People Who Feel Drained By Overly Happy People Usually Have 9 Distinct Personality Traits
yourphotopie | ShutterstockIt's normal to get annoyed at overly happy people sometimes, but some people can never enjoy the company of these friends. Their distinct personality traits make it impossible.
In theory, we'd want everyone to be happy all the time. People could get along better, and there'd be less conflict. Still, in real life, not everyone expresses their joy with exuberance. Some people are more subtle. And when you're having a moment and need to just wallow, it's easy to judge someone for being peppy because it contradicts how you're feeling.
People who feel emotionally drained by overly happy people usually have these personality traits:
1. They don't trust easily
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No one wants fake friends because they're impossible to trust. No one wants to feel like they have to watch what they say and act differently than they normally would, especially when they are casually hanging out.
Unfortunately, exuberance can sometimes be mistaken for gullibility and even fakeness. And if someone is untrusting by nature, all that bubbly joy will not sit well. They will question whether all that happiness could be authentic and will immediately jump to the conclusion that it's a performance. Inevitably, all that wondering will just drain their emotional battery.
2. They like to stay up late
When I've just woken up and am feeling exhausted, I can easily get annoyed at someone being overly peppy. Their energy reminds me of how tired I am and how little I want to make my mood presentable for the workday.
People who are night owls and are regularly running on too little sleep constantly feel this way when they interact with really happy people. The human body needs sleep. If it doesn't get it, people's brains can be negatively affected. Their mood will change, and they'll have a harder time regulating their emotions. If someone frustrates them, they're more likely to lash out than if they were well rested.
3. They can be a little judgmental
A lot of people who don't like happy people think they're dumb. They see their happiness as vapid because there are too many bad things in the world to make someone positive all the time. They'll probably believe the happy person doesn't keep up with the news or watches too much reality TV.
They'll also usually think they're unempathetic because they don't seem to have sympathy for people in bad situations. But these are negative stereotypes that don't apply to every overly happy person. They might not be unempathetic. They could just be looking on the bright side.
Still, some people are too judgy to accept that and will feel drained by their positive behavior. They'll go into interactions with an overly happy person, believing the conversations will be surface-level and without substance. It'll zap them of energy before they even start talking.
4. They don't like it, but they can get jealous easily
Whenever I get annoyed at someone for being happy, I know it's my problem, not theirs. While some people can acknowledge it's not fair to get mad at someone for being positive, not everyone can. People who are always annoyed by exuberant joy tend to think they have a valid reason to dislike them.
It's because they're jealous. They can't handle that someone is happier than they are, and it makes them look at that person differently. Jealousy kind of blinds people. It can make someone think their friend is mean or at fault when they're really just more successful in an area the jealous person wants to be better in.
Those negative emotions can leave them feeling drained and even more annoyed at the happy person and themselves.
5. They're insecure and really good at hiding it
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People usually only experience jealousy because they're insecure. People who get drained by overly happy people tend to feel insecure about not feeling the same way.
They might deflect their insecurity by criticizing the overly happy person, but that's probably not how they really feel. It's just that the happy person's positivity acts as a mirror, and it reflects the other person's dissatisfaction. No one wants to be unhappy.
6. They struggle with empathy
Sometimes people are really happy because a lot of good things are happening in their lives. Their friends should celebrate the positive things happening to them, but some can't.
Some get too drained because celebrating their friends' accomplishments makes them feel bad about themselves. They don't have the capacity to be a cheerleader for another person's successes.
Putting out that much excitement and care might be too much for them to handle. Unempathetic people tend to be more critical and skeptical than supportive, which can leave them feeling drained when they're around an emotionally happy friend.
7. They're introverted
Some people just naturally get drained by social interaction. They won't just feel it with overly happy people. They'll feel it with everyone.
These people are introverts, and they'll feel exhausted after interacting with too many people. They'll feel more energized by taking time for themselves than by dealing with a whole lot of other people's emotions.
8. They're laid back
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Some people are just more laid back than others. People who get drained by overly happy people usually fall into that category. They'd prefer a chill night watching a movie with friends over an exciting outing that requires a lot of energy.
Happy people usually want to make the most of life. They're the friends who like to plan excursions for the group. It'll probably annoy their low-energy friends, but they might still follow their happy friends' lead. When they're forced to do an activity like that, they'll probably feel more drained than excited.
9. They enjoy gossip
Gossip is rarely positive. If it was, people wouldn't need to spread it behind other people's backs. People who feel drained by happy people tend to enjoy gossip more than most.
They like talking about the crazy things that happened to their friends because it interests them. They'll get captivated by the conversation, and it'll make them feel more energized. Happy people, on the other hand, don't usually like gossip because they'd rather focus on more positive topics.
These conversations don't always interest people who like gossip, and so they'll be bored when they're talking to them. It'll leave them feeling drained after the conversation because they have to pretend to be engaged.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
