but it's true that not everyone has them.
We're at an advantage because we have comfort and stability, even if our lives feel chaotic and stressful. The more we can appreciate these things and savor the comfort they offer us, the happier we'll be.
5. 'It's out of my control'
AYO Production | Shutterstock
According to a study shared in Communications Psychology, people who have a strong sense of control in their lives often manage their stress levels a lot better. That's not to say they try to control everything, but instead, feed their own personal sense of agency and resilience so they're not thrown off track by every inconvenience.
Someone who says "it's out of my control" feels more stressed. They overlook all the ways they can support themselves and respond thoughtfully in their best interest when something bad happens.
6. 'This is so unfair'
Yes, there are some struggles and traumas that we have to linger in to process them. But if someone is constantly saying "life is so unfair" as a justification for being unhappy or ungrateful, they're self-sabotaging.
The world is unfair and nothing will ever be perfect, even for the most deserving people. We have to simply accept that not everything will go our way all the time.
The most resilient people have a growth mindset, so even when they hit a hurdle, they focus on what they have and how they can move forward. They don't justify lingering in disappointment for too long.
7. 'My life is so hard'
Many people who have a good life and a lot of privilege cling to "my life is so hard" because they base their self-worth on their success. They don't want anyone to suggest that they benefited from being a part of a certain group or economic class, because they value working for their success too much.
It's not a bad thing to admit you've been privileged. It's not wrong to still struggle in a privileged life. We all do.
But if someone is trying to find evidence to compensate for their ego taking a hit, it becomes really easy for them to forget how good they have it and to take it for granted.
8. 'I can't live like this'
pics five | Shutterstock
We often give away our power when we're stuck in an overly stressful season of life. It's easier to pretend that our well-being and life path are completely out of our control when our nervous systems are dysregulated. Otherwise, we have to come to terms with the responsibility we have to turn things around.
"I can't live like this" is a desperate plea for exhausted, stressed out people, but it's also often their breaking point. They're missing out on appreciating what they have, even if that's just the agency to walk away from something or to change their routine.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
