You Can Easily Spot An Entitled Person By 10 Phrases They Usually Say In Casual Conversation
Nicoleta Ionescu | ShutterstockThere's a big difference between knowing what you deserve based on having high (but realistic) standards and entitlement, which is a trait marked by believing you are more special and deserving than others.
While it's easy to miss the early signs someone has an entitlement complex, you can spot them by watching what they say when they speak to you. When you really listen, it's pretty obvious they feel more important than everyone else.
Entitled people often say these 10 phrases in casual conversations
1. ‘What’s in it for me?’
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Entitled people are inherently transactional. They refuse to spend time or energy on other people unless they’re getting something in return. Whether that’s a literal favor or the type of interaction that normally builds connection, their mindset revolves around believing the world owes them something.
Even when they don't say it outright, many of the phrases they use will say “what’s in it for me?” in some way or another. Some super entitled people will ask it directly, letting you know that this is far from an unconditional relationship. Ultimately, they believe that their own personal comfort should be at the forefront of everyone’s minds, even when it predicts a lack of productivity or success.
2. ‘I can’t help with that’
Most entitled people aren’t interested in offering support or help, even in the relationships where this effort should be unconditional. So, when someone asks for help or they’re prompted to engage in a small act of kindness, you’ll likely hear “I can’t help you,” instead of saying yes or offering to find someone else better suited.
Even when they have the time and skills, they overlook the power of a small act of kindness in favor of their own comfort and convenience. They feel entitled to focus on themselves, all the time, unless it serves them in the end.
3. ‘You have it easy’
Because they refuse to take accountability for their own choices when things turn bad or the encounter a challenge, entitled people find excuses for their own struggles. They often react to their jealousy by telling toe other person they had an advantage or that they just got lucky, instead of acknowledging that person's hard work and commitment.
If they believed the other person deserved what they had, then they wouldn't be able to justify why life isn't perfect for them. The believe they're entitled to everything going right, no matter how little effort they put in, and will undermine anyone whose hard work actually leads to success.
4. ‘I can’t believe you’re doing this to me’
Entitlement predicts an attitude of superiority. They think they deserve better because they think they are, inherently, better people.
They don’t think the rules apply to them, both in terms of the law and in unspoken boundaries in their relationships. They have a huge, inflated sense of what they deserve, which often fuels this mentality that they are above everyone else.
When someone puts themselves first or enforces boundaries in healthy ways, they immediately feel like they’re being attacked. To be anything other than the center of attention feels like they're being victimized.
5. ‘Why should I have to wait?’
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Even the most minor inconveniences, like having to wait in line or dealing with a favorite item being out of stock at the store feel like a personal offense to entitled people. Even though they’re basic, unavoidable parts of daily life for people of all walks of life, these people think only of themselves, not any extenuating circumstances.
“Why should I have to wait?” when hurled at a person working in the service industry, is a sign of this inflated superiority. They don’t want to have to manage discomfort in their lives because they believe they’re above these normal, human behaviors.
6. ‘Can you just do it for me?’
Most entitled people don’t believe they should have to deal with any kind of discomfort or adversity in their lives, despite the fact that solving problems and rising above challenges actually help people succeed. Instead, they want to outsource to everyone else, even when they’re deliberately harming relationships and isolating themselves.
Some of these people will use weaponized incompetence (where you do a bad job on purpose, knowing you won't be asked to do the job again) to avoid chores at home. Others pass off work they don’t want to do to co-workers, even when they're not in a position to assign this work.
They cannot imagine how the other person feels, or maybe they just don't care, even when the consequences are dire for their own personal and professional lives. Then, of course, they'll see themselves as victims when those consequences strike.
7. ‘You’re being so unfair’
There's a difference between knowing what you deserve and feeling entitled to things you haven't earned, and entitled people believe that hardships are inherently unfair. If they have to deal with minor inconveniences, frustrating expectations at work, and hard conversations in their relationships, they immediately perceive these situations to be “unfair,” when in reality, they’re just a part of life.
Of course, life is unfair sometimes. However, the difference between an entitled person and their average counterparts is that they view unfairness as something to be fixed and avoided. They expect people to tailor their actions and behaviors to make their lives “fair,” usually at the expense of others.
8. ‘I just have bad luck’
Instead of acknowledging that they’ve made a mistake and leaning into the challenge of taking control of their own lives, entitled people avoid, deflect, and make excuses. They chalk up all their hardships to “terrible luck,” even when it’s a symptom of their own immaturity or incompetence.
While it might seem like they’re protecting themselves from discomfort in the moment, avoiding accountability only creates more stress over. time.
9. ‘It’s about time’
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We’ve all dealt with ungrateful people and individuals who are incredibly unappreciative of kindness in others. They believe that they’re deserving of other people’s time and energy without putting in any effort themselves, so they get easily annoyed and frustrated when others don’t immediately respect this belief.
They say “it’s about time” and “I need this” to invalidate other people’s boundaries and to make them feel worse, even though they’ve probably just done something kind.
10. ‘I shouldn’t have to ask’
Entitled people expect their partners to be mind readers, a standard literally nobody could eve reach. They want all of their desires fulfilled and all of their needs met, but never want to lean into the challenge of actually expressing their emotions in a vulnerable way.
They refuse to learn how to thoughtfully ask for what they need or meet the needs of others. They’d prefer to sidestep all of that discomfort and instead shame their partners for not being perfect, at the expense of everyone involved.
Saying something like, “I shouldn’t have to ask” is how they invalidate their partners, and a major warning sign someone is not going to be a kind or caring partner unless they do some major work to unwind this sense of entitlement.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
