People Who Don’t Make Everything A Big Deal Usually Have 10 Genuinely Peaceful Habits
Chay_Tee | ShutterstockHappiness and peace come from within, from showing yourself respect, compassion, and acceptance. Being happy with yourself and your life is often about the little things: small, straightforward actions you take every day to feel good about yourself and your place in the world.
But when you're busy and your mind is full of all the things you haven't done yet, you can easily and mistakenly lead yourself to believe you aren't enough. You tell yourself you're missing out, but instead you're overlooking all you have and the beautiful person you are.
So, how do you learn to appreciate yourself more and find peace? You pay attention. Block out the noise and reconnect with yourself throughout the day, and you'll notice a lightness in your being and a pep in your step.
People who don’t make everything a big deal usually have these peaceful habits:
1. They set smaller goals
Sometimes you can reach too high too fast and become discouraged when you don't meet your goals. Strive to be one percent better. Take baby steps forward, and you'll gain confidence as you gain momentum.
A 2011 study found that people who consistently achieved smaller goals developed emotional granularity,which is the ability to distinguish between different emotional states with precision. This skill is strongly correlated with both emotional stability and life satisfaction.
2. They practice saying no
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Set boundaries so you can do your best and feel happier every day. Say, "Not right now" to your family, "This is what I can do" to your coworkers, and say "no" to taking on somebody else's problems.
Say "yes" to healthier habits and say "good-bye" to psychic vampires who steal your joy and self-esteem. Block and unfollow.
3. They let loose
Laugh more. Better yet, laugh at yourself. Being perfect is overrated. Goof off. Sing, dance, and don't care who's watching. Feel the exhilaration of being yourself and loving it.
Studies from Stanford University show that people who can laugh at their own mistakes and imperfections develop psychological flexibility, which is the ability to adapt to changing circumstances without becoming overwhelmed.
4. They practice gratitude
Give thanks. Yes, a gratitude journal will increase your odds, but a simple morning and evening routine of reflecting on the things and people in your life that you're grateful for will make you happier and bring more joyful situations into your life.
5. They honor their feelings
Happy people aren't content all the time; they express themselves in the most authentic way possible. Own your emotions. It's okay not to be okay. Bottling up your feelings will eventually lead to an explosion. Deal with conflict productively, then extend forgiveness so you can put messy situations behind you.
Research shows that emotional suppression can intensify negative emotions over time while weakening positive ones. They found that people who habitually bottle up feelings experience increased stress hormones and higher rates of anxiety and depression.
6. They nourish their body
So much of self-image is wrapped around how someone looks on the outside. But the inside counts most: your personality and your well-being.
Take good care of yourself with adequate sleep, exercise, and nutrition. To feel your best, eat healthy foods that lift your mood and drink water to stay hydrated. Nourish your body, mind, and soul.
7. They embrace mindfulness
Mindfulness is about being fully present, connecting to your breath and senses, and inviting curiosity without judgment. A mindfulness practice not only grounds you physically, but also awakens you spiritually and emotionally.
You notice things that you might otherwise miss, and gratitude and compassion fill your heart. The good thing is you can be mindful in small spurts; it doesn't have to take much time or effort to have a positive effect.
8. They talk to themselves with loving kindness
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How do you speak to a friend who's feeling down about herself? With gentleness and consideration! You'd list off all her fabulous qualities and tell her she can do anything she sets her heart to do.
So, give yourself the same pep talk. Use encouraging affirmations. If you're at a loss, reach out to a friend, mentor, or coach to highlight your superpowers so you can use them confidently.
Research suggests we need five positive interactions to counterbalance one negative one. When your internal dialogue is mostly critical, you constantly overwhelm your system with negative input. Self-compassionate language helps restore this balance.
9. They give themselves a break, literally
Take three minutes, three hours, or three days; whatever it takes to recharge. If you're busy, put your feet up, close your eyes, take a nap, or zone out for a few minutes.
Protect your energy: put an imaginary force field around yourself if you need to, and do what works for you to recharge. You'll feel more relaxed, focused, and energetic. Plus, you'll meet life's demands with greater success and optimism.
10. They know their worth
Feeling good about yourself means recognizing your value. Take stock of what you bring to your relationships, work, and community. Everyone has a unique set of talents they bring to each situation.
Find your gifts and honor your contributions. You deserve happiness every moment of the day, and you deserve to shine. Surround yourself with positive people who encourage and lift you up.
To be happy, you need to fall in love with yourself. That means intentionally focusing on self-care and bringing more joy to every day. Even if it seems hard, it doesn't have to be. Plus, the payoffs are high. With these essential yet straightforward strategies, you will learn to love yourself and your life a lot more.
Lisa Petsinis is an ICF-credentialed life and career transition coach. Her bylines have appeared on Psych Central, The Good Men Project, Parade, Prevention, The Minds Journal, PopSugar, and All4Women, as well as many others.
