Boomer & Gen X Men Often Deal With 7 Struggles That They Don’t Talk About

As Boomers and Gen X men age, their identities in their careers and family life shift. These men have complex feelings, and instead of sharing their struggles, they are more inclined to shut down.

Adult men already struggle with their emotions. It can be hard for them to put their feelings into words, often because they weren’t given the tools as children. Instead, they were taught to be strong and bury their feelings deep inside. This can be especially difficult as they get older and are forced to face them head-on without the distractions of work or kids.

Aging struggles boomers and Gen X men don't talk about:

1. Not having a career to rely on

boomer man struggles in silence because he no longer has a career to rely on Prostock-studio | Shutterstock

Men often devote their lives to their careers, especially boomers in retirement and Gen Xers close to it, who may have stayed loyal to one company for their entire working lives.

A study found that 40% of boomers remained at the same job for over 20 years. All of that dedication can make it difficult to settle into retirement. Most of their lives were dedicated to their work.

This is the danger of over-identifying with your job. You lose yourself in the process. This can lead to a serious identity crisis after the career comes to a close.

2. Their kids leaving the nest

boomer dad spending time with adult son struggles in silence with kids leaving the nest Halfpoint | Shutterstock

Empty nest syndrome impacts some people more than others. Some are ready for their kids to leave the house, while others dread it.

Those who struggle with their children moving out and starting their own lives are going through a period of change that can be hard to wrap their heads around. It’s a new chapter for everyone involved, which can cause sadness and anxiety for the parents as they lose their children to the real world.

While men often beam with pride about their children, it can still hurt when they become empty nesters. Instead of opening up about their feelings, men like this often choose to stay stoic. In reality, they’re burying their feelings, and they are bound to bubble up at some point.

3. Unprocessed grief

gen x man feeling sad silently dealing with unprocessed grief goodluz | Shutterstock

As we age, so do the people we love. Boomers and Gen X are watching their parents and friends age, or in some cases pass on.

Gen X is called the sandwich generation because they are stuck between raising their kids and helping their ailing parents. This brings stress men choose not to talk about. Instead, they try to be the pillar of their families, unwavering while others are struggling.

Leaving grief unprocessed can make people live in the denial stage. They struggle to understand the reality of their loss because they’ve never taken time to sit with it and reflect. It can be especially hard for men who feel they have to be the strongest one in the room.

4. Mental health concerns

boomer man dealing with mental health issues without talking about them MAYA LAB | Shutterstock

Talking about mental health is taboo for many older generations, especially men.

While women may confide in others, men are different. They resist going to therapy more than women do. When they’re struggling, they often bottle it up. This can lead to anger and irrational behaviors that can hurt the people they love. It can also leave them stuck in a cycle that can slowly eat away at them.

If you ask a boomer or Gen X man about their mental health, he’ll likely tell you everything is fine. They may be afraid to speak about their issues head-on, or be in complete denial that they’re going through anything at all.

5. Limited finances

boomer man trying to budget with limited finances doesn't talk about it brizmaker | Shutterstock

For many, retirement feels unattainable. I know I’m in that position. The economy is difficult, and making ends meet can feel impossible, let alone saving for retirement.

A study found that boomers and Gen X may be more unhappy in the current economy than millennials and Gen Z. It found that 70% of Gen Xers fear running out of money.

Although boomers hold 35% of the country’s wealth, not everyone is set up for success. The top 10% of boomer households held 71% of the generation's wealth. That means some boomer men out there are worried about their finances, even though they are the richest generation.

6. Burnout and stress

gen x man doesn't talk about the stress and burnout he deals with at work goodluz | Shutterstock

Burnout is tough on men. When they've spent decades devoted to work, they have struggled to see how much of a toll it has taken on their mental and physical health. Instead of slowing down, it’s not uncommon for men to still push themselves past their breaking point.

Boomers and Gen X grew up in a time when career meant everything; they likely got caught up in work rather than taking care of themselves.

The pressure to be the breadwinner was constantly looming over them. They may have believed that if they weren’t working hard, their family would lose their resources. Unprocessed burnout can continue long after retirement because they never truly took care of themselves.

7. Physical health that’s gone neglected

gen x man doesn't talk about his physical health concerns he neglected for years SofikoS | Shutterstock

My dad worked himself to the bone my entire childhood, and he’s still working to this day. He used to do a lot of physical labor, which took a toll on his health. I remember his back always hurting, and how he’d struggle day in and day out. Now, he’s still dealing with the pain he had decades ago. Heck, this man won’t even take cold medicine when he’s sick!

Studies have shown that men delay preventative care and ignore symptoms. They think they have to tough it out and may not realize the lasting effects on their long-term health. As they age, those aches and pains may creep up on them, making it harder to ignore.

Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.