People Who Don’t Like Attention Do 8 Specific Things To Stay Under The Radar
sergey causelove / ShutterstockI have a friend who absolutely hates being the center of attention. Even on her birthday, she demands that none of us sing to her if we’re out at a restaurant. She gets too embarrassed if everyone’s looking at her.
It’s not that she dislikes people. It’s quite the opposite, actually. There are just some people who feel overwhelmedwhen all eyes are on them, and they’ll usually do certain things to make sure they stay out of the spotlight.
If someone doesn't like attention, they'll usually do these specific things to stay under the radar
1. Downplay their accomplishments
When our friends do something great, we usually want to celebrate them. Many people love to be celebrated for the hard work they do, but people who want to fly under the radar don't always feel the same way. They'll avoid letting their friends know about their accomplishments so they don't have to face the attention that comes with being celebrated.
If their friends do find out about it, they'll downplay how big of a deal it is. If they got a raise, they'll pretend like it's a common accomplishment and that everyone got one. This stops their friends from realizing the importance of the moment. Instead, they'll assume it isn't something that's worth a whole celebration.
2. Stay in for the night
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Even if they’re not antisocial, people who avoid attention tend to prefer spending a quiet night at home after a long week over seeing their friends. That’s because a lot of people who don’t like attention are introverts.
These people need time by themselves to recharge after they’ve been feeling stressed. They also enjoy staying home because it allows them to avoid attention entirely. In the privacy of their home, they’ll know nobody’s watching them. The assurance will also probably help them feel calmer.
While spending time alone at home sounds boring to some people, to attention-avoidant people, it's not. It's the perfect way for them to re-energize themselves and feel prepared to face attention when they go back out into the world.
3. Limit eye contact
Eye contact is one of the easiest ways to pull someone into a conversation. According to a study focused on the effect of eye contact on social interaction, it "marks the rise and fall of shared attention in conversation." If someone holds eye contact with you, it makes you focus on them.
People who avoid attention can stay under the radar by not making eye contact with the people they’re around. They’ll look around the room instead, knowing that if they catch someone's eye contact, there’s a good chance they’ll walk over and start a conversation with them. That conversation will probably bring the attention these people are trying to avoid. Also, if they're not used to attention, a surprise conversation can make them feel unprepared or stressed about handling it right.
4. Dress in neutral colors
People are less likely to get noticed based on the clothes they wear. If someone's wearing a really bright top, they're more likely to catch someone's eye than if they wore neutrals. That's why neutral colors are the go-to choice for people who avoid attention.
This doesn't just keep them out of the spotlight. It also helps them fade into the background. In neutral colors, they have an easier time blending into the environment. They're basically hiding in plain sight whenever they do choose to hang out with people. A basic, neutral outfit also means there’s not much someone can specifically compliment them on. Getting a compliment would mean getting attention.
5. Listen more than they talk
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Some people stay under the radar by moving attention from themselves to other people. They like to listen more than they talk. They don’t get caught up in who gets to be the focus of the conversation because they don’t want it to be them anyway.
When they do talk, they’ll probably just be asking questions. It’ll get their friends to keep talking about themselves and forget to ask questions back.
People love to talk about themselves, and it can be hard for some of them to stop. People who avoid attention know they can make someone forget about focusing on them by continually keeping the conversation focused on their friends' lives.
6. Give short replies
People who don't like attention usually don't want to get caught in long conversations. If they do, they'll answer with quick replies to make it go faster. Short, one-word answers don't really give someone else an opening to keep the conversation going. They cause someone to run out of things to talk about and abruptly end an interaction.
People will also give short replies to keep the attention off of themselves while the conversation is still going. By refusing to speak for long periods of time, they put the heavy lifting of keeping the conversation going on the other person. They're probably hoping their friend will get bored and leave them alone.
7. Conform
We all have a natural tendency to judge people who aren’t acting the way most people behave. It’s an evolutionary instinct to try and solidify ourselves as part of a group so we don’t end up alone. Our biology forces us to notice when someone’s acting out of the norm.
People who hate attention have usually seen this happen firsthand and don’t want it to happen to them. They’ll choose to do the same activities their friends do or shop at the same stores. By conforming, they avoid being noticed and having people pay attention to them.
Some people feel embarrassed when they’re the center of attention because they’re nervous they’re doing something wrong. They'll worry someone's attention will cause them to be criticized. Because people judge others who stand out, some people conform to specifically avoid negative attention.
8. Offer Irish goodbyes
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I’m not saying I don’t like attention, but I definitely love an Irish goodbye. If you haven’t heard of this term before, an Irish goodbye means leaving a party unexpectedly. You don’t tell anyone you’re going home so you don’t have to say goodbye to them.
When I’m ready to go home at the end of the night, having to say goodbye to everyone can feel pretty exhausting. And if I say goodbye to a few people, I feel like I have to say goodbye to everyone. Irish goodbyes help me and the people who avoid attention skip out on those interactions.
Also, when people tell their friends they're leaving, they'll typically try convincing them to stay so they can keep hanging out. But these people don’t want that. They want to quietly slip out the back and go home so no one makes a big deal out of their exit.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
