The Art Of Authenticity: 5 Simple Habits Of Naturally Authentic People
Naturally authentic people live with honesty and ease that makes everyone around them feel real, too.
Graham Mansfield | UnsplashIt took me a long time to get to the point of accepting myself, of being happy in my own skin, and I want to reach out to everyone who is feeling that they can't be authentically who they wish they could be. This is for all who want to know how to be authentic and genuinely happy with themselves.
For me, feeling different kept me hiding the real me. I was feeling embarrassed and fearful of what people would think. I was trying to be like everyone else. But the problem was I wasn't. I had my own way of wanting to be in the world that didn't fit in with the status quo.
My reluctance to be authentic stemmed from my need to be accepted and not rejected. My lack of self-esteem meant I didn't feel worthy enough to honor myself. It was only through working on my self-love that things changed. I know it sounds like a cliché, but as soon as I started to accept myself, I worried less about what people thought and more about what was right for me.
Here are 5 simple habits of naturally authentic people:
1. They refuse to live by others' expectations at their own expense
If you're doing a job because you feel you should be doing it, stop for a moment and think in an ideal world, what would you be doing instead? If nothing springs to mind, find a quiet place, grab a pen and paper, and write these two questions to yourself: In an ideal world, what would I be doing? And how would it make me feel? Then write down the first things that come into your mind.
2. They don't hide their true feelings from others
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We've all been taught to only show our best side, but the truth is, we're all carrying around baggage that's holding us back from really being authentically happy. Feelings from painful and hurtful things that happened to us as children or adults do not leave us until we start to talk or cry about them.
We might be in denial about how we really feel, but it doesn't mean the emotions aren't there and that the hurt isn't still affecting us. Be brave and tell someone close to you something that's happened to you that you haven't spoken about before, that you know deep down you feel sad or angry about. Get it out. Be authentic.
3. They don't neglect themselves
We're so busy running about after everyone else that we neglect what we need. Don't feel weak for needing time out: it's essential, and too many people aren't honoring their need for it.
Think about something you can give yourself time to do each week. It might be as simple as taking a relaxing bubble bath or doing an evening exercise class. Making time for yourself to do what only you want to do is so important to your overall well-being and authenticity, as well as getting in touch with your intuition.
4. They seek out stories that inspire them
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There's so much going on around you that drains your energy — the news and violent TV programs are just a few examples. Start paying attention to what makes you feel good and what makes you feel bad.
Anything that you put your attention on that makes you feel anxious or afraid is not good for you. A book that inspires and relaxes you is — especially if you choose one that feels authentically you.
5. They get to know themselves better than anyone else
Sometimes we get so caught up in helping others close to us with their needs and dreams that we forget that ours matter too. When you start to follow your intuition, you realize it's leading you to what you really want. And what you really want is never what you should be doing; it's what makes you feel passionate, alive, and authentic.
Helen Jane Rose, BA, MA, is a freelance writer, editor, spiritual coach, and former journalist.
