10 Things People Only Do When They Are Completely Emotionally Exhausted & Just Done
Alex Unders | ShutterstockWe often think of stress as a cerebral experience, but emotional exhaustion also takes root in the body, causing all kinds of odd behaviors and reflexes we don't always notice until they spiral out of control.
From nervous behaviors like sweaty palms or self-isolating tendencies, the things people only do when they are completely emotionally exhausted and just done are our body's "red flags" and warning signs. The only cure for burnout and chronic stress is honest, true rest, and if someone's putting it off in favor of productivity, they're sabotaging their ability to show up for themselves healthily.
Here are 10 things people only do when they are completely emotionally exhausted and just done
1. They self-isolate
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Emotional "nurturing," according to Harvard Health experts, is the key to coping with emotional exhaustion and symptoms of burnout. Even if it's not a conscious decision, someone may carve out more time to be alone when they're too exhausted or drained to connect or socialize with anyone.
While small periods of alone time and intentional solitude can help to mediate the effects of burnout, if an individual is actually resting during that time, self-isolating with a negative mindset can take away all the good benefits. For example, if someone's self-isolating to avoid addressing their issues or seeking help, their solitude is riddled with all kinds of anxiety and loneliness, compared to someone who healthily uses it to recharge.
2. They get defensive and angry quickly
According to a study from Emotion, many people experience exhaustion and mental fatigue that sabotages their own emotional regulation skills. They don't have the emotional space to acknowledge feelings as they arise, so instead they get shoved down, accumulating deeply until they come up at minor inconveniences and small issues.
People dealing with inner turmoil often "snap" at inconsistent times, causing the people around them to walk on eggshells to protect themselves. Instead of being a calm force of groundedness, these people are fireworks that nobody is sure will ever go off.
3. They disconnect from things and people they love
Much like depressed individuals, people with chronic stress often experience a disinterest and displeasure with things and people that used to bring them a lot of joy. The hobbies, relationships, and interests that used to define and bring value to their free time now feel impossible, sabotaging any space these people have to cope with stress and truly unwind at home.
While it may not be as intense as someone in the shadow of depression, they're disconnected. They're missing out on the optimism and small joys of life that would otherwise protect them from burnout.
4. They struggle to concentrate on tasks
A study from PeerJ found that people experiencing stress or burnout often experience lower executive functioning and shorter attention spans than their well-rested, grounded peers. From struggling to complete small tasks at work to feeling overwhelmed by basic chores at home, emotionally exhausted people find tangible distractions impossible.
Of course, stress makes it harder for people to get the rest they need to have a clear mind. So, even if they're always asleep or swapping free time hobbies for naps, they may not be actually resting in healthy ways.
5. They're always running on autopilot
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If someone's always exhausted and is overextending themselves at work, they may be running on autopilot to cope. They don't have the mental capacity to do anything but follow their routine, and even then, it's sometimes too stressful and overwhelming to manage.
With a nervous system prompted into "fight or flight" from stress without healthy management skills, even the most simple, daily, mundane tasks become an impossible hurdle for exhausted people to manage.
6. They zone out more often
Many people who are always zoning out during conversations or "daydreaming" at the office aren't getting enough sleep to feel emotionally and mentally refreshed. Especially if they have a lot on their plates and aren't looking after their own well-being, their brains may force these small lapses in attention to reset or refresh themselves.
All the internal chaos and information is too much to manage, so, of course, their brains can't focus on small tasks or meaningless conversations.
7. They use busyness as a coping strategy
Many people experiencing burnout have been overextended for a long time. They haven't been taking care of themselves or addressing their pent-up emotions, and now, small acts of self-care or asking for help feel impossible.
Instead of coping with their stress in healthy ways, they instead focus only on avoidance. If they can spend one more minute, hour, or day distracting themselves from complex emotions and exhaustion with working late or staying busy, it all feels manageable, even if it comes at the long-term expense of their well-being.
8. They feel a sense of dread about everything
On top of lacking optimism, making decisions and interacting with others, people experiencing emotional exhaustion also often feel dread about everything. Whether it's worrying about their future or seeing the worst in everyone they meet, they can't help but to frame their entire lifestyle around the worst thoughts and assumptions.
While this "preparing for the worst" mentality might feel self-protective, experts like clinical psychologist Leon F. Seltzer argue that the anxiety people have over their dread only amplifies their inner turmoil further.
9. They feel physically drained
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From struggling to make eye contact and maintain a good posture to seeming relatively sluggish in every aspect of their lives, many people with a drained emotional state also feel drained physically. While it might just feel like they're not getting enough sleep or pushing toward a goal they can eventually reach, the truth is that their bodies are coping with turmoil in a tangible way.
They need some kind of physical release for what they're experiencing internally, even if it comes across as laziness to others.
10. They start canceling all their plans at the last minute
Even when it strains their relationships and creates a sense of guilt that adds to their turmoil, if someone's emotionally exhausted, they likely don't have space for draining connections. They start canceling plans at the last minute and even sabotaging their relationships by trying to cope with inner stress.
While they probably made the plans with the hope of dealing with their emotional strain and connecting with their communities, there's a chance they can't help but cancel to seek solitude, and they're struggling to accept.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
