People Who Don’t Care What Anyone Thinks Of Them Simply Refuse To Apologize For 8 Things
FXQuadro / ShutterstockAs a little girl, I was always taught that I shouldn’t take up too much space. My grandmother often told me it was impolite to make things about me. Since that was impolite, you could only imagine how she felt about making others uncomfortable or fighting with them, even if they were rude to me. Because I want to make everyone feel respected, I constantly apologize for doing things that I think might be disrespectful. I think I say sorry at least twenty times a day.
These apologies usually make me feel like I don't respect myself because I care too much about what others think. I have great admiration for people who don’t care about any of that and refuse to apologize for things that aren't actually worthy of an apology.
People who don’t seem to care what anyone thinks about them refuse to apologize for these specific things
1. Having the guts to address conflict
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My grandmother taught me it was critically important to keep the peace. She reasoned that unless conflict was absolutely necessary, you shouldn’t engage. Unfortunately, the bar for what qualified as bad enough to start a fight over was extremely high. It led me to put up with a lot of small things that, when added up, made me really upset.
People who value themselves bring up concerns, even if they’re small. If someone keeps making a bunch of jokes about you, it might hurt your feelings. Someone who feels this way but is unapologetic would ask them to stop, even if that leads to conflict.
When putting up with cruel jokes or other bad situations, it’s okay to create conflict. People who don’t care about what other people think aren’t worried about their friend getting frustrated at them. Even if it makes things a little awkward with their friend, they’re going to prioritize their own happiness.
2. How they dress
I went to a private school where we had to wear uniforms every day. Whenever we had rare non-uniform days, my classmates would often dress in sweatpants or leggings. I preferred to dress up a little bit more than that. Some people told me I was trying too hard, but I didn’t do it for them. I did it because that was how I like to dress.
Many people have unique styles that don’t align with how their community dresses. When others criticize us for our fashion choices, we might feel insecure and change how we dress. People who don't care what others think don't usually make that change.
They probably won't let themselves feel guilty for wearing something different than the norm. They embrace their style because it’s a form of self-expression. This expression shows who they are, and they usually don't feel the need to apologize for that.
3. Their background
We all have unique backgrounds that have influenced how we see the world. Our backgrounds heavily influence the way we act or dress. It can even affect our personality.
Some people are critical of other people's backgrounds because they look different from their own. They don't understand the culture of someone from a different background. This might stop them from understanding unusual behaviors. Some people might be biased enough to think of the other person's actions as weird.
People who don't care about what others think don't apologize for where they came from. They understand that it's deeply connected to who they are and how they see the world.
4. Their success
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Some people are smarter than others. They also might be more successful. Those who accomplish something their friend wanted to do sometimes feel guilty and worry about making their friend feel insecure, leading them to apologize for their success.
People who don’t care what others think don’t let other people’s perspectives affect them. They trust that they deserve their success and didn't just get it for no reason.
Successful people might also worry about being criticized for seeming like they’re trying too hard. However, a person who doesn’t care what other people think unapologetically allows themselves to shine. They don't let other people cover up their light because they’re insecure.
5. Going home early
You aren't always going to meet your friends at your house. Sometimes you guys might go out and hit the town for a while. After some time, you might begin to feel tired. Some people struggle through their exhaustion because they don’t want their friends to feel like they don’t care enough to stay and hang out. They might also feel like they have to stay to support a friend.
Often, when I am debating whether to go home early, I feel too guilty about leaving my friends in a smaller group. I worry that they’ll feel awkward and resent me because of it. I stay out because I don't want them to stop inviting me. However, that is a common symptom of peer pressure.
Some people resist that peer pressure and don't let their negative emotions keep them out longer than they want to be. They probably won't apologize for leaving early, either. They put their own needs first and probably trust that their friends will invite them next time.
6. How they speak
Different places have different expectations for how you should speak. At a football game, you're expected to be loud and cheer for your team. In contrast, you might be expected to speak quietly so everyone can get their work done.
Some people choose not to do this because they don't want to apologize for who they are. Changing your speech patterns is one way you can engage in code-switching. This means acting differently in different situations to fit in with whichever group you're around.
People who change how they speak to fit in can feel disconnected from their identity. They might feel like they are a completely different person in different situations. Maybe they feel like a rowdy extrovert at games but an awkward introvert at work.
They can avoid this by speaking naturally and ignoring how a given place expects them to speak.
7. Their emotions
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Feeling overdramatic can lead to many other negative feelings as well. When we belittle our own emotions, we usually feel invalidated and inadequate because we’re telling ourselves that the emotion is fake. For example, if we invalidate anxiety when we’re having a panic attack, we can begin to feel even more anxious about being stressed. This can make people feel inadequate because they might wonder why they’re unable to handle that emotion.
Sometimes we feel overdramatic because someone else told us our issue isn’t that big of a deal. But people who don't care about others' opinions don't let themselves believe this. They validate their own experiences to start working through it.
8. Their mistakes
We all make mistakes. Some people feel more inclined than others to apologize when they do something wrong. They don't let themselves care about someone judging them. They also probably don't let themselves feel guilty for letting others down. Instead of apologizing, they might try to fix their mistake or prevent it from happening again. It's human to mess up sometimes.
Most people experience something new every day and are constantly learning from these situations. It's a lot to expect someone to get everything right on the first try. People who don't apologize for their mistakes give themselves grace to try again and keep learning.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
