9 Things That Get Easier For Strong Couples Over Time But Usually End Weaker Relationships
Photoroyalty | ShutterstockStrong couples know that when they make caring actions a priority, they soon become a habit and lead to a fulfilling, happy partnership.
On the other hand, weaker relationships that don't work hard to build these healthy habits will often fizzle out. But if you actively avoid falling into the ruts that plague so many couples, you'll find that being happy and secure gets easier over time.
These healthy couple behaviors get easier for strong couples over time:
1. Giving each other the benefit of the doubt
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Giving each other the benefit of the doubt ranks high on the list of things you can do to improve your relationship. Yet, this is often easier said than done.
The reason I say this is because our families often get the worst of us; to completely plagiarize MTV, we really do stop being polite and start getting real. However, something as simple as giving your spouse or partner the benefit of the doubt can make an extraordinary difference.
2. Having outside interests
Outside interests don't mean your secretary. Instead, outside interests refer to hobbies or groups of friends.
You can use these outside interests to do things together (go for a hike, take a painting class, join a curling club), or use them to spend some time apart. No matter how much you're in love, spending time apart helps keep a relationship healthy.
3. Being spontaneous
Both men and women have a little bit of Indiana Jones inside of them. In other words, they like adventure, excitement, and being spontaneous.
Sitting on the couch and not talking to each other doesn't make for an exciting relationship; going out and living life does.
4. Traveling together
Another important point on the list of things to do to improve your relationship has to do with taking time to be together. Some couples prefer to do this with a vacation, cruising to the Bahamas or spending a long weekend in New York.
Others prefer a staycation, simply spending time at a hometown hotel or local spa. But whatever you choose, choose something. Taking a break will keep you from breaking.
5. Giving gifts just because
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Partners who have been in a relationship for a long time are often great at giving gifts when they're supposed to. Their Christmas presents are thoughtful, and their anniversary gifts are exceptional.
But a relationship can also benefit from giving a gift just because. When you do, you have the element of surprise on your side, and even those who claim they don't like surprises usually do.
6. Ditching the kids
You love your kids, but even then it's nice to have some 18-and-over time. This is because when your kids are around, you naturally focus on them, not your partner.
You zone in on their needs, their desires, and whether they are eating dog food from Rover's dish. Spending time without them, on the flip side, lets you focus purely on each other.
7. Working together
Actually working together (as in having his and her cubicles side by side) isn't likely to be on any things to do to improve your relationship list. The fact is, even the strongest couples have difficulty going into the office together day after day.
Instead, the type of working together you should do to solidify your relationship involves all the things that come with a partnership: taking care of your children, picking up around the house, and paying the bills. If you don't work as a team, and, as a result, one person ends up doing all of the work, your relationship itself will be work… lots and lots of work.
8. Being affectionate
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It almost goes without saying that intimacy is part of a relationship. Without it, you can argue you're masquerading as lovers but acting like roommates.
Yet, intimacy isn't limited to kisses goodbye, hugs for no reason, and walking hand in hand. A little affection has the power to speak volumes, going much farther than you might think.
9. Letting things go
Most people are wired to hold grudges and bring up the past, but holding on often keeps couples from moving forward.
This isn't to say that you should forget every way your other half has ever wronged you, but repeatedly bringing up how 6 years ago your spouse made hurtful comments about your grandmother's unibrow isn't going to be particularly helpful to any conversation.
Michael Griswold is a relationship and life coach who uses his expertise to help men and women heal broken hearts and find love again.
