Female Narcissists Lie To Their Friends In 7 Small Ways During Casual Conversations
Cast Of Thousands | ShutterstockTrying to be friends with a narcissist is exhausting. They naturally make others feel bad about themselves, and struggle to keep a conversation off them for too long. And with female narcissists, even if they have a group of friends, they tend to lie in small ways during conversations.
Narcissists believe they're superior to others, so they tend to have less concern for their needs. They have no issue bending the truth, so long as their own self-importance is projected onto others.
In conversations, female narcissists lie to their friends in small ways
1. Exaggerating the number of friends they have
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One way a female narcissist might lie is by talking about the amount of friends she has. She might say she has dozens of friends more than she actually does, or even take it a step further and make it seem like they have more friends than you.
Normal people don't count friends. They measure friendship by quality, not quantity. So, while female narcissists may list as many people as possible while telling a story to display how many friends they interacted with, they're likely bending the truth.
Some people feel insecure after hanging out with narcissistic women. They tend to criticize themselves for not being able to make as many friends, or feel unpopular. But that's just the narcissist's way of making themselves superior to others.
2. Dismissing concerns
Let's say you're having a bad day and you ask a friend to listen to you. It might seem like they're listening attentively, but when you try to ask them for a solution, they tell you it's not that big of a deal. If your friend is quick to dismiss your needs or concerns, they're likely a narcissist.
Narcissists make it seem like someone else is overreacting. They do this to shift the conversation back to themselves, not because they actually care what their friend has to say. They probably aren't even listening.
Because they struggle with caring about others more than themselves. So, while you're worried about something in your life, all they can think about is how they're perceived and what they need.
3. Fabricating powerful connections
While female narcissists often make themselves seem like they have lots of friends, they may also lie about who those friends are. They'll pick out popular people or even celebrities to include in their stories. They name-drop and fabricate situations that never happened. It's all to make it seem like they have connections and therefore have power.
Narcissists do this because they feel insecure about their accomplishments and don't want others to judge them for their lack of progress. They might talk about someone prestigious in their field to make it look like they're smarter or better at their job. They want to have a more powerful position and professional respect than they do.
Because they hold themselves in such high regard, female narcissists want to feel aligned with superior people or organizations. They believe they're too exceptional to be understood by "normal" people.
4. Reaffirming they're not lying
"I'm not lying" tends to be a common phrase among narcissists. They lie about lying because they're insecure. They don't always believe the positive things about themselves, so they turn the tables to make others believe it instead.
Still, lying isn't an attractive trait, so to get the pressure off them, they'll double down. They want to avoid having someone question their lies, so they deflect the blame. But a narcissistic woman who says this to her friends may find themselves in hot water.
By telling you that you were wrong about them lying, they're trying to gaslight you into thinking you aren't able to tell when they're deceptive. It might make you ignore other lies they tell as a result.
5. Making themselves the victim
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When a narcissist feels targeted, they get defensive. Narcissism itself has been explained as a "defensive self-enhancement," and this behavior can show up in their smaller interactions, too. One way they do this is by talking behind their friends' backs.
They talk about their friend without them knowing, and if their friend somehow finds out, they make themselves to be the victim. They accuse others of being mean to them or that what they said wasn't so bad.
While there's always another side to every story, when a narcissist is telling it, it's likely they aren't being truthful. Because if they can't admit to doing anything wrong, how can they expect a friendship to survive?
6. Making others feel dramatic
Instead of portraying themselves as victims, sometimes a female narcissist will flip the script and make you feel like nothing is wrong. You were just overreacting and are getting defensive. This tactic is not only manipulative, but it makes people feel a little bit crazy.
Narcissists who make you feel like you're making a big deal about nothing are incredibly frustrating. When someone tells you that you're being dramatic, it makes you feel belittled. But remember that a friend who brings out the worst in you is not a good friend to be around.
7. Over-exaggerating how much someone likes them
Narcissists are all about trying to present themselves as the best person in the room. They want people to think of them as desirable, but if they aren't getting the attention they want from someone, they'll just lie about it.
They might make up a story about a man liking them, even if that's not true. They may say they made a new friend because they're so interesting, even if that interaction never happened. They might tell someone this to get that desired attention, or to feel more confident in themselves.
Some narcissists are overly expressive about their love for themselves because they aren't feeling loved by others. They manipulate others into adoring them so they can reaffirm how they perceive themselves. But a friend who does this cares more about themselves anyway.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
