People Who Can Hold A Conversation With Literally Anyone Are Usually Way Happier For 6 Reasons
FXQuadro | ShutterstockWhether you’re an introvert or extrovert, social interaction is the key to happiness. Whether it’s a small conversation with your cashier at the grocery store or a long late-night talk with your best friend, interacting with others builds community and connection.
Many people who avoid small talk feel awkward and uncomfortable sparking a conversation with a stranger. However, it is actually a human instinct rooted in our survival. And those who have the gift of gab, regardless of who they're talking to, are living their best lives because of it.
People who can talk to anyone are usually way happier for these simple reasons:
1. They feel seen
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Making friends as an adult isn't easy. Imagine moving to a new town and being far from everyone you know and love. It's isolating. When you have the ability to talk to pretty much anyone, it's a whole lot less lonely.
Even if you aren't out of your comfortable stomping grounds, sometimes people don’t feel seen, so it’s nice to find that validation elsewhere. People want to feel like they matter and that they are valued. This acknowledgment from strangers, even if it's just a quick chit-chat while you're in line for coffee, feels nice.
2. They learn new things
A 2021 study found a correlation between striking up conversations with strangers and relational diversity. Researchers explained that, although having a close inner circle is important, conversations with strangers are equally as important.
NPR interviewed different NYC residents, all of whom said they love living in a big city because they love to learn about different people’s stories. And people want to share them!
3. Talking to strangers releases dopamine
In 2014, researchers Epley and Schroeder conducted a study centered around commuters. They asked participants who took the train or bus to work to engage in conversation with the people around them. They found that the people who actually took the time to chat with strangers on the way to work reported higher levels of happiness.
The reason Epley and Schroeder theorized is that these moments of small talk release dopamine. They wrote, “Humans are social beings. Those who misunderstand the consequences of social interactions may not, in at least some contexts, be social enough for their own well-being."
4. Having conversations opens up more opportunities
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Networking is one of the most important skills to learn as an adult, especially for someone actively job-searching. In this job market, just sending your resume out is not enough. It is important to make connections that might eventually lead to a job.
Networking can happen anywhere. For example, one time I got into an Uber Share when I was visiting Amsterdam, and there was another man in the car with me. We started talking, and it turned out we were from the same city in the USA and worked in the same field. What started as small talk ended up as a job opportunity.
5. Practicing small talk improves communication skills
In addition to the professional and mental health benefits of talking to strangers, there are also neurological ones. According to scientists Greg Stephens, Lauren Silbert, and Uri Hasson, speaker-listener brain activity can align across cortical regions, which are responsible for higher-level processing. Using these parts of the brain on a regular basis is very important and will increase communication skills.
If you're not very good at making small talk, the only way to improve is with practice.
6. They are helping others
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It’s important to engage in conversation with people because, in addition to the self-fulfilling positive outcomes, you can also help other people.
I have had so many interactions with strangers that have helped me with small things in my life. For example, I was shopping the other day and wasn't sure whether to buy a certain dress. That’s when a random woman came up to me and said I should buy it. It seems like such a little thing, but that woman made a change in my life.
I've also had more meaningful conversations that started with small talk. Like the time I sat next to a woman on a plane who was from a different state than me. We started talking, and we found out we have very different political views. However, by the end of the conversation, we were able to find middle ground, and we changed each other's outlooks.
Sophie Bagheri is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and theatre who covers lifestyle topics.
