5 Rare Habits Of People Who Stay Exceptionally Happy Even When They Have Every Reason Not To
Steven Indrajaya | UnsplashToo much stress can make you overwhelmed, and if you want to know how to be happy in life, it's time to learn how to manage that stress. I’m often asked: if you decide to be happy and follow all the strategies for living a life that feels nourishing and fulfilling, will that mean never feeling stressed or overwhelmed again? And, honestly, the answer is no, of course not. Life was never meant to be perfect or never stressful — even when you're happy!
Research has suggested that people use perfectionism to cope with feelings of insecurity and chaos, essentially using high achievements to mask deep vulnerability. They found that when people lack supportive relationships, they turn to perfectionism to control life's unpredictable nature.
Here are 5 rare habits of people who stay exceptionally happy even when they have every reason not to:
1. People who stay exceptionally happy keep their bodies moving
When learning to deal with stress and feelings of overwhelm, the first step is simple: go for a walk. Research has explained that regular physical activity is a highly effective way to increase happiness. All you need is a decent pair of shoes and somewhere safe to take a stroll.
Our thoughts often shift us from managing things smoothly to feeling overwhelmed. So, by moving your body, you’re forcing yourself out of your head and into your body. There’s also something especially grounding about putting feet to the pavement, as if you’re sending those frustrations into Mother Earth.
2. They train their minds to look for what's good
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Taking pen to paper is one of the action steps to take to deal with feeling overwhelmed. And the best way to deal with those thoughts and emotions is to go to gratitude. The best way to use journaling for stress is to explore both how you feel and what you think about the event, rather than focusing only on negative feelings. In a small notebook or on a stack of index cards, simply write down three to five things you are grateful for. Do this every day, so that it becomes a habit — kind of like a stop, drop, and write moment.
I won’t go into the science of it here, but just know that gratitude will rewire the way your brain processes your thoughts. To make science work for you, do this daily as a morning or evening routine. Do this as a practice and see it as a ritual — a sacred act for your own soul.
3. People who stay exceptionally happy take it to the mat
There’s a reason why mediation is a hot topic when talking about managing stress, and that’s because it works: Scientists have found that folks who meditate regularly have lower blood pressure and blood sugar.
Meditation is one of the best action steps to take to deal with feeling overwhelmed. You can do this by sitting and breathing or downloading an app. And, when you make meditation a part of your life as a regular practice? It can help you better control how you respond to stress. That means you will feel overwhelmed less often.
4. They reach out to people they trust instead of isolating themselves
Sometimes the best solution to feeling overwhelmed is to spend time with others. So, when you are feeling overwhelmed, one of the best action steps to take is to call a friend and set up a coffee or lunch date. Yes, I know you’re busy. And, yes, I know it can feel challenging to coordinate schedules with your friends, who are likely just as busy as you.
Research has consistently shown that being connected to others through strong relationships is vital for mental health. When you feel overwhelmed, is there anything that sounds better than having a good laugh and sharing tales of the day with someone you trust? So, text your bestie and schedule that time stat.
5. People who stay exceptionally happy always have something to look forward to
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One of the best books I read last year was Off the Clock: Feel Less Busy While Getting More Done by work/life balance expert Laura Vanderkam. In her research, she found that planning something you are looking forward to doing or experiencing allowed the anticipation to build, which is sometimes even more enjoyable than actually having the experience.
So, when you are feeling overwhelmed, another one of the action steps to take is to plan something fun. Maybe you can’t take a vacation right away, but you can plan your next vacation. Or purchase a ticket online to that movie you really want to see next week. Or even plan a nice dinner after work tonight. This also allows you to focus on something else, not just what’s causing you to feel overwhelmed right this moment.
6. They expect there to be tough moments
It’s hard to deal with feeling stressed or overwhelmed often because sometimes the feeling just happens upon us. One of the best action steps to take is to prepare yourself before it happens. So, rather than waiting for overwhelm to arrive, take some time to brainstorm a list of what helps when you’re feeling calm and relaxed.
This is cracking your own code because the thing is, my darling, you know yourself best. The next time you feel overwhelmed or totally stressed out, you’ll have go-to actions to take. When you take action, it helps you move out of your head (and swirling thoughts) and into your body.
You can find the path to loving your life. And know the moments of feeling stressed out and overwhelmed don’t mean you’re messing up. It simply is a reminder that you are a human being having a human experience. By knowing some action steps you can take, you'll start to have more good days than bad days.
Debra Smouse is a life coach and author who has also been published in Time, Huffington Post, MSN, Psychology Today, and more. She believes in following your desires even when your life is already awesome.
