11 Brilliant Phrases People With Exceptional Self-Control Use On A Daily Basis
Mirjana Zidar | ShutterstockEveryone has likely experienced a conversation with someone who seems to have ironclad willpower. No matter what emotional strings someone's pulling, they can handle it, letting it roll off their backs like it's no big deal. These people don't get phased, and if you've seen them in action, you know how impressive it is.
As it turns out, highly intelligent people are more likely to have this kind of emotional self-control, but that doesn't mean the average person can't have the same restraint. Verbalizing this tendency, there are brilliant phrases people with exceptional self-control use on a daily basis that curb all sorts of outbursts.
Here are 11 brilliant phrases people with exceptional self-control use on a daily basis
1. 'No'
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One of the things that heavily contributes to a person's ability to control their emotions is establishing firm boundaries. According to research from The EMBO Reports, a person's capability to say "no" can greatly improve their career, often by protecting them from burnout and helping them ensure that they get paid what they're worth.
"No" is a full sentence. "No" is putting your foot down. It's a statement that draws a clear line on where you stand and that people won't be willing to make you do what you're unwilling to do. It's a strong word, and is one that people with exceptional self-control use quite often.
2. 'Can you please explain this to me?'
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Ever notice how some people will make absurdly mean jokes, just to try to tick people off? If you directly call it out, they will backpedal and say they were "only joking" and that you should "lighten up." But it's not "just a joke," it's an insult disguised as humor.
The point of these jokes is often to goad people into losing their cool, making them look unreasonable. The easiest way to counter this is to ask for an explanation as to why the joke is funny. It can also clear up misunderstandings instantly.
3. 'I can see how upsetting this is for you'
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Often used as a smart move in customer service, empathizing with people shouting at you is an example of using exceptional self-control. Tell them you understand their pain, that you want to help them out, and that you're on their side. Then, slowly lift up the mood by getting happier and happier.
This move is so successful that many major customer service companies have taken to advising others to use it. Those empathy-filled sentences are known as "empathy statements," and they can help others cool down while you figure out a solution.
4. 'I have to focus on me right now'
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In our society, we tend to get penalized when we take time to ourselves, especially women, who are often taught to take care of everyone around them. Whether it's asking for a day off to just go fishing or asking people to do the dishes for once, the result is generally the same: people tend to get angry. Some even go so far as to drop others' friendships once they can't get the same labor.
But being able to stand firm and say "I have to focus on me right now," that you are still your number one priority, is a huge deal. It's also a way to ensure that people don't end up wearing you down until you're totally unable to regulate yourself.
5. 'I don't have time for this'
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One of the biggest reasons why people lose control is because they get pulled in a million different directions at the same time. People with exceptional self-control are reluctant to add more to their plate than they can feasibly handle, or even more to their plate at all.
Though they may get guilt trips, questions, and remarks, they tend to be very firm when it comes to their limits. After all, planning every single hour of the day is not always realistic. In fact, it's a good way to burn out.
6. 'I'd rather handle this right now'
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Procrastination is the calling card of a person who lacks self-control. It also happens to be a sign of a person who might be putting things off out of fear. But we all have to pay a toll: do it now or do it later.
While procrastination has been tied to a litany of things, cultivating discipline is a good way to avoid this classic time-eating trap. If you see a person tackle the worst stuff first, chances are they grew up very disciplined.
7. 'Did you do this? Yes or no, simple answer'
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People may notice something interesting in their social circles: the most self-controlled people tend to expect others to be as disciplined as they are. And they tend to be very blunt when it comes to asking for results.
These are people who will not allow you to evade answers, give explanations, or anything else that would allow you to wheedle out of what you're supposed to do. They can and will stomp that out of you. Or, if you're their employee, fire you if you don't work on their terms.
8. 'Please excuse me. I need a moment to clear my head'
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We've all had people who pushed us to our very last thread of sanity. It's the type of person who might even go out of their way to annoy you. People who have a lot of self-control often know when they are going to snap, and will make a point of asking for space well ahead of time.
This is a great way to defuse a potential argument without harming anyone. It's also a safe way to plead with others to get enough space to regulate your emotions on your terms.
9. 'Now isn't a good time'
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If you know that you're dealing with a person who could become confrontational or aggressive, the best way to maintain your composure might be to kick the can down the road. For people with exceptional self-control, they'll often say "now isn't a good time."
Clinical psychologist Barbara Greenberg offered some excellent advice on how to handle it: delay, delay, delay. This can often work better than just saying "no" outright. As we transition from a society that works with bluntness to a society that deals with nuance, we're likely to see a lot more people take the hint with time.
10. 'Time for my meditation hour'
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Self-control means that you have a set routine that works with you and keeps you running like a well-oiled machine. It's impossible to keep yourself functioning and healthy without that time to prioritize your own self-care and relaxation. This is especially true when it comes to your mental health.
People who are well-versed in self-control will make a point of unwinding after a particularly brutal day. Some might do something like meditation, others might hit the gym, go out dancing, or hit a spa. Regardless of how they kick back, it's best to let them. Otherwise, it will catch up to everyone around them.
11. They respond with silence
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When someone is incredibly composed during a moment where most people would flip out, more often than not, they're dead silent. It doesn't matter how much the other person eggs them on. This is often a sign that the other person is not willing to get dragged through the mud.
Silence is generally the best way to handle most things, especially if you're being berated. It knocks the power out of the person berating you and tends to be the fastest way to make sure they realize they can't rile you up. It also lets others run their mouths and look like fools while you stay cool as a cucumber.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
