Mentally & Emotionally Childish People Usually Say 11 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Miljan Zivkovic | ShutterstockMost people have had the displeasure of encountering emotionally childish people at some point in their lives, and while dealing with them can be infuriating, knowing there are certain phrases mentally & emotionally childish people use often can help you take them less personally when you hear them.
According to WebMD, mentally & emotionally childish people lack certain emotional and social skills and have trouble relating to other adults — which is to say, they don't have the impulse control necessary to keep them from saying some pretty ridiculous things.
Mentally & emotionally childish people usually say these things casually:
1. 'It’s not my fault'
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The first phrase often used by mentally & emotionally childish people is, “It’s not my fault.” If someone is truly mature, they always take accountability for their actions. Regardless of whether their mistake is big or small, emotionally mature individuals will put their pride aside and summon an apology, even if it’s not totally their fault.
Mentally & emotionally childish people, on the other hand, rarely want to admit that they’re wrong. According to a study conducted in 2012, people often refuse to apologize because it diminishes their sense of self and control. As a result, most emotionally immature people can’t put their pride aside and just say I'm sorry. This refusal to apologize often takes a toll on their relationships, sometimes even resulting in them losing the people they cherish most.
2. 'You made me do it'
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Mentally & emotionally childish people find it easier to place blame on other people, but that said, this type of avoidance doesn’t pan out well in the long run. According to a study in 2022, people who blame others tend to have difficulty with emotional regulation, so the next time an emotionally childish person uses the phrase, “You made me do it,” don’t take it too seriously.
3. 'You always bring up the past'
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The past can be full of painful memories that most people would rather not bring up. However, some hurt is so severe that no amount of apologies can fix it or make it better. A phrase often used by mentally & emotionally childish people is, “You always bring up the past.” Most mentally & emotionally childish people don’t understand or consider the consequences of their actions, and as a result, these folks often say things that intentionally or unintentionally hurt the people they love most.
4. 'Fine, I just won’t talk to you'
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Everybody has received the silent treatment at some point in their life. Whether it’s by an angry child or a disappointed parent, the silent treatment is notorious for making people feel uncomfortable — and being toxic. A mentally & emotionally childish person will choose the silent treatment over expressing their own emotions because, well, it’s just easier. After all, expressing emotions takes courage and a bucketload of patience and self-control: something childish people don't have. The silent treatment, of course, often backfires, as a study in 2014 found that emotional suppression is associated with an increased risk of cancer-related mortality. Knowing this, everyone should take care not to suppress their emotions. Though it might seem easier to turn our emotions off, it’ll likely come back to bite us in the end.
5. 'You’re overreacting'
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When tensions rise during arguments or disagreements, it can be all too easy to allow frustration or anger to get the better of you. Feeling cheated or misunderstood, mentally & emotionally childish people often resort to pettiness to feel heard by those around them. 2019 research explained that empathy is crucial for conflict resolution, but emotionally childish people are too wrapped up in themselves to be empathetic and often end up being dismissive with a casual phrase like this instead.
6. 'I don’t want to talk about it'
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Another casual phrase often used by mentally & emotionally childish people is, “I don’t want to talk about it.” They often have a hard time expressing their emotions without allowing their anger or sadness to get the better of them. On top of that, emotionally childish people aren't always able to pinpoint why they feel the way they feel, resulting in them shying away from expressing their emotions. Because of this, emotionally immature people will often deflect and say they don’t want to talk about the issue to avoid being introspective. Research shows that women who don’t express their emotions experience less relationship satisfaction than women who do, showing just how important it is for people, even childish people, to push their ego aside and allow themselves to be vulnerable.
7. 'That’s just how I am'
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Everybody has their own personality that comes with their own set of quirks and flaws. However, there will always come a time when people are expected to adapt for the sake of those around them. For some, this will be in smaller ways, such as learning to pick up their socks and put them in the laundry instead of expecting someone to do it for them. For others, it'll be in bigger ways, like learning to be more patient during disagreements.
That said, a phrase emotionally childish people use often is, “That’s just how I am,' and it's usually an attempt to excuse their behavior. Licensed psychologist Clifford N. Lazarus explained that most people refuse to change because of cognitive dissonance, which is when people experience mental discomfort as a result of holding two contradictory beliefs. Emotionally childish people will reject ideas or information because of the discomfort they'd have to endure to change.
8. 'If you loved me, you would…'
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A casual phrase often used by emotionally childish people is, “If you loved me you would…” It should go without saying that this phrase is pretty manipulative. According to professor of sociology Deborah J. Cohan, Ph.D., a go-to action for childish people is distorting timelines and, most disturbingly, the truth. In some cases, a manipulative person might use phrases such as this one to coerce their loved ones into making a decision that goes against their best interests.
9. 'You always do this'
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Emotionally childish people can’t help but exaggerate the truth, so a phrase emotionally childish people use often is, “You always do this.” Saying the word ‘you’ in an accusatory manner during disagreements can be instantly triggering. According to behavioral specialist Gregg Levoy, it’s important to use true ‘I’ statements instead, which he says avoid blame and finger-pointing. That said, emotionally childish people rarely care much about owning up to things. Instead, they’d rather place blame and accuse someone else to avoid taking accountability.
10. 'I’m fine, you’re the one with the problem'
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When people are in the middle of a heated disagreement, it can be difficult to keep their emotions from spiraling out of control. After all, we're only human. That said, a phrase often used by emotionally childish people is, “I’m fine, you’re the one with the problem.” Mentally & emotionally childish people hate to admit that they’ve lost control over their emotions. In their eyes, they may view this lack of control as a hindrance to their goals and will purposely shift blame to put things back on track. Unfortunately, this type of behavior doesn’t work out well for them, as they soon discover that no amount of blame-shifting makes their own emotions less difficult to deal with.
11. 'I never get what I want'
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Finally, the last phrase emotionally childish people use often is, “I never get what I want.” Mentally & emotionally childish people can’t stand to lose, and because of that, will whine or complain when things don’t go their way. They’ll throw temper tantrums or burst into tears to make the other person feel guilty for not giving in and giving them what they want. Sadly, research shows that people who feel guilt-tripped are less satisfied with their relationships, which are unlikely to work out in the emotionally childish person’s favor in the long run.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help topics such as relationships, career, family, and astrology.
