5 Clever Psychological Tricks That Help People Get What They Want Without Being Manipulative
Meruyert Gonullu | PexelsHuman psychology can be complex, yet some aspects of our shared human nature are simpler than we might think: Most of us like what other people like. The people we spend time around influence our preferences. A study helped explain that people usually change their preferences to match their social group, and the group's preference can still influence a person months or even years later.
This is in part because social disagreement feels uncomfortable, similar to a loss. Any social interaction can cause long-lasting changes as we try to avoid the discomfort of disagreeing with people we like. Understanding the social effects of agreeing and disagreeing shows that there are various ways to manipulate human behavior in your favor, and not all of those tactics are malicious in their intent.
Here are 5 clever psychological tricks that help people get what they want without being manipulative:
1. People who get what they want use a person’s name in conversation
According to a member on the subreddit r/AskReddit, using names in conversations helps create a bond between you and the person you’re talking to. “It makes them feel important,” they noted. Referring to someone by name shows that you care enough about them to remember intimate details. Yet someone else on the subreddit warned against using a person's name too often in conversation, saying, “It will come off as creepy,” so it's important to find the right balance.
Researchers found that hearing your own name triggers distinct brain activity compared to hearing other names, showing that our brains process hearing our own name differently. Hearing our name holds a unique significance in middle frontal and temporal brain functions. Saying people’s names validates them and means you’ve been paying enough attention to their individuality. They’ve made a lasting impression on you, so you can make an impression on them, too.
2. They offer a choice between two things, and say the option they prefer first
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This technique plays into the idea of “the illusion of control,” which is a cognitive bias that makes people believe they have more agency over their decisions than they actually do. If we’re overwhelmed by choices, it becomes harder to make a final decision, especially one that we feel good about. By narrowing down someone’s options, people feel as though they have agency over the outcome, even if you’re framing the choices in a way that actually benefits you, and not them.
To really make it work, a study explained that just having a choice doesn't usually create an illusion of control unless the choice benefits the person. When people feel confident after choosing, it is usually because they believe their choice was the best option. Choice alone does not trick people into feeling more in control, but feeling that their choice was the best does.
3. People who get what they want say very little, so people talk
Another person offered the following advice on getting people to divulge information: They advised people seeking more knowledge about a specific subject to “Make eye contact and nod, but don’t say anything. Most people will keep talking to fill the silence,” they concluded.
Being an active listener is a technique to show just how interested you are in the subject at hand. Instead of filling in the blanks yourself or asking probing questions, try looking the person in the eye and nodding to show you’ve heard them. Then, leave open space for them to say more. Being a good listener is a valuable skill. One study suggested that the more you listen, the more people will want to share parts of themselves with you.
4. They ask people for an easy favor
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“Most people want to be helpful when it’s easy for them to do so,” noted another Redditor. They suggested asking people to do a simple, accessible favor for you, which makes them feel useful. Being helpful boosts people’s confidence and sense of self and allows them to feel like they’re valuable.
A study explained how this enhances the bond between you and the other person and makes it more likely that you’ll form a friendly connection. When we do a favor for someone we had felt negative or ambivalent toward, it will increase our liking for that person.
5. People who get what they want fake it till they make it
The final psychological tool is more about tricking yourself than tricking other people: Fake it ‘til you make it. Life coach Mitzi Bockmann cautioned that 'Faking it won't always work. But faking a smile can sometimes help people feel better. It has limitations, but it can be worth a try. Of course, it shouldn't be done as a way to pretend you're not struggling."
Unlike smiles, confidence isn’t always a personality trait that comes naturally, especially when we’re trying new things or in unfamiliar situations. By pretending to feel confident with a smile, you’re more likely to project a sense of confidence, even if deep down, you’re nervous.
Psychological tools don't have to be manipulative. They can be used to enhance interaction and communication, which is always a good thing. Not all psychological tools are designed to 'trick' people in a way that harms them. These tricks actually enhance the connection between two people, allowing them to feel a deeper sense of intimacy, solely for the purpose of growing closer, without ulterior motives.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.
