People Without A Lot Of Friends Usually Have 6 Habits That Make It Hard For Anyone To Really Know Them
İlkin Efendiyev | PexelsNot only do friendships give us a support system to rely on, but they protect us against stress. For people who don't have many friends, it's often their odd habits that can turn some people away.
It's hard to get to know a person when you feel a bit awkward and shy. But it's not just social skills that affect a person's ability to form a new connection. Things like being unable to show vulnerability or pointing out flaws in another person are things that make it nearly impossible to make a friend.
People who don't have many friends have these habits often push people away:
1. They immediately look for flaws when they meet someone new
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When you find someone who might be a good addition to your life, the last thing you want to do is think about all the things you perceive as "wrong." Maybe they don't have a hairstyle that's flattering or their wardrobe is outdated. Whatever these supposed flaws are, it's going to prevent you from forming a true connection.
When you look for what's wrong instead of what's right, people don't want to be around that negative energy. So, when people don't have many friends in their lives, it's likely because they're a very judgmental person who doesn't have interest in getting to know anyone on a deeper level.
2. They rarely open up
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When someone doesn't have a social circle, it's because they don't trust others. If this sounds like you, it's likely that you're afraid to let someone in, worried that you'll be hurt. So, you end up lonely instead. A closed-off mindset will get you nowhere.
Rather than hiding your true feelings and emotions, it's best to dig deeper. There are incredible benefits to being vulnerable, even if it feels scary at first. You're letting other people in, but they won't see it as an opportunity to make fun of you or judge you. It's a chance for them to connect with you on a human level.
3. They don't really know who they are
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When you don't know who you are deep inside, how can you expect others to? For those who don't have a lot of friends, it's because they don't know who to be as an individual. They may follow the crowd or adopt the personality of others around them.
"Understanding who you are means that you can identify the characteristics, traits, talents, gifts, and interests that distinguish you from the other members of your family or your peers... A person who is confused takes on a similar personality to a parent or peer instead of developing their own... they do not develop their uniqueness nor take pride in it," licensed mental health counselor Christine Hammond explained.
This comes off as extremely insincere to anyone around them. The last thing anyone wants to do is befriend a person who seems fake and superficial.
4. They love the chase, but lose interest after the catch
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When you're eager to get to know someone, you may do everything in your power to get them in your good graces. Maybe you compliment them or develop interests similar to theirs. But once they're interested in a connection with you, you're quick to run away and cut contact.
You can't expect to get to know anyone if you're dragging them along and then cutting them loose so quickly. It's because of that emotional withdrawal that people without many friends find it so hard to make new ones. They may not be bored, but maybe feel afraid of what will happen when their friendship moves past that initial stage.
5. They have perfectionistic tendencies
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Perfectionists often have a hard time keeping friends because of their unrealistic expectations they hold everyone to. It's no way to live and can steal your happiness under the guise of preventing rejection.
Not only that, but perfectionists are highly critical of themselves, but others as well. If they want to get to know someone but keep making underhanded comments, it's going to push that person away. Even if they don't think of themselves this way, they tend to lack the self-awareness to notice.
6. They excessively use social media
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When someone is chronically online or won't put their phone down, they're unable to have a proper conversation. While social media keeps us in contact with the people we love or are getting to know, it makes that true connection impossible.
"People often connect with others through shared interests, activities, or goals. The internet and social media can help facilitate these connections in some ways, but research has also found that excess online time may actually make forming real, consequential relationships more challenging at times," psychology educator Kendra Cherry revealed.
Samantha Maffucci is an editor and writer for YourTango. She has written hundreds of articles about relationships, trending news and entertainment, and lifestyle topics.
