Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X & Boomers Have Completely Different Ideas Of What Respect Looks Like

Mostly everyone values respect as a way to show that you care about other people and feel that same care in return, but cultural differences mean respect isn’t demonstrated in just one way.

It’s not just dependent on where and how someone was raised, though. People also have different ideas about respect based on the time period in which they grew up and reached adulthood, giving each generation its own idea of the true meaning of respect.

Gen Z, millennials, Gen X, and boomers have all developed slightly different ideas of what respect really is.

Older generations like boomers and Gen X grew up in an era that still appreciated traditional values in a way that we don’t quite see today, which made their definition of respect a little more formal. Younger people often express respect in a way that these older folks don’t fully understand, which can leave them wondering if they actually care about respect at all.

Boomers think that respect means treating authority figures with deference and recognizing the importance of institutions.

Work has become more flexible over the years, but boomers were used to a pretty rigid schedule. They never complained, though, and act like people who do are disloyal to their employer. This is another big issue because they treated people in leadership roles better simply because of their perceived superiority.

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Boomers also believed that being respectful meant respecting institutions in society. That could mean staying with the same company for decades. It could also extend to personal matters, evidenced by the generation’s belief that there were very few conditions under which you could seriously consider ending a marriage.

This group thought of respect as a pretty conventional and stereotypical thing. Some people, like managers, were just supposed to be respected because of who they were. They don’t understand why it’s become common for younger people to complain about their bosses or question authority figures and institutions in general.

RELATED: Boomers Naturally Developed 10 Social Skills That Gen Z Never Got A Fair Chance To Learn

Gen X sees being independent as a way to respect others and yourself.

The parents of Gen Xers gave their kids a lot of freedom that became deeply ingrained in their identity. Many from this generation grew up in a home where both of their parents worked, so they had to take care of themselves pretty often.

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Gen X developed a strong sense of self-reliance early in their lives because they didn’t really have another choice. They learned lessons about keeping themselves healthy and becoming resilient when they were young, and those principles stuck with them. Instead of resenting being left alone, they relished their independence.

Because of this, a lot of what Gen X believes about respect is closely linked to independence and self-sufficiency. They feel like the ultimate way to respect yourself is to be able to care for yourself without relying on other people. This also shows respect for others, in their opinion, because it means loved ones and strangers don’t have to go out of their way to help them, which makes their lives easier.

RELATED: 9 Old-Fashioned Rules Gen X Kids Resented That Make So Much Sense To Them Now

Millennials were the first generation that had to worry about showing respect in person and online.

Many of the tech devices and social media platforms that people can’t imagine life without now were first created and gained popularity while millennials were growing up. They used smartphones and social media in larger numbers than older generations, which gave them something new to consider.

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They’re known for being tech-savvy and for knowing how to communicate online, as the earliest adopters of MySpace and Facebook. This taught them the etiquette needed to talk to people virtually, but some criticize them for lacking face-to-face communication skills. In this sense, it sometimes seems like they prioritize treating strangers with respect online more than people they actually know.

The changes millennials lived through were huge, so it’s probably unfair to say they disregard respect because they’re glued to their phones. They were pioneers with technology everyone uses now, and they were the first to learn how to use it respectfully. They don’t show disrespect in-person, even if some people get the sense they aren’t as comfortable with this kind of communication.

Gen Z wants clear boundaries in their lives, which is changing young people’s relationship to respect.

This youngest generation is a bit of a mystery. They like to talk about how they need boundaries, but some experts think this actually comes with the cost of disrespecting others. Psychology professor Jamil Zaki said, “The use of therapy speak to justify, in essence, being non-committal socially, sort of withdrawing socially, or having the right to withdraw socially, I think, is really hurtful.”

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The formal and traditional things that older folks valued are also losing their place with Gen Z. They’re leading the charge to dress and speak more casually at work. You’d be hard-pressed to find a Gen Zer who knows a lot of the basic etiquette rules their older counterparts grew up with.

This doesn’t mean Gen Z has disregarded the idea of respect, but it does mean something very different. They think the most important people to respect are themselves, which can cause conflict at times. They don’t really think respect is something they should have to earn through their actions, but more like something they deserve.

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Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.