People Who Can't Relax Without A Glass Of Wine Usually Share 5 Unhealthy Habits
Karola G | CanvaAlcohol has become hyper-normalized, from beer bros to wine moms, happy hours to pub crawls, and for good reason: Alcohol is a huge industry, generating loads of capital from a captivated audience. But despite the fun of cocktail hour after a long day, it's important to remember that alcohol is a numbing agent that falsely enables us to get through another day, and can hurt our health if a harmless glass-of-wine habit becomes something more worrisome.
People who can't relax without a glass of wine usually share these unhealthy habits:
1. They aren't great at handling hard feelings
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Life coach Sidhharrth S. Kumaar observes that most people who have crossed into needing wine to relax downplay the importance or the effects of drinking regularly, either to themselves, to others, or both. It's a way for the mind to protect itself. Alcohol numbs us from facing any discomfort, humiliation, or deeper emotional demands that are underlying the need to drink.
2. People who rely on wine default to quick fixes
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Seeing wine as the easiest, most dependable method to "switch off," people who need a glass of Sauvignon Blanc to relax dismiss alternatives such as exercise, meditation, conversation, or other mindful habits, explains Kumaar. Mindfulness exercises are common in recovery programs from alcohol dependence, so it makes sense that practicing mindfulness is a better way to unwind than alcohol, even for the person who needs a glass of wine to unwind.
3. They treat the stress, not the source
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For many people who claim they need a glass of wine, the habit isn't really about the wine, explains therapist Gloria Brame, PhD. It's about relying on external fixes instead of developing internal coping skills. The pattern is predictable: I've had clients who swallow down stress all day with no self-care mechanisms to mitigate the pressure. Instead of addressing tension as it arises, they suppress it until the end of the workday, when it feels overwhelming.
Wine becomes their automatic go-to for self-medication, a band-aid that masks the problem without solving it. This technique introduces new stresses if wine consumption starts to spiral. Wine can also be emotionally numbing, which proves equally self-defeating for both stress and self-esteem. After a long day of suppressed stress, many people find themselves flooded with hurtful or self-critical thoughts. They use wine to dull their minds and "float away" from the internal chaos. Unfortunately, this strategy backfires, often leading to substance-dependency issues while the underlying emotions remain unprocessed.
4. People like this struggle to regulate their emotions
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Because alcohol can become addictive, points out life counselor Larry Michel, it's important to distinguish between rituals and needs or desires. For example, a nightly glass of wine may act as a reliable and comforting ritual that signals the transition from stress to relaxation. Subtle irritability without an evening drink points to habitual reliance on alcohol’s calming effects and potential dependency on it to regulate your emotional states.
5. They chase quick hits of pleasure
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We inherit the experiences of at least three generations of our ancestors in our DNA, and all three of mine are Irish Catholics who drank too much, author Meghann McNiff shares from her lived experience. Alcohol is what my body knows. Alcohol releases dopamine in our brain, the feel-good neurotransmitter. Every time we reach for a drink for our dopamine, we become more dependent.
Humans repeat behaviors that release dopamine. This survival instinct makes us susceptible to nonsense marketing that says something is wrong with you if you can’t control yourself. If you feel secretly worried or ashamed of your drinking, I want you to hear that there is nothing wrong with you — it’s the alcohol.
"While some people find that drinking alcohol helps them fall asleep more easily, alcohol ultimately hurts sleep," warns the Sleep Foundation. "Even in moderate amounts, alcohol consumed in the hours before bedtime can cost you sleep and leave you feeling tired the next day. Based on data from roughly 160,000 Sleep Foundation profiles, nearly 90% of respondents who regularly consume alcohol in the evening have reported at least one sleep-related problem."
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
