80-Year-Old Influencer Shares 6 No-Nonsense Rules Younger People Hate Hearing
halfpoint | CanvaSocialite and groundbreaking public figure Nikki Haskell made a name for herself as the producer and host of her own TV show. She’s been hailed as “The Queen of New York Nightlife,” and now that she’s in her 80s, she’s reinvented herself on TikTok, offering advice to people of all ages.
Her advice doesn't include the usual self-help softness; she gets straight to the point. While some of Haskell's rules might sting a little and make younger people squirm, it's that no-nonsense approach that makes the advice land.
Here are no-nonsense rules from an 80-year-old influencer that younger people might hate hearing:
1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself
“Don’t waste time feeling sorry for yourself,” Haskell exclaimed. “People move on, and so should you.” Transitions are never easy, yet the way we approach them can change how we see ourselves. Instead of getting stuck in the past or projecting into the future, we should live in the present and work to appreciate where we are now, even if it’s hard.
Throwing a pity party might feel good initially, but the longer we sit in our despair, the harder it is to come out of it. There’s truth to the adage that the only constant is change. So, as Haskell said, the more we minimize feeling sorry for ourselves, the better off we’ll be.
2. Do the things that make you a little nervous
“If you’re not willing to take risks, then you’ll never succeed,” Haskell said. In keeping with the idea that the only constant is change, trying new things is one way to keep yourself mentally agile and spiritually stable.
Getting out of our comfort zone shows us that we’re able to do hard things and succeed, even when it feels like we’re on unsteady ground. Maintaining a routine is valuable for our mental health, yet we need to push the boundaries of what we think we’re capable of doing. You never know when you’ll uncover your newest passion, just by trying something new.
3. Talk yourself into being happy
“Even if it doesn’t feel like it, talk yourself into it,” she said. “Just keep saying, ‘I’m having a great time, and I’m happy.’” Haskell made an argument for the “fake it ‘til you make it” approach to mental health. There are definite benefits to leaning into our happiness, even if we’re not fully happy.
Wallowing in our lower emotions keeps us feeling low. By paying attention to the small, accessible things that bring us joy on a daily basis, we can help ourselves feel happier. Practice happiness like it’s a muscle to keep in shape. Enjoy that first sip of coffee. Marvel at the sunset. Focus on what you love, and your mood might just lift.
4. Don’t waste energy on things you can’t control
Getty Images / Unsplash+
Another part of staying in the present moment is letting go of our need to control every outcome. The truth is that we can’t control anyone else but ourselves, and most of the time, all we can control is how we react to things around us.
Instead of getting angry or frustrated by the world’s inconveniences, we can breathe deeply and move through hard times with grace to feel better in the long run. Holding on to things beyond our control drains us.
Life coach María Tomás-Keegan agrees, explaining that staying angry or resentful "will only zap your energy, erode your confidence, and impede your resilience." The advantage is that letting go makes room for happiness and freedom.
5. Don't let yourself stagnate
“Staying curious is your most powerful weapon,” Haskell advised. Expanding our minds and skill sets keeps us young, in that learning new things exercises the brain’s neuroplasticity.
"The secret to a longer and happier life is an open, curious mind," transformational life coach T-Ann Pierce confirms. "Staying connected to new ideas keeps you sharp as a pin."
6. Invest in yourself at all costs
“Always invest in yourself. Always invest in your dreams and your projects and things that are important to you,” Haskell advised. By paying attention to what we’re passionate about, we can build up our sense of self-worth and confidence.
"Learning to love yourself is a decision, a state of mind, and ultimately a skill," psychotherapist Ashley Davis Bush explains. Loving ourselves fully comes through taking small steps to care about our lives and our futures. If we invest in what we love (and what we love should be ourselves, first and foremost), we’ll become better versions of ourselves.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.
