Authentic People Do 3 Things To Set Themselves Apart Without Caring Who Approves
Connor Scott McManus | PexelsAuthentic people know there's a difference in participating in the experiences of an extraordinary life, as opposed to merely coasting along and reacting from a state of fear and survival mode on autopilot.
Self-transformation and living your true, authentic self is about making choices and taking deliberate action to grow beyond previous comforts. Only after you've plunged headfirst, however, can you realize that change is not always bad, and it most often leads to living a life that feels more true to who you really are.
How authentic people set themselves apart without caring about who approves:
1. They play by their own rules
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Start planning how you play the game of life that supports your goals, dreams, and visions for the future. Most of us spend years trying to make sense of someone else's rule book. When you start questioning whose rules you should be living by, that's when your most authentic life starts to take shape.
"Carving out your life is a choice not to be taken lightly. Isn't it time that you allowed yourself to be okay with the choices you make because they were the right ones at the time for you, rather than because you wanted to impress someone else?" marriage and family therapist Dr. Maxine Langdon Starr questioned.
2. Authentic people assert themselves
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Do this by improving your problem-solving, communication, and negotiating skills. Let go of the rope and stop holding on to unhealthy dependency. It holds people down; nobody in your circle of influence learns or grows in positive ways, and it only keeps people stuck in the fear traps of illusion.
Psychotherapist Engracia Gill clarifies that, "Being assertive means being direct about what you need, want, feel, or believe in a way that's respectful of the views of others. It's an effective communication skill that can reduce conflict, build your self-confidence, and improve relationships. Asserting yourself can feel empowering and freeing without downplaying anyone else's dignity."
3. Authentic people let go of other people's expectations
Acceptance for who and what you are means you permit yourself to steer your own course of personal growth and development to navigate around the traps of pain and suffering from other people’s life expectations.
You always have a multitude of choices, no matter what circumstances you are facing: "Radical acceptance is the ability to accept life as it is, and protect your peace. The situations you face, the relationships you experience, all of it, just accept them, especially if you can't change them," couples counselor Dr. Mandy Agnew explained.
Most of humanity is living in a state of mental chaos, running around inauthentically because:
1. The "rules" they are living by to gain outer approval, acceptance, or validation do not match or support the landscape of their innermost heart’s desire. The rule book is for someone else’s journey and not their own.
2. They spend so much time and energy trying to fulfill everyone else’s needs, trying to make others happy, and suppressing themselves to keep the peace, to avoid difficult communication and negotiations for change. They are left feeling miserable and unfulfilled when they abandon themselves and their own needs in the trade-off.
Trading your authenticity and happiness for someone else’s is risky because there is no guarantee they will follow your rules and actually be happy with what you sacrificed. The result is often anger, resentment, and a sense of failure when the other person isn’t happy, and it may have nothing to do with you at all, particularly if they are not developed in their own self-awareness and growth.
When it comes to living an authentic life, follow the Golden Rule: If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you have always gotten.
Joanne Pugh is a personal development coach who helps people move from fear and stagnation into powerful change. A Certified Master Life Coach with over 20 years of experience, she does coaching, energy healing, and self-help.
