11 Quiet Things In Life That Bring Way More Happiness Than Hanging Out With People Who Drain You
PeopleImages | ShutterstockThe people you're choosing to keep around you completely change how you perceive, feel about, and exist in the world, for better and worse.
Even if you're scared of alone time or trying to figure out who you are, you still don't have to tolerate their misbehavior. There are other ways to seek the joy of social connections, belonging, and community that don't revolve around entertaining the wrong relationships and soaking up negative energy from people. While many of the quiet things in life that bring way more happiness than hanging out with people who drain you are often underestimated, they're still powerful for helping you grow and blossom into the best version of yourself.
Here are 11 quiet things in life that bring way more happiness than hanging out with people who drain you
1. Slowing down your daily rituals
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Even brushing your teeth or drinking your coffee in the morning can be a ritual, rather than an obligation, when we intentionally slow ourselves down. When we appreciate mindfulness and the art of existing where our feet are, happiness and general well-being grow with us, as a 2021 study suggests.
Stop rushing like you're running from something or constantly trying to meet a deadline. Even if that means waking up a little earlier to slow down your morning routine or going to bed early for a few moments of peace without anyone needing your attention, find pockets of time where you can simply "be" without productive obligations lingering.
2. Going on a long walk outside
On top of the natural "nurturing" energy we feel from being out and surrounded by nature, moving your body, even if it's going for a long walk on your own, can similarly boost mood and general well-being. While walking offers so many benefits, happiness is one of the most accessible. Even standing outside for a few moments or walking around the block can change our moods instantly.
So, instead of trying to fill a social calendar during the week or seek out attention from others to feel more secure and grounded, start practicing being in your own company outside. Notice things you usually miss and express gratitude to the earth that we're so lucky to coexist with.
3. Listening to uplifting music
Listening to the right music can boost our mood and make us happier almost instantly. It's a sensory experience and hobby that's entirely underrated.
There's a time and place to wallow in sad music and to appreciate the wistfulness of a breakup song, but if you're trying to boost your mood, pick something that genuinely uplifts your energy and sparks a kind of joy inside of you. Go for a walk, sit in the bathtub, pick an intentional playlist for your commute to work. All of these things are better than relying on a toxic friend or draining person for a sense of importance.
4. Cleaning your safe space
When we're surrounded by messes and visual clutter, it can raise our cortisol levels and create unnecessary stress. Cleaning, even if it's just doing a single chore or picking up clutter in your bedroom, can instantly make you feel at ease and boost your mood.
Even if it seems like an obligation, you can create a ritual rooted in your happiness and well-being by being intentional about cleaning. Invest in your space, make it feel more comfortable, and avoid taking on stress you don't need in a space that's intended to relax and support you, instead of wasting time on people who rarely offer you those same feelings of ease.
5. Canceling plans
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While there's a certain amount of respect we should have with the people we care about in offering time before canceling or giving a genuine apology, sometimes saying "no" when we're invited out or putting our alone time first is more beneficial than wasting social batteries on people who don't deserve our effort.
The relief you feel after sending the text or canceling the plans tells you everything you need to know. Especially if you're an introvert, and alone time is an essential part of energizing your social battery, you can invest more thoughtfully into interactions that actually provide value, rather than wasting it all on small talk and superficial people.
6. Breathing deeply
Yes, breathing deeply and taking a few moments to slow down can bring happiness. You don't need to leave the house or interact with someone to garner that peace. It's already rooted inside of you. Just take a few moments to tap into it.
As a study from Cell Reports Medicine explains, these simple breathing techniques and practices instantly improve your mood and reduce all the stress you're unknowingly holding onto. While it might take some time to get comfortable with the feeling of ease and slowness they require, at some point, you'll find true joy in mindful moments like these.
7. A quiet night in
Everyone needs a healthy balance between solitude and social time, but most people overlook the healthiest parts of spending time in their own company. Even if it means saying "no" to a fun Friday night plan and practicing spending time at home alone, the more comfortable you are and the more positive a mindset you hold around alone time, the more beneficial it becomes.
Put on a comfort movie you love. Take a bath. Read a book you haven't had time for. Invest in some self-care. Whatever feels good for you in the moment, do it. Spend some time feeding back into the relationship you carry with yourself, because, at the end of the day, it's the only one you can trust to stay with you forever.
8. Taking an 'everything' shower with your nicest products
We often hold onto "nice" things and luxury items for too long, waiting for the "right moment." However, every day we overlook them in favor of something more practical or inexpensive, we tell ourselves that we're not worthy of them as we are right now. The next time you need a mental reset or a moment of self-care, take an "everything" shower and pamper yourself.
Use all the nice products. Set the mood with low lighting, candles, or incense. Appreciate who you are right now and lean into the pampering of a shower on a night with no obligations or needs from anyone but yourself.
9. Carving out time for a break
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Of course, taking small breaks or 30-minute naps throughout the day can boost our general productivity and energy levels, but sometimes the joy of these mindful moments has nothing to do with how much better we are at producing outcomes. It's just about experiencing ourselves, slowing down, and caring for our happiness without trying to produce anything.
Sit in your car for a few minutes after work. Get up 5 minutes earlier and sit with your thoughts in bed. Appreciate your own company, even if you only have a few moments throughout the day to do so.
10. Journaling
When you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed, you might have a tendency to lean on distractions like social time, mindless entertainment, or doomscrolling on your phone for comfort. However, these distractions, even when they offer an immediate sense of comfort, can urge us to suppress feelings and cultivate more strain and stress over time.
When you take a minute to journal about your feelings or "brain dump" everything you've been trying to remember in your mind, you allow those once-pent-up feelings to dissolve. You instantly feel the relief of letting go and the mood boost of feeling more understanding of how you're feeling. It's powerful.
11. Taking a 'digital detox'
According to a study from Behavioral Sciences, even a two-week "digital detox" from screens and your phone can significantly boost psychological well-being, mood, and stress levels. Even your relationships will feel more intentional and supportive after you stop relying on your phone as a method of distraction and escapism.
While two full weeks might not feel realistic right now, try taking a one-hour break from your phone in the evening. Do something you love, try an analog hobby, or sit with your thoughts. Turn off notifications. Stop being constantly available to people and things that drain your energy.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
