Brilliant People Who Know How To Politely Say ‘That’s Not My Responsibility’ Usually Use 9 Phrases In Casual Conversation
dimaberlinphotos | CanvaWhen the clock strikes 12 p.m. and lunchtime comes around, most employees breathe a sigh of relief. Finally, after hours of typing or staring at a screen, they can take a break. But as they get up from their desk, a co-worker may ask them for help. That's when the employee realizes what their colleague is asking for isn't even their responsibility.
In situations like this, brilliant people use certain phrases to politely say, "that's not my responsibility." When workers are put in uncomfortable situations, it can be hard to say no, but being clever and respectful can almost guarantee you get off the hook.
Brilliant people who avoid responsibility that's not theirs usually use these phrases casually:
1. 'I think you should consult [this person] on this matter'
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Too often in the workplace, employees unknowingly approach colleagues for answers the other person doesn't have. From asking what they should be doing to seeking advice on a subject they know little about, it can be impossible to kindly say, "go away."
If people want to keep their jobs or maintain cordial workplace relationships, they need to be kind and patient. By redirecting the person to the right person, almost anyone can avoid taking on extra responsibility they aren't paid enough to handle.
Keeping the peace isn't easy. After all, being nagged about things that don't pertain to their job can make it increasingly hard to stay polite. But it's still important to keep the environment positive; otherwise, it might actually make it even harder for people to do their job.
According to a 2021 study, toxic work environments can lead to lower employee engagement, anxiety, stress, and depression. So, while playing nice isn't easy in a room full of oblivious people, it will almost always benefit them in the long run.
2. 'I'm not the best person to handle that, but I can point you in the right direction'
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When someone is about to leave work and a co-worker approaches them with a problem, it might be tempting to roll their eyes and refuse to help. Instead of saying it's not in their wheelhouse, they can redirect their co-worker to someone who can help.
According to professor of counselor education Marvin G. Knittel, Ed.D., "It's important for all of us to have personal boundaries. They dictate how we approach relationships with friends and acquaintances. Our boundaries help us live in tune with our desires, needs, and feelings. We can say no to the things that we don't want to do and yes to the things that we want to do."
Boundaries are guidelines for what people are willing to accept and how they expect to be treated. So, while it may be frustrating and annoying, people who stay firm in their boundaries are more likely to have success than people who don't speak up about their needs at all.
3. 'I hear you, but I cannot do this'
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Sometimes, being blunt about what you need is the best way to make your boundaries known. If people want to avoid taking on extra responsibility, they can say something like "I hear you, but I cannot do this."
In the workforce, it can be difficult to say what's on your mind. On one hand, they don't want to accidentally set someone off or get in trouble for setting boundaries. But on the other hand, being upfront is far more effective than using vague words to get their point across.
Not being direct about their needs can cause confusion. According to a study in PNAS, misunderstandings can lead to confusion, which can then lead to conflict. With this in mind, it's better to say what you can't do rather than waste people's time by softening the blow. This not only makes the conversation more effective, but also ensures their boundaries are respected.
4. 'I'm sorry, but my schedule is booked'
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Everyone gets busy from time to time, especially when they're wearing many hats at work. From dealing with clients or customers to taking on tons of responsibilities, the worst part of being busy is the inevitable line of questioning that seems to show up at the wrong time.
Sometimes, co-workers might unintentionally bother someone when it's inconvenient, asking them rapid-fire questions or favors that have nothing to do with their normal obligations. It might be easy to ask them to go away, but being kind and polite is the best way to say no.
Whether people enjoy it or not, good manners and politeness benefit them greatly. According to researcher and psychology professor Paul J. Zak, in a decade-long study, he found that when people are nice to someone else, it releases oxytocin, which causes others to respond with kindness.
5. 'I wish I could help, but I'm not qualified'
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One phrase people use to politely say "that's not my responsibility" is "I wish I could help, but I'm not qualified." As it turns out, just because someone wants to help, it doesn't mean they are always the best person to do so.
Some people simply aren't the best or most trained in specific roles. Unfortunately, this doesn't stop others from asking them to take on more responsibility, even if they aren't qualified to. But if people aren't direct in their communication, they can't expect much in return. If a person doesn't know what their colleague can or can't handle, they may wrongfully assume this person is qualified to take on that role, even if they aren't.
That is why being upfront matters. While some might believe that honesty isn't always the best policy, people are actually much better at handling the truth than you may think. According to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, honest conversations are much more enjoyable, and people tend to react less negatively.
Even if it's scary, workers shouldn't be afraid to speak up and let their colleagues know what they can and can't do. Believe it or not, people are much more understanding than others give them credit for.
6. 'I understand, but unfortunately, that falls outside of my normal responsibilities'
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Honesty is always the best policy when people are stuck and don't know what to do. While bosses know someone's responsibilities, co-workers might not know their role, which can lead them to ask questions in the first place.
Direct communication and calm, collected body language help people avoid taking on extra responsibility while keeping things respectful. As associate professor Shahram Heshmat, PhD, explained, human behavior and expressions are directly tied to people's emotions. "People who look angry are likely to be perceived as dominant, and those showing embarrassment as caring about others' reactions," he said.
However, direct communication makes it much easier to avoid misunderstandings. As career coach and author Marty Nemko, PhD, put it, "Unless you're very direct in stating your concern, such people will remain in blissful ignorance and complacency." Being understanding and direct are both ways to inform co-workers of their responsibilities without being rude.
7. 'Sorry, I don't have the resources to help'
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Whether it's co-workers asking to pitch in for the boss's gift or trying to pass on tasks they don't want to do, there will come a time when someone asks a big favor that others simply can't help with. Not everyone can afford to contribute more than what they are responsible for. A colleague may ask for financial assistance or advice, but the person they're asking may not have the resources to help.
According to a Capital One Mind Over Money study, 77% of Americans feel anxious about their financial situation. If someone can't afford it or doesn't have the resources to help another person, they can simply say so. While rejecting someone isn't easy, focusing on their own resources and what they can provide is important.
8. 'I'm not involved in this area, but let me know if I can assist in another way'
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Employees have likely sat at their desks, minding their own business, when a co-worker comes up with a question they know nothing about. It's frustrating to listen to question after question that are unrelated to their department or expertise.
While it might be tempting to tell them to kick rocks, one phrase brilliant people use to politely say "that's not my responsibility" is, "I'm not involved in this area, but let me know if I can assist in another way." Likely, the people who ask these questions aren't intentionally making people's lives difficult. Feeling as if they don't know who to talk to, they go to the first person they can think of.
While it's annoying to be interrupted in the middle of work or an important task, simply redirecting them is the best solution. It keeps things civil and polite. And as licensed counselor Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, explained, being kind to others can give people a dopamine hit, making them feel good in the long run.
9. 'Sorry, I'm going to have to decline'
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Again, honesty is usually the best policy. When people dodge around the point or don't want to say what's on their mind, it can cause confusion and frustration. At the same time, being direct isn't easy. While most people would love to simply say they want to decline a request or task, it can be difficult when most people identify as people-pleasers. But if people want to build enough confidence to be direct about their boundaries, politely pushing back is a great place to start.
Practicing what they want to say is another starting point. According to clinical psychologist Rubin Khoddam, PhD, "Practicing what you want to say and how to say it will increase your chances of successfully setting a boundary... Knowing how you want to communicate your needs and limits ahead of time (and again, in a way that feels authentic to you) will make it more likely that you'll be able to say it in the moment."
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
