People Who Are Mental & Emotional Liars Usually Say 9 Phrases In Casual Conversation
AJR_photo / ShutterstockSome people can't seem to help but behave dishonestly to manipulate the people in their lives. They may use mental or emotional tactics to leave you wondering whether they’re telling the truth because, spoiler alert, they aren't.
A person like this doesn’t want to get caught in their deceitfulness, so they try to say things they think will convince you that they’re being honest. When you can begin to see through the patterns, it will help you avoid this type of person moving forward. If you hear these phrases often, you might be dealing with a liar.
Mental and emotional liars use phrases like these to try to convince you they're being honest
1. ‘I wouldn’t lie about that’
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If someone claims they wouldn’t lie about something, they expect you to believe it. When someone says this to me, I always try to take their word at face value. It can be easy to trust people, especially when they say all the right things. However, if someone is saying phrases like "I wouldn’t lie about that," they may have ulterior motives. These words can make you think they’re being honest, but it could be an attempt to hide their mental and emotional lying.
Mental and emotional lying cuts deep. This type of manipulation can break someone down over time. It's easy for people to get caught up in their lies, because they believe they would never hurt them.
2. ‘You’re acting crazy’
Liars will want to flip the script. If they’re being accused of lying, they’ll do whatever it takes to shift the focus off themselves. Bringing your feelings to their attention might cause them to lash out at you instead. Mental and emotional manipulation leads to phrases like, "You’re acting crazy," as if they couldn’t possibly be lying.
I’ve experienced this firsthand. This type of lying can make you feel like you’re in the wrong, not the person who hurt you. It’s a form of gaslighting, and if someone says this all the time, they might have a lying problem.
3. ‘You know me better than that’
Dishonest people who want to avoid being caught will do their best to use your trust in them against you. Saying things like, "You know me better than that" when they are called out for bad behavior is a way to guilt-trip you in order to distract you from the accusations you are making.
A statement like this is meant to make you second-guess yourself. Mental and emotional liars want to make you question your own judgment instead of their behavior. Taking accountability isn’t something they're interested in. It’s much easier for them to place the blame on you than to deal with the consequences of their actions.
4. ‘I don’t recall that’
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It’s funny how quickly liars forget things. I’ve dealt with several people who suddenly forgot what they’ve done when I called them out on their lies. Saying they just don't remember is a safe bet because you have no way to prove if they do or don't remember it. It gets even more complicated because sometimes liars lie so much that they do alter their own memories.
If someone in your life constantly says this all the time, there's a good chance they might be trying to cover something up. They're hoping you will leave them alone since you can't really insist with confidence that they are lying, and they figure you'll simply have to move on.
5. ‘I can’t believe you said that’
I remember when someone I cared deeply about hurt me. I heard they were talking about me behind my back, saying terrible things. When I confronted them about it, they said, "I can’t believe you said that," as if I was the problem.
Someone like this will fake outrage to try to cover for their mental and emotional lies, but recognizing this type of speech can help you predict the likelihood that someone is lying to you. If they make bold claims like this and it seems out of place, you might be catching them in a manipulative lie, and it shows in the words they choose.
6. ‘I’ll be honest with you’
Some liars will try to convince you they are telling the truth by saying something like, "I’ll be honest with you," then admitting to something small that has little consequence. By owning up to something inconsequential, they think they will convince you that they are being completely honest.
People who say this are usually trying to hide their lies by leaving something out. This type of person is lying by omission. Instead of telling the whole story, they’ll say part of it. Using this phrase while delivering it can be an attempt to convince you they’re being forthcoming. In reality, they’re leaving out the part of the story that makes them look the worst.
7. ‘It’s not a big deal’
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Downplaying their bad behavior is important to someone who is constantly lying, so a liar will want to convince you that what they did isn’t a big deal. If they say something that makes another person feel taken aback, they'll try to insist it's no big deal in an attempt to cover their tracks. Lying isn’t bad if what they lie about doesn't really matter, right? Of course not.
Everyone has a different threshold and beliefs when it comes to what is and isn't important. If someone feels like the behavior was a big deal, they have a right to feel that way, but liars will insist it wasn't to dismiss the other person as a cover for their lies.
8. ‘Why would I make that up?’
Liars tell tall tales often. Sometimes, they are innocent enough. But when they come from a place of attempting to make you believe something that isn't true, that's a problem. Asking someone why they would make anything up is often an attempt to convince others they’re not lying. They know you won’t buy into their fake story, but they're willing to mess with your head if they can to make you believe it.
Asking you why they would do that is an easy way for a liar to try to cover their tracks. Whether the lie is pointless or hurtful, trying to play something that's false off as the truth is damaging and will make trusting this person difficult.
9. ‘You’re lying’
Someone who is lying to you may accuse others of lying to take the tension off their shoulders. They think that if they look like the person who is always seeking the truth, they may make others believe that they never lie. When this phrase is used often, or in a strange context, you may be on the receiving end of a lie.
If someone uses this phrase after you accuse them of lying, they’re playing a game. If they can make others believe you are the true liar, they can try to wiggle their way out of being seen as the bad one in the story.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
