Intellectually Confident People Often Feel Lonely In 9 Situations Everyone Else Finds Fun
kuzmaphoto | ShutterstockIt’s easy to confuse being intellectual with being intelligent, but they aren’t quite the same thing. Intellectual people have an endlessly open mind that makes it seem like there’s a difference in how they think.
This comes with a lot of advantages, but it also means these people feel out of place in some situations that most others enjoy. It takes a lot to keep them engaged, and run-of-the-mill situations just don’t cut it.
Situations most people find fun, except intellectually confident people:
1. Talking to really practical people
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One of the hallmarks of intellectually confident people is a deep sense of curiosity. The truth is most of the things everyone does on a daily basis are a product of their curiosity, but it feels like such a normal part of life that it’s easy to forget.
Deep intellectuals are different because they’re always wondering how things work. They take curiosity beyond the surface level, so when they’re around people who try to avoid doing that, it feels really unsettling.
2. Being asked for their opinion with no time to think
There are plenty of group conversations where everyone is expected to say whatever comes to mind without giving it much thought. A lot of people won’t see a problem with communicating that way, especially when they’re talking to people they trust, but not the intellectually confident.
When someone shares their opinion automatically, there’s not much that goes into them actually developing it. That bothers deep thinkers who want to feel totally confident about the things they say and who enjoy the thought process that gets them there.
3. Having a conversation that’s a competition
The thing about intellectual people is that they like having deep conversations where no one has an ulterior motive. In other words, everyone is just communicating instead of comparing their accomplishments and trying to one-up each other.
Competition is part of human nature, but some people take it way too far. That’s when anyone who cares about the substance of a conversation starts to roll their eyes and wonder why they feel so alone.
4. Parties
People with intellectual confidence aren’t boring, but they do think about fun a little bit differently than others. For instance, being invited to someone’s bachelorette party might make them think they have to act constantly excited in a way that feels performative.
These people aren’t interested in really basic activities that others seem to love. That’s not their idea of fun, and pretending that it is just leaves them feeling exhausted.
5. Getting caught up in gossip
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Most of us were taught not to gossip once we were old enough to know what it was, but it can bring people together without being toxic.
That’s just not interesting to intellectuals, though. A gossip session makes them feel disconnected from everyone else because their mind doesn’t work that way. It really has the opposite effect for them.
6. Hanging out with a group of people that agrees
Agreeing with other people isn’t a bad thing in and of itself. It starts to bother intellectual people when everyone just does it without thinking because they want to conform, though.
People with high levels of intellect want to have thought-provoking conversations. They can’t do that when everyone is falling in line, and they’re expected to do the same. It feels wrong for them to just accept the overall opinion of the group instead of talking through it.
7. Doing something boring that everyone else likes
People naturally tend to like things that feel familiar to them. If someone thinks on a deeper level than most other people, the same things probably won’t feel familiar to them, or seem likable.
It would be like a group of friends sitting down to watch a reality show they love. For the most intellectual person in the room, nothing about that would feel interesting. Then they’ll be stuck feeling like they don’t fit in but also not wanting to.
8. Having shallow conversations that don’t mean anything
Intellectual people don’t want to think deeply and then have totally insignificant conversations. The small talk that other people are so skilled at making feels totally foreign to them. Why would they want to talk about something like the weather when there are much more interesting things to discuss?
They might be putting themselves at a disadvantage here because people usually enjoy conversations they thought would be boring more than they expected to. That means there’s no reason to write off a discussion altogether when it could still have some value.
9. Being encouraged to think less
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Honestly, this sounds like an insult to intellectually confident people. They enjoy thinking, so being told they do it too much sounds critical.
Since some people really do have a problem with overthinking, other people might tell them to think a little less when they sense that’s happening. That could be helpful for specific people, but not for everyone.
Intellectual people don’t spend so much time thinking because they’re anxious. It’s just who they are. This makes even well-meaning people seem invalidating at times.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
