People With Low Mental & Emotional Honesty Tend To Say These 9 Phrases In Conversation

It takes a lot of courage for someone to be mentally and emotionally honest. In a world where people are afraid to be vulnerable, showing up as your true self is rare.

People who are mentally and emotionally dishonest are often too scared to show up as their honest selves. They fear discomfort or being held accountable for their behavior. Often this shows up as passive-aggressive jabs and vague remarks. These go-to phrases reveal just how dishonest they truly are.

Phrases people with low mental and emotional honesty say in casual conversation

1. 'I don't care'

man in white shirt shrugging shoulders as he says i don't care Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock

When someone who is low in mental and emotional honesty, they say "I don't care" as a way to avoid engagement, not because they actually don't care.

While they may act nonchalant, whatever the issue is, it probably cuts way deeper than they'd ever admit.

As Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, LMFT, writes, "Being vulnerable is not easy and takes time, as it requires us to let our walls down and let someone see our true selves" and that's probably why most say they don't care. It might not be honest, but it's way easier than overcoming the fear of vulnerability.

2. 'Everyone does it'

woman in green cardigan drinking tea as she tells friend everyone does it PeopleImages | Shutterstock

Emotionally dishonest people don't like taking accountability. It doesn't matter if they were at fault and they knew the rules, they'd rather step on Legos than ever say, "I'm sorry." They'd rather blame other people.

As licensed professional counselor Jamie Cannon, MS, LPC, explains, "No one takes accountability anymore because to do so has somehow become an indication of weakness, a trait avoided at all costs to survive the hectic environment we live in."

That's why they'd rather say "everyone does it" instead. Even if it isn't honest, it's the only way their shallow ego will survive.

3. 'I was just joking'

friends walking as friend in green shirt says i was just joking Dean Drobot | Shutterstock

Dishonest people don't like being confronted. Even if they did something shady, they'd rather dodge accountability than stand on business and just say, "Hey, I'm sorry I said that. It wasn't kind."

That's why they're quick to say "I was just joking" even when it is incredibly clear they weren't joking. They hate being made to feel ashamed of their behavior, even when they have something pretty significant to feel ashamed of.

Once they're put on the spot, 90% of dishonest people shy away. Stuttering over their words and changing topics, they'll gaslight you into thinking it's all in your head. By making you the problem, they get off scot-free.

4. 'You're exaggerating'

woman with blonde hair telling friend you're exaggerating Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock

Mentally and emotionally honest people take others at their word, even if they do so with some caution.

Meanwhile, those with low emotional honesty think everyone is exaggerating or outright lying. Why? Because they know how often they lie or exaggerate!

This feels heartless when you're the one they're dismissing, but that's the reality of being this kind of person. Once they hurt your feelings, they'll turn around and say, "You're exaggerating" in typical gaslighter fashion.

It's your problem that you're upset, they'll insist. It's your problem that you don't have a hold on your emotions.

But while you're in charge of your own emotions, it doesn't mean your reaction isn't valid. After all, disrespect leads to more anger and aggression than being disliked ever would. That's why people should take accountability and admit when they've gone too far, but this rarely happens until someone is willing to do the work to be more honest with themselves.

5. 'I don't have a problem'

woman in green shirt rolling eyes as she says i don't have a problem Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock

Most people who say they don't have a problem are lying to you. They act unbothered, but often they're refusing to acknowledge something. By pushing it aside, they can pretend everything is better than it actually is.

So, if someone says, "I don't have a problem," pause. Usually, it's another way of shutting down. They may even be doing it to embarrass you or make you feel bad for raising a concern.

Opening up is hard. That's why, in some cases, it's important to give people who say this grace. They might have an attitude, but sometimes it's a sign something deeper is going on and they need professional support.

6. 'I had no choice'

man in gray shirt on the phone upset as he says i had no choice Julia Zavalishina | Shutterstock

When someone is immature or emotionally explosive, they'd often rather lie and say "I had no choice" than look at a situation objectively. Even if it isn't the full story, dishonest people don't care. If it keeps their ego intact, they're okay with avoiding accountability.

Sure, they broke trust, but that doesn't matter to them. Research has even shown that the more people lie, the less bad they feel. With their empathy and their sense of accountability nowhere to be found, they should be careful. Lying too much might eventually leave them lonely.

7. 'I was going to do that anyway'

man in white shirt on the phone saying i was going to do that anyway as he looks visibly upset Andrii lemelianenko | Shutterstock

Everyone's heard this phrase before, and it's almost always embarrassing. That's because most of the people who say something like "I was going to do that anyway" are full of it. They don't like being caught off-guard or to have someone flex authority or expertise over them.

Lazy and dishonest people use this phrase to make it seem like they're proactive. But usually, they use it to save face. They don't want to admit that you maybe know better than them, so they act like they already knew everything.

8. 'I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed'

man in red shirt sitting on couch upset as he says i'm not mad i'm just disappointed PeopleImages | Shutterstock

It's a classic 80s and 90s family sitcom trope: the kid makes a mistake or a bad choice and fears punishment. The caring parent sits him down and says they're not mad, they're disappointed.

But what does that actually mean? It's a little bit unclear. That's why these days if someone says it, they're probably being passive-aggressive too. They want you to feel guilty for disappointing them rather than have an actual conversation about the situation.

They may look forgiving, but true forgiveness means creating space for understanding. That's why this phrase comes off as insincere. Instead of being open and expressing their hurt, they aim low until the other person crumbles.

9. 'I'm just protecting my peace'

man ignoring woman as he thinks i'm just protecting my peace as woman with blonde hair looks upset as she sits on ground Drazen Zigic | Shutterstock

There's nothing wrong with protecting your peace. Setting clear boundaries is crucial for well-being. That being said, there's a difference between protecting your peace and using it as an excuse to cut people off ruthlessly.

That's why many people who have low emotional honesty will say, "I'm just protecting my peace," to avoid uncomfortable conversations. Double that if the conversation requires them to take accountability.

Nobody wants to sit there awkwardly and hear everything they did wrong, but if you want to have relationships, you gotta get used to sitting in discomfort. Even if it's hard, it's a skill every adult needs to develop eventually or they risk pushing the people who care about them most right out of their lives.

Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.

People With Low Mental & Emotional Honesty Usually Say 9 Phrases In Casual Conversation