Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X & Boomers Have Completely Different Ideas Of What It Means To Be Polite
fizkes / ShutterstockSocial etiquette norms constantly seem to change from generation to generation. Boomers may argue that it’s bad manners not to strike up a conversation with the person next to you on a plane, for example, whereas Gen Z may argue that it’s actually rude to do that very same thing.
So much has changed with each passing decade that Gen Z, millennials, Gen X, and baby boomers now have their own ways of thinking when it comes to what makes someone well mannered.
Gen Z, millennials, Gen X & boomers each have their own different ideas about what it means to be polite
Many older adults are surprised by what Gen Z considers polite.
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Traditional courtesies like making small talk with coworkers or chatting with strangers don't always carry the same importance they once did. As a result, behaviors that baby boomers or Gen X might interpret as distant or unfriendly are often viewed by Gen Z as simply respecting personal space or staying focused on the task at hand.
Part of that shift reflects the environment Gen Z grew up in. As digital communication became the default, many everyday interactions moved from face-to-face conversations to text messages and direct messaging. Researchers, including MIT sociologist Sherry Turkle, have explored how smartphones have changed the way people communicate, arguing that constant digital connection can come at the expense of in-person conversation. That doesn't necessarily make Gen Z less considerate, but it does mean many have had fewer opportunities to practice the informal social rituals that older generations often associate with politeness.
Instead, Gen Z frequently expresses courtesy in different ways. They're more likely to value respecting personal boundaries, using inclusive language, asking for consent before sharing information, and being mindful of other people's comfort levels. To younger adults, those behaviors may feel just as important as exchanging pleasantries, even if older generations don't always recognize them as signs of good manners.
Millennials place a lot of emphasis on boundaries.
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Millennials, also sometimes called the therapy generation, are known for destigmatizing talk of mental health. This means they place more emphasis on creating boundaries and protecting their peace. However, some may argue that this comes at the cost of being impolite.
It used to be customary for neighbors to show up at other people’s houses either just to say hi or to ask a question. Millennials (and Gen Z), however, see this as an intrusion. They don’t understand why their neighbor couldn’t just call or text them instead.
Speaking of calling, millennials would rather text if they need something. If a phone call is necessary, they will often schedule it. Once again, this harkens back to the boundaries that millennials care about.
Gen X was raised with formal manners.
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Gen X tends to occupy an interesting middle ground when it comes to politeness. Many grew up with the traditional etiquette their boomer parents expected, but they also adapted to rapid changes in technology and workplace culture. As a result, they're often more casual than older generations while still placing a high value on behaviors like being on time, making eye contact, acknowledging people when they enter a room, and following through on commitments.
Many Gen Xers also see good manners as a sign that someone is paying attention to the people around them. Introducing people who haven't met, putting a phone away during a conversation, actively listening instead of waiting to speak, and avoiding distractions while someone else is talking are often viewed as basic forms of respect rather than optional social niceties.
While younger generations may express politeness in different ways, Gen X frequently associates courtesy with being fully present and making others feel seen in everyday interactions.
For many baby boomers, politeness begins with acknowledging the people around you.
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Boomers see saying good morning, writing a proper thank-you note, introducing yourself with a firm handshake, holding the door for someone, or addressing people respectfully as basic signs of good character rather than optional social customs. To them, these rituals are ways of showing that you value another person's time and presence.
Younger generations often express courtesy differently. A quick text may replace a phone call, and first names may replace formal titles. As a result, behaviors that boomers see as respectful traditions can feel unnecessary or overly formal to millennials and Gen Z.
Likewise, when those traditional gestures are absent, many boomers interpret it as a lack of manners, while younger adults simply see it as a reflection of changing social norms. In many cases, the difference is less about who is more polite than it is about what each generation has learned to associate with respect.
Sophie Bagheri is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and theatre who covers lifestyle topics.
