Mentally & Emotionally Irrational People Usually Say 10 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Steven Aguilar | Unsplash Some people can't seem keep a cool head, no matter how many deep-breathing exercises they try. Without fail, mentally and emotionally irrational people lose their temper and allow their emotions to get the better of them.
People who tend to be emotionally dysregulated often lose control and say phrases that push other people away. Fortunately, some of the things irrational people say can help you spot them early and easily.
10 phrases that mentally and emotionally irrational people say in casual conversation
1. 'Everyone is against me'
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Emotionally irrational people refuse to get it together enough to see their own role in the things that go wrong in their lives. This is something that frustrates other people immensely and pushes them away. The next thing you know, they're asking, "Why is everyone against me?"
Does it suck to feel unsupported? Absolutely. But people need to tell the difference between feeling unsupported and someone disagreeing. Just because someone doesn't agree doesn't mean they're against you.
When people understand that disagreement and even rejection are often not at all personal, disagreements can become a beautiful thing. We can learn and grow and even become more bonded through these conversations. But if we're totally irrational, that growth and connection are severely limited.
2. 'You'll never understand'
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The moment a conversation becomes heated, they blow up and lose control. It isn't healthy, but they're too caught up in their emotions to care, and once they're in this state, they can only see the other person as the enemy.
When they say "you could never understand" it's a sign they've shut down, logically. After all, even if someone doesn't know what you're going through, they can try to imagine and be understanding. But in the heat of the moment, irrational people are only thinking in extremes.
They believe what they say wholeheartedly. Irrational people truly feel alone in their struggles. But just because they feel alone doesn't mean nobody will understand them. People are more similar than different, including their experiences.
3. 'I shouldn't have to explain myself'
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Irrational people never feel like they owe you an explanation. Even if they drag you through the mud, they'll respond with, "I don't need to explain myself" when asked why.
Sorry, but some situations can't be brushed aside. Especially if their actions hurt you, an explanation can help bridge the disconnect. Unfortunately, irrational people don't care. They're too focused on taking the easy way out.
See, everyone needs to explain themselves, sometimes. Humans are unique and fascinating creatures, and we all come from unique backgrounds. That means assuming someone should just understand you is foolish. But still, they do it and this is probably why all of their best relationships have grown strained. Once people are tired of being dismissed, there's not much you can say to get them back.
4. 'If you loved me, you'd...'
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While intentions tell half of the story, the choices people make really matter. How someone behaves can either strengthen or destroy our connection. Irrational people know this, which is why they get frustrated and say, "If you loved me, you'd..." It's pure manipulation.
As clinical psychologist Monica Vermani, C. Psych., writes, "People who seek to control rather than engage in healthy relationship dynamics often suffer from low self-esteem."
This is why irrational people should spend less time criticizing and more time reflecting. Even if the other person is in the wrong, the best thing you can do is try to compromise or leave.
5. 'You're either with me or against me'
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There's nuance in nearly every situation. While irrational people try to sell you the whole "You're either with me or against me," narrative, it isn't that simple. There's a middle ground, which is why people shouldn't engage in ultimatums. Sorry, irrational people, but sometimes, true love means not always agreeing blindly.
In fact, when you care about someone, you don't want them to have to blindly follow you. Why? Because their experience and interpretation of situations can actually help you grow if you allow it to. And strong, rational people crave that sort of relationship.
This is why folks shouldn't get offended if a friend or partner doesn't side with them, especially in petty situations. In the moment, it might feel frustrating, but true growth takes a bit of reflection.
6. 'If they wanted to, they would'
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Oh boy, this one is popular right now and so misleading. It's often said about husbands wanting to help their wives or when people are making bad choices. But what is often missed by irrational people when they say this is that it can be incredibly challenging for humans to change their behavior.
When you're on the outside of this, it can seem like they simply don't want to change, and that's super frustrating. When frustration takes over, a common phrase irrational people say is, "If they wanted to, they would."
It would be awesome if it were this simple, but humans are anything but simple. Yes, it's frustrating, but it's important to give others grace. The kinder you are, the happier you become. This is why irrational people need to take a step back and understand that good intentions don't always mean immediate action.
Yes, sometimes you wait too long for someone to do something they say they will and you need to set a boundary or step back from them. That's healthy. But irrational people don't think about it in this way, it's all-or-nothing.
7. 'You made me act this way'
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Irrational people don't know how to control their emotions, and they make others pay for it. Like a child, they'll point the finger and blame everyone but themselves. Even if it means losing a friendship or two, they'll happily say "You made me act this way" until they have nobody left.
Nobody can make you act any way you don't want to. As licensed psychologist Edward A. Selby, Ph.D., writes, "Yet we are not passive creatures, we have the ability to respond in ways that will worsen or improve our situation." This is why it's irrational to blame others. At the end of the day, they don't control the words that come out of your mouth; you do.
8. 'I'm not changing for anyone'
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Irrational people are often incredibly stubborn. From a young age, they never budged on anything and it pays off for them enough that they just keep doing it. At bedtime, they made a fuss and their parents gave in, and in college, they never followed the rules. It's reckless but they won't change because, despite how much it pushes others away, they end up winning.
It doesn't matter who it is, it could even be their mom or their best friend. In their eyes, this is just how they are. Even if their habits are destructive, their mentality is to either accept them or kick rocks. Either way, they don't care and they end up hurting themselves the most in the end.
9. 'I couldn't help it'
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Mentally and emotionally irrational people will often go nuts when criticized, Even if it's valid they'll find every excuse in the book to justify their behavior, including ones that are incredibly disempowering to them, like "I couldn't help it!" when they very clearly could.
Irrational people can't take accountability, and while it may not bother them at first, this has real-life consequences. Before they know it, all the relationships they once cherished fall apart, leaving them lonelier than ever. After all, healthy adults are not going to stick around while someone acts like a victim of their own choices.
10. 'Nothing ever goes my way'
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It's normal to crash out and have serious down day. Bosses test our patience, and kids test our strength. That's why venting in the privacy of your own home is totally fine, as long as it doesn't get out of control.
But constantly acting like the world is against you, especially in casual conversations? That's a completely different story.
While irrational people are frustrated, being negative 24/7 isn't good. For many, negativity leads to isolation and depression. That's why irrational people need to find ways to check themselves. Even if it means seeking professional help, it's better to address bad habits than to let them impact your relationships.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
