People Who Try Way Too Hard To Fit In Usually Say 8 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Zamrznuti tonovi | ShutterstockMost of us have changed parts of ourselves at some point to feel accepted. While that's completely normal, constantly looking for approval can show up in the way someone talks.
Certain phrases can reveal that they're more focused on fitting in than being themselves, even if they don't realize they're doing it.
People who are always trying to fit in usually end up saying these phrases:
1. "I was just thinking that!"
People who are trying a little too hard to fit in will tend to over-agree with the other person in conversation. It is a common people-pleasing habit because they worry someone won't like them if they politely disagree.
They often over-agree with almost everything that's said. They will say things like "I was just thinking that!" or "Totally!" even if they weren't just thinking that.
2. "Do you not like me?"
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People who try too hard to fit in are constantly worried about what those around them think of them. This can lead to awkward conversations or not knowing what to say.
Sometimes those insecurities slip into conversation, leading to questions like "Do you not like me?" because they want to know what you are thinking. According to Psychology Today, people-pleasers need praise to feel good, so they will seek it outwardly.
3. Making self-deprecating jokes to get people to like them
People will use self-deprecating jokes to make people like them. If they are insecure about something, they will try to get ahead of the joke by making it first. However, making self-deprecating jokes can actually backfire.
According to psychologist Grant Hilary Brenner, self-deprecating humor is a "self-fulfilling prophecy in which the short-term emotional release from cracking a joke at our own expense may cue others to give us a wide berth, signaling negative views we hold about ourselves." This can encourage other people to keep making the joke or simply make everyone else feel uncomfortable instead of amused.
4. "I guess so"
Hedge words are used to soften statements and come across as more agreeable. Phrases such as "I guess so", "sort of" or "maybe" are just ways to not make a definitive statement.
People who are trying to fit in will use these because they are afraid of upsetting whoever they are talking to. When someone relies on these phrases all the time, it can be a sign they're worried about saying the wrong thing or not fitting in.
5. Making up stories to seem more interesting
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Although this is not necessarily a phrase, people who are trying to fit in will elaborate or make up stories to impress whoever they are talking to. Many people on Reddit say this is a common sign that someone is trying too hard to fit in.
For example, they may lie and say they have met certain celebrities or been on vacations they haven't actually taken. Sometimes these lies are a sign that this person can't be trusted, but sometimes it means they just want to fit in.
6. "What do you guys think?"
Many, many times, when people are trying to fit in, they are too afraid to voice their own opinions. When they do, they will immediately follow up with a statement like "What do you guys think?" so they don't come across as too assertive.
This also gives them an out so if the other person disagrees, they can easily just agree with them too. They constantly check whether their opinions and preferences match everyone else's.
7. "Is it OK if I...?"
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Questions like "What do you guys think?" and "Is it OK if I?" are defined as "polite, respectful inquiries that give authority figures or counterparts the illusion of control."
These can be beneficial in certain situations, especially at work. However, if used too often or with the wrong crowd, it can just come across as annoying.
8. Saying "Sorry!" for almost everything
Don't get me wrong, knowing when to take accountability and apologize is a HUGE strength in life. However, constantly apologizing can make someone seem less confident, even when they've done nothing wrong.
There are many reasons for over-apologizing, including childhood trauma or societal expectations. Over-apologizing can weaken credibility and show that you feel like you don't deserve to take up space. Learning when to apologize and when not to can make a huge difference in your life.
Sophie Bagheri is a writer with a bachelor's degree in English and theatre who covers lifestyle topics.
